FSIL predicament

Don't do it. Don't feel obligated.

Seeing as how your wedding is still over a month away, and you should not be asking anyone to be in your bridal party until 6-8 months before hand, I would would be inclined to say no. DO NOT feel obligated to ask anyone. It should be who you could not imagine having your wedding day without standing next to you. Things change though, so that's why they say to wait.

Nope! you don't need that nonsense in your life

Your nearest and dearest only . Don't make someone a part of your wedding because someone else requests it. It is YOUR day (and fh too) . You want your support system around you .

Tell them to gossip away! If someone behaved like that and didn't support your relationship then they shouldn't be in the bp. If FH wants to have her on his side then that's up to him.

I can relate, my FH SIL is like that to us too. She also find it all to be a competition but we just go about our business.. She then told his mom (our MIL) she was waiting for me to ask her to be a BM. Which I didn't because you need someone to be there for you during the high and lows. You don't have to include her if that's what you feel is best. They all will just have to get over it. Best of Luck!! you're still early on so maybe things will change. Sending Good vibes!

I'd stick to a big fat no. I wouldn't talk about anything wedding related with your FMIL. If she asks anything just say you're going to figure it out and for her to not worry about it.

If the family causes drama over this, they clearly don't understand that 'that's just how she is', because if they did, they wouldn't fault you for not having her as a BM. Not to mention, it sounds like she'd refuse even if you -did- ask

@Mrs_17 Yes exactly! I feel like she is also jealous because she has been with her boyfriend 8 years and is 25 while we have been together 5 years and are 23 and we are getting married first. It isn't a competition!

Everyone has been so helpful, I really appreciate all the comments! Thank you for validating my feelings. This is causing a lot of fights between my FH and I because his mom is really pressuring him which is wrong. She is also mad our BP is all friends and that he didn't ask any of his cousins because "Family is forever and friends don't last" in her words.

No ma'am! Don't do it...

Your bridal party should be people who you want to up there beside you. It should be your nearest and dearest. If FSIL doesn't fit into that category, then that is fine. Stand your ground. No is a complete answer.

Screw her. No one needs that extra unwanted drama in their life.

Definitely not. Imagine having to spend that entire morning with her during getting ready. You will be much happier if you just have the ones who love and support you most by your side!

Ok...you are very young. And I'm not going to say don't get married or anything like that, but I mention it because I definitely see a trend on here that the younger the couple getting married, the more likely the family thinks they have some say in anything that happens with your wedding (and relationship).

You two are adults. Young adults, but adults nevertheless. Your FMIL has NO SAY in who gets to be in your wedding party. Your FH gets some say, but in the end it is YOUR decision. And the people who stand up with you on your wedding day should be people who bring love and warmth to your day, not drama and awkwardness, or worse.

Tell her no. Not a chance. With the way you've been treated by her, absolutely not. And if she says that's just they way she is again, tell her well this is just the way I am - end of discussion.

Definitely do not ask her. It's such a mistake and you'll end up writing a million more posts asking for advice when she causes problems, which she will.

Hell naw to the naw naw nawwww lol

NO WAY! I'd tell FMIL to put her energy into telling her daughter what's up

Do you mind if I ask why she doesn't like her brother/your FH? Does it have anything to do with you?

Let her stand on FH's side if he's so upset about it. Also sounds like they actually enable her emotional abuse by rug-sweeping which is really sad.