Frustrated already....

@Elizabeth, we have a date set. It's the date that exams are done, I have a couple of weeks to get things in order, and just before summer internships will be starting. I don't have to justify to you why I chose that date and why I don't want a winter wedding. I also don't appreciate the snarky comment on how I don't really have a date because I don't have a venue.

Outdoor weddings save some money.

Once you get the venue everything is way easier!! I remember getting way stressed, finally picking one and doing the deposit, then it was all smooth sailing!

Yes, we are looking at outdoor venues. FH is adamant about being outdoors!! We just have to make sure that it has a viable indoor option in case of inclement weather, because Georgia has unpredictable weather patterns. This week alone has been high 70's and sunny, to mid 50's and thunder storming, and today around 30 degrees with a chance of snow.

@espadas, there was no snark. The rule of thumb is, you don't have a set date until you have a venue booked (because this is the hardest thing, venues book up fast and far in advance).

You chose prime wedding season, so it's hella expensive. Since you were complaining about costs and fees related to your venue, people tried to help you keep them down.

Apparently you don't want advice if it doesn't fit your plan. So go ahead. Get married in June with no venue, FFS.

Elizabeth is right though - you don't have an official date unless you have the venue booked.

I was saying that a venue had that as an ACTUAL charge. Was simply stating some venues will charge for toilet paper if you're not careful.

Telling me "Btw, you don't have a date until you have a venue" has nothing to do with giving me advice. I also see nowhere where I asked for advice, but rather made this a venting post to release my frustration.

Espadas, you honestly don't have a date until you have a venue though. We say that a lot around here.

You posted on a public forum so you are going to get all kinds of responses. Apparently you are not getting the sympathy you were looking for but that's the way it goes. You are planning a wedding for prime wedding season, it's going to be expensive no matter what you do.

Espadas, you might want to lurk more if you're that hot and bothered over my benign post telling you the absolute truth. It isn't my opinion that you don't have a date until you have a venue. It's a fact. Can you find a venue to cater to you on that date? Yes. But you don't have a date until you sign that contract. It's rule 101 of wedding planning.

No one asked you to justify anything. You asked for advice and I offered suggestions, such as winter or spring weddings. You want to ignore it? That's fine. I'm not invested in your wedding. I was trying to be helpful. But hey, you know all, so you do you boo.

OP, Elizabeth wasn't being snarky. Most people would say that you don't have a date without a signed contract with a venue. Having no flexibility on your date makes your search for the perfect venue at the right price pretty limited but finding a Sunday shouldn't be as bad as finding a Saturday in peak season.

Good luck to you.

Everyone is giving you good advice, and you truly cannot set your date until you have a venue. That's just how it is. I'm not sure why you thought that was snarky. You should probably be a little more flexible...

I'm aiming for February 25th of 2018 but I know it's not my official date yet because I don't have my venue booked for which is all Elizabeth was trying to say. When I book, I'll tell them that I prefer February 25th but that I'll take any Sunday between January and March. Speaking of which, you could have the wedding the Sunday before spring break begins. That's what my brother and SIL did because she was a college student at the time. It might knock the price down a little more.

We're having our wedding at a golf/country club. Since we're having our wedding on a Sunday it cuts down the cost, significantly. It helps we chose a Sunday where the following Monday (memorial day) many people have off of work.

Stand?

You're also in June, which is going to make it hard to get any gentle pricing.

And honestly, people are trying to help you. Why? Who knows If you don't have a venue, no you have no date. And honestly? Though it seems far away to you? In the wedding industry its not at all.

Elizabeth is right. You can't do anything until you have a venue booked. Everything works around that.

Outdoor weddings don't automatically save money.

We got lucky with finding a venue with just a 9 month time frame to locate a venue. The venue that I fell in love with was totally booked for the date that we wanted (we didn't want to be flexible because we decided to get married on our 4 years dating anniversary and it just happened to fall on a Saturday and day that we knew that we would be able to have pretty much everyone that we wanted there) and told us that we were asking for their busy season and that if we wanted them that we either needed to book sooner or would have to be flexible for the date.

To cut to the chase, you need to nail down your venue a.s.a.p or your FH will pretty much have to deal with either eloping or doing a courthouse (and even then you need to book that in advance too) if you can't be flexible.

We changed our date to get our venue