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Cassandra
Devoted September 2021

Future mil drama

Cassandra, on February 10, 2020 at 9:21 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 25
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Has anyone else had major drama with their future MIL? My FH’s mother has not been very supportive his whole life. My family is paying for the whole wedding which isn’t a big deal. The main issue I’ve had is that his mother keeps telling us what we need to do for our wedding which she hasn’t contributed to. Last week she told me FH that I need to include his sister in our bridal party.. we are less than 3 months from our wedding and it’s so frustrating.


She is constantly speaking negatively to my fiancé talking about how he never does enough for her and telling him that we should be paying for her and his sisters bills (because that’s what family does). In all this wedding planning it has gotten to the point where I have very little patience for her. The smallest things are starting to get to me. She told my fiancé she was going to wear a white dress or this fairly scandalous dress (picture below). I want to be positive and include her in the wedding, because he has no relationship with his dad. Has anyone else had a similar experience? Any advice on how to handle a less than nice Future MIL? Future mil drama 1

25 Comments

Latest activity by Alejandra, on February 11, 2020 at 7:27 PM
  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Do you care to have a relationship with her? If not which you shouldn't put your foot down. She shouldn't be disrespecting either you or your fh. Wearing white is inappropriate and maybe tell her if she does she won't be included in any pictures. Plus he's not paying their bills... They're grown people. That's my opinion.
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  • Logan
    Dedicated September 2020
    Logan ·
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    I don’t have much advice seeing as I have issues with my FMIL. We’re in Ohio and she’s in Florida so Iv met her a total of 5 times. Everytime were there she is always like “what did you do to my son” (referring negatively to the fact that he likes to cook and doesn’t drink much.) every 5 minutes is “are you mad at me” and “I feel like your mad at Me” and then bam tears. It’s drives me nuts. She has a drinking problem, which she always has, and took a fall Down the stairs to concrete the other day that left her with 5 staples in her head (her BAC was over three time the legal limit) she claims she was just sleepy and refuses to see this huge problem. I guess at this point I’m just venting. Hahah but I understand how you feel. I wish I had advice Smiley sad good luckSmiley smile
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    I don’t necessarily care about a relationship with her, but I care about my FH’s relationship with her because she’s the only parent he has. I like the picture idea. We were also considering not having her included in the wedding ceremony and rehearsal. However, my mom did invite her to the bridal shower to try and make a relationship easier. Just kinda awkward.
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    I can definitely relate withe the never seeing the future MIL part. She lives 15 mins down the road but we’ve only seen her 3 times. They really aren’t super close. I’m so sorry that you are going through this as well. Does you FH agree with you? Are you guys including her in the wedding?
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  • Kristen
    Master November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    If she's being difficult then she does not need to be. I would almost set an ultimatum. She wants to participate in the ceremony then you need her to wear anything that is not a variation of white and something more formal. She can decide her attire but not white. How does your fh feel about her treatment?
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  • Logan
    Dedicated September 2020
    Logan ·
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    I’m sorry you are too. I know how absolutely infuriating it can be. Esp if you have no connection with her. Yes he agrees somewhat. And she will really only be a guest, if she even comes 😂
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    Yeah, I definitely like this as an option! He isn’t close with her, but she is the only parent he has. He feels that she is childish but it’s better just to ignore her.
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    Yes, definitely! That is so fair. She is the only wedding invite we haven’t sent out yet 😅. Would you guys include her in the rehearsal dinner if she is invited?
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  • C
    Dedicated June 2020
    Courtney ·
    • Flag
    I just wanted to say I feel your pain. I do not have a good relationship with my FMIL at all. She doesn't approve of FH's decision to marry me as if I have done something terrible to make her think that. She has two other sons and FH is the youngest. My shower is next Saturday and she isn't coming although her mom and sisters will be there. I told my mom that she probably wouldnt come to the wedding if she didnt have to.


