FSIL predicament

No. Don't ask her

@FutureMrsAF Valid question! They have just never gotten along, their personalities are polar opposites and he has always been more of the favorite child for which she resents him.

They have never been close which is sad as I am very close to my three siblings and he is very close with mine as well, my two brothers will stand up on his side.

His dad told him this week that perhaps they weren't close because "I took him away from her" when we started dating, however that does not make sense because she started dating her boyfriend years before I came around and they still weren't close so if anything her boyfriend took her away from my FH

Absolutely not. Her behavior is unacceptable at any age, but she is an adult. She doesn't belong in your WP among your nearest and dearest

25 is still immature for a lot of people. Do not ask anyone who you do not genuinely want standing with you, getting ready with you, beside you in photos.

It's your bridal party. Say no.

Don't do it. For now, tell FMIL you're still planning that stuff out and you'll see what happens.

Absofrickinlutelynot.

No way.

@Megan, yeah - okay I just wasn't sure if there was some big thing from the past that wasn't mentioned that maybe would have helped I wouldn't ask her, no way. She's made it very clear she doesn't like you for whatever reason, and that's not your fault. Like, even refusing gifts? I probably would have been like "I'm sorry, but wtf is your problem with me?" but I'm a little more confrontational sometimes.

@FutureMrsAF yeah at this point I think I'm going to have to have a conversation with her regarding our relationship and see if we can fix it. Although I've done nothing wrong I am willing to talk to her and work toward at least being friends. I'm glad I have over a year till the wedding because hopefully she will turn her attitude around but I am not holding my breath!

Ugh no do not ask her. Just be polite but firm with FMIL and change the subject when she brings it up.

No way! I'm in the same situation. My FH has a sister that absolutely hates me and I have no idea why, but I've accepted that it's just not worth my concern anymore. I did not ask her to be a bridesmaid, there's no reason you should have to have someone who dislikes you or you feel uncomfortable around in your wedding! That day is about YOU and your FH and your happiness, your in laws don't have a right to try and influence your decisions for their sake. They will just have to accept it or agree to disagree!

No fucking way.

Don't put her in your BP unless YOU and you alone want her there. Otherwise, her presence will cause undue stress and emotions and you don't need anything but support leading up to and during your lovely wedding.

Don't have anyone in your bridal party that isn't supportive of your relationship.

Nope don't you do it. She doesn't even barely say anything to you and you have tried. Nope she can get an invite but you don't have to put her in your bridal party.

Your wedding, your rules!!! Old rules say "if FH has one sister you're to ask her to be a bridesmaid" but let's face it, this 2017 BUMP THAT. No time for BS. Be cordial but don't kiss her butt. Life is too short.

Be strong and say no. It's your and FH's day.

How did your wedding end up being? How was your SIL at the wedding? I wouldn't make anyone a bridesmaid who simply didn't like me. It seems so backwards and cringey at the same time. I hope everything went okay FMILS can be so pushy and dismissive of obvious issues going on in the family.