Future husband turns into a jerk when anything has to do with wedding planning

I believe isn’t a normal behavior. He should be excited if he is not involved at least you are working on planning. I hope you can get to talk and he can explain why he is being a (blank)... maybe he is having second thoughts?

New year, new life honey. Drop him like a moldy potato. If you don't feel comfortable bringing up certain topics around him because of how he responds, that's a giant red flag.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. Most guys just want to show up and have it all done for them or have a little input. Yelling at your over the date is not appropriate at all and has big red flags all over it

This is supposed to be your wedding (as in the two of you). If you can't talk about it without him getting angry and mistreating you, it seems he is not interested in the marriage. This isn't healthy and I wouldn't entertain this behavior. If he can't respect you through the planning process and be helpful, how would be treat you once you're married?

This isn't normal. My FH doesn't like wedding planning much, but he's never said anything like that to me. Regardless if he doesn't care about details, if it's important to you he should be supportive. I'm sorry that you're dealing with this, but you need to have a very real discussion for it to possibly get better.

Wedding planning is definitely stressful but I think your FH is trying to show you there is something else going on with him. I would perhaps look into some premarital counseling and push out the wedding. Focus on what's really going on with him so you can have him be as excited as you when the planning reconvenes. My FH is very involved and I am a very blessed to have his support.

View Quoted Comment This is perfect.

Um....no. Just no. It's normal for a guy to not be overly involved and it's normal to stress over the finances but if my fiance EVER snapped on me like that, we'd have an issue.
It is NOT normal for a question as simple as a date to set someone off unless you are being relentless, which it doesn't sound like you are but might consider it. Still, this a big issue on its own.
It is NOT normal for you to not feel comfortable asking him any questions. I'd rather know for sure that my fiance WANTS to marry me before getting myself into an unhappy marriage.
You need to either talk to him, get counseling, or get the heck out. Think about the fact that that is the father of any future children.

You are not being treated with respect. period. No, most guys don't love wedding planning; however, at the very least he should answer your question with respect or at least hear what you want to say. Either he's majorly stressing over something else that he's not communicating with you or he doesn't want to get married anymore but feels stuck. It is NOT ok that you are not comfortable talking to him about the wedding or things like this. You need to be honest with him and yourself so you don't end up angry and divorced.

Highly recommend postponing or canceling the wedding. In fact, you might even suggest it and see how he reacts to it. If he's relieved and excited about it, then you know your answer (unless something huge financial came up). In my experience, people who don't want to get married don't start planning weddings.

I'm so sorry that you're going through this. I agree with a lot of others here. Unless you're constantly asking him questions or trying to get him to talk about it non-stop, he shouldn't be acting that way. Even if you were going on about it non-stop it would be a poor excuse to swear and berate someone until they are in tears.

My ex was a lot like that. It finally all came out after I accused him of cheating (it was obvious actually) and then he said he never really wanted to be married. He just popped the question to get me to "shut up and quit being so obnoxious". All this on Valentine's Day! He was also very angry whenever I brought up anything wedding related when we were planning. So, moral of the story is that it is much easier & cheaper to make the decision to stay or go now then after the wedding. If you have to drag him to a single pre-martial counselling session, then do it. Many pastors and other clegy will gladly sit through a single session for very little cost.

I hope that this all works out for the best for you, either way.

This goes beyond the question of a mans involvement in wedding planning.

My H would never speak to me that way, regardless of how excited (or not) he was to be doing something.

What you’ve shared would make me reevaluate whether I wanted to marry this person.

Good luck to you with whatever you decide.

This is not okay. This is enough to cancel. Not being interested in flowers is one thing, Cursing and belittling you while you try to simply set a date is another. Regardless of your time together, this is not acceptable. If you can't even communicate with him now, how are you going to feel when you're married? This should be one of the happiest times of your life. You shouldn't feel upset or alone in the process. I would step away.

Just a update... ended up calling the whole thing off and we are splitting

It must be such a hard time for you but it sounds like it was the right thing to do. Take care of yourself and never settle for anything less than you deserve

This is not good, I’m sorry you’re going through this I would put off wedding planning altogether for now and work on communication and the relationship. Counseling may be really beneficial and help you both get to the root of things and determine what’s best for you going forward.

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What she said... I'm so sorry you are having to go through this.

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I'm sorry to hear that but it really is for the best.

Best of luck to you and I hope we all see you soon with a much better life partner! You deserve so much better!