    She isnt voicing her opinions on the wedding or telling me or FH what to do because I honestly think she doesnt want it to happen and is in denial now that it is getting so close. The other night we went to a super bowl party where she and FH's stepdad were.... when we walked in she was so excited to see him, but her face dropped when I walked in behind him.
    Sorry didnt mean to make this about my FMIL.... I would just say to do what you want and that you cant control her actions or what she does. At the end of the day you're going to be married to her son and that's the number one thing that matters....
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    Oh no! 🙁 I am so sorry that you Future MIL isn’t supporting your wedding. I really hope that changes. Is your FH and his mother close? Are either of his brothers married?
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  • C
    Dedicated June 2020
    Courtney ·
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    Yes they're close and yes both of his brothers are married, but his mom isn't as close to them as FH. They are older and from her first marriage... not that that matters, but I don't know...she doesn't see them as often.


    FH knows I am upset about it and that I personally asked her to come to the shower in addition to giving her an invitation. Her response was I'm not going to make the shower, but I will still get you a gift.
    I will say he has stuck up for me though. Not this past Christmas but the one before he had invited me to his stepdad's family's Christmas without asking her "permission". She threw a fit and said that I was not invited and he said well if she doesnt go then I'm not going either because me and her are a team. It was sad that it was actually on Christmas Day, but we had a nice day by ourselves together. At this point we were not even engaged.
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  • Logan
    Dedicated September 2020
    Logan ·
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    Honestly.... if it we’re up to me no. Unfortunately I feel That I shouldn’t tell FH that his mother isn’t welcome. Even though I feel she tends to make things about her self and play victim haha. in laws are a slippery slope. But in the end, she isn’t my mother. So if FH feels she should be included in those things then who am I to say other wise you know? I MADE YOUR POST ABOUT ME IM SO SORRY 😐
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    That’s definitely unfortunate that she’s acting like that. However, it’s so great that your FH is sticking up for you and letting her know that you are his future. I feel like that is super important for a good marriage. I hope she realizes that he’s serious about you and changes her attitude.
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    That totally makes sense! Such a great point of view. I constantly find myself asking my mom for advice and she is more forgiving (we are super close).
    No worries, girl! I needed a good vent session and I bet you did too ☺️! It’s nice to know that we aren’t alone in this situation!
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  • Logan
    Dedicated September 2020
    Logan ·
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    I’m glad we could get some stuff out 😂😂
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  • L
    Super October 2020
    Leslie ·
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    I understand but you might need to let it go. We can’t control what people wear or do in any circumstance even our weddings. You don’t need to worry about asking sil to be in wedding. She and mom will get over it. If you feel you should do something, maybe she can read a poem or a bible verse at ceremony. Let mom wear a hoochie dress. You’ll be the beautiful bride everyone is looking at.

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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    I haven’t reached out to her or had any direct conflict with her. I’ve allowed my FH to handle it the way he wants. We are kind of at the point of letting her be a guest but not including her in the ceremony. Is that bad?
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  • Alexandra
    Savvy August 2020
    Alexandra ·
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    I am in the same boat! My FMIL has never liked me. It started because she feels that I’m stealing her son away from her and because I have the same name as her daughter and there can’t be two of us according to her. It’s a really ridiculous story that is honestly hard to believe sometimes! Lol I am so sorry you’re going through this. Honestly, it’s hard, but just ignoring it might make her stop her antics? Kinda like a kid has a tantrum they do anything to cause attention, maybe she’s doing the same.
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  • V
    Dedicated August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    If your groom wants to invite her, you got to invite her... just keep her at a distance during the planning process and even the day of if possible. My groom’s family has contributed nothing and yet his mom thinks it’s okay to tell us who to seat where and who to invite. She has shown no interest otherwise. I’m keeping her away from all the shopping and planning and tastings because ain’t nobody got time to deal with that. Also will not be asking her to get ready with the gals and myself on the day of. Call me petty but I will also fail to mention her in our thank yous at the rehearsal which I’m not sure why she’s even going to be invited since she doesn’t support our relationship in any aspect. But I guess she birthed my groom so that’s an automatic invite. I hate his mom so yes I will be petty: Can you tell?
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  • Cassandra
    Devoted September 2021
    Cassandra ·
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    Yeah, I totally agree! Sorry you are also going through this. Sounds like we are both dealing with super immature future MILs.
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