FSIL "can't imagine not being in our wedding...."

I'm not judging you at all. If you're not close and FH doesn't like her...what's the issue? She's trying to manipulate her way into your wedding party? Nope.

If you guys arnt close and it wont cause any drama then dont add her in. Its extra stress that is unneeded

If you guys arnt close and it wont cause any drama then dont add her in. Its extra stress that is unneeded

Make her an usher! Then she still gets to be "a part of the wedding", and you don't have to get her the same things as the BMs.

Nope! Ask her to do a reading? Or be the wedding "hostess" (a job I gave a girlfriend) and she is going to hand out the programs and make sure people sign the guest book as they come in

Agree with the above ladies - give her another job. Just because she is your FSIL doesnt mean that you need to have her in your wedding party. I hate that mentality that people have. You want the people closest to you and FH standing up there with you. If she's not close to you, then you dont have her.

I was thinking of putting her in another position but she's very blunt (clearly) and will call it a BS job or something. I don't have the heart to ignore the request completely though.

Asking to be in a wedding is really rude to begin with, if you include her as a reader or an usher and she calls it a BS job, that's on her. Hopefully your inlaws will see her behavior for what it is-rude, spoiled whining.

Yeah, I'd say stick to your guns. One of my brothers and I are not close and for a while my parents were trying to guilt trip me into putting him into our wedding. I finally had to tell them, "Look, he's never been there for me. Just because we're blood, doesn't mean we're siblings." Was it harsh? Yes. Was it necessary? Absolutely. I haven't heard anything about it since and this was several months ago. (There is more to the story on why I said what I did... no judging.)

This is YOUR day, do what you want.

You're not obligated to include her at all! Tell her you're sorry but you have already selected your bridesmaids. You can offer her another job like the ladies above me have suggested. If she doens't like that, then she can decline.

No judgment here. I would not ask here, and if she brought it up I would just tell her you decided to have a small wedding party and you've already chosen your girls.

A reading can be very important. I think that is insane. I'd never ask to be a part of someone's wedding!

Straight up tell her she doesn't have to imagine, she's just not in it.

I have a similar problem. My bio father's step daughter...who is super rude to only be 18, looked me in my face saying "Uhh hum, I am your sister and I deserve to be in your wedding, why was I not considered to be a bridesmaid"? She is not of any kin to me. My mama and father have never been together since I was born and she's no kin to him...just as your fsil.. she's no kin and if you don't want her there she does not have to be in it. Its your day, you and your fh get what you want.

I'm not judging because I pretty much have had to do the same thing. I have 4 bridesmaids after all I wanted was 3. One of them kinda pushed her way into the bridal party and after that I've had enough. No more bridemaids for me. Just tell her you are trying to keep the bridal party small.