From Wedding to Minimony/mini-reception, Am i Extra?

I say go for whatever is in your budget and that makes you happy! Just because it's a smaller wedding doesn't mean that you don't deserve the special details and decorations. Especially if it doesn't cost anything extra, I say go for it!

View Quoted Comment Good thing we are a diy couple so we can use decor, and set up over and over for the same price haha

I feel like everyone is different. We struggle with me being extra, and dh being super simple. We are planning a wedding because we only eloped in 1998. It is only my wish to still have a wedding.


If you ask my dh, he would not give a darn thing about wedding. For him signing the papers and basta. Done. He would careless if we married in old shirt, dirty pants, flip flop, and messy mom bun. He just doesn’t care. At. All.
Me in the other hand are still hoping for the wedding I always dream of. Intimate (just two of us), on a tropical beach, glamorous wedding dress, live classical music, flowers and flowersssss everywhere, high end resort stay, and perfect photographs as memoir.
My bestie told me, what’s important to him is only to be married with you, and what’s important to you is your plan. She knows me very well. If I planned something, even if it’s an old plan, I always pursue and made it happen
🤷🏻‍♀️

Well makes you feel better. We're having a minimony. I have set up a cocktail hour at a restaurant across the street where can finish pics w photography and then do a cake cutting and a champagne toast. This is before we head to a dinner at a roof top lounge. I have a maid of honor who got a dress, I have two photographers, I have a cascading bouquet and a day of coordinator. Girl go big. It's one day, no matter the size.

Yes!!! I'm right there with you. I canceled my big 250 person destination wedding and planned a Plan B minimony -- 15 people at a location closer to home. Although I've had to sacrifice the wedding I had dreamed of due to COVID, I refuse to sacrifice my experience. We're still getting married at a resort, splurging on good food and drinks, purchasing real personal flowers, DIYing my ceremony and reception decor (like I had already planned), and I'm still wearing my wedding dress. I wouldn't call it EXTRA . . . I'm just making up for the sacrifices I couldn't avoid. LOL! I'm probably spending WAY more money on this smaller wedding than the average small wedding, but I'm doing and getting what I want, and I'm happy!

View Quoted Comment Lol I love this. You sound like me we also have our coordinator.

View Quoted Comment Your hubby must me my fh's twin ha ha and you and I are the same.

View Quoted Comment Girl my officiant can also be a coordinator and I just realized I can stress about certain things the day of or pay her a reasonable price to handle it. It's still a special day and we want it to feel bridal. I get it.

Yes, yes, and YES!! Do your day the way you had dreamed of!!

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Yeah. I hope this time he knows it’s something I can’t life without and move on.

View Quoted Comment Hahaha I know! My hubby to be is actually super involve in how he wants things. Last night we were discussing which tree to get married in front of and he had an adamant opinion. Haha its the girlie details that he's like umm okay... lol
But now that I've walked him through my thought process of this being the ACTUAL wedding this is the day that matters now a later time that we put a show on for people or whatever. He's back to being specific about what he wants too I was gonna have a r÷need fake flower bouquet and he said jo your the bride you should chose yourself real flowers (i.e. the tree conversation) hahahahha🤣
He's just as over-the-top as me but he's incognito. Lol

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That is literally so awesome. I love that you will get to live out your dream wedding!

The thing is that small weddings have always been a thing (long before COVID came and the term minimony was invented) and plenty of small weddings have always had food, flowers, entertainment, bridal party, etc. I think there's nothing wrong with including these elements as long as they are within your budget. This doesn't make you extra. Especially if you aren't planning on having a second reception later. Make your wedding your wedding without worrying about appearing over the top.

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That is a very good point. I think I have the "maybe we should hold back on some items" feeling only because I know that had we planned for just FH immediate family, my immediate family, and bridal party, we for sure would not have included some of the items we prepared for the large version (plan A) wedding.

THANK YOU ALL! you guys have made me so extra excited to include all the things

A small private wedding does not need all the trimmings, Any more than 20 people for Thanksgiving would need all the things you planned for a wedding of 100. A pro photographer for a few hours, sure, and maybe an attendant each. How many can you have with the minimony?

View Quoted Comment I honestly prefer a guy who thinks like yours regarding a wedding, so bless his heart 🥂

View Quoted Comment Yes he really has made the experience of planning a wedding a blast rather than a chore. It's a funny joke now because his involvement showed right away when we had to change our color scheme because he knew exactly what suit he wanted and it would match green. If you met him he is so quiet, such an introvert so outsiders would never expect that he's so involved behind closed doors lol

Do you!! This is YOUR special day! The size of the ceremony/reception doesn’t matter because it’s still going to be a wedding and feel like a wedding because it IS a wedding and you can have all the stops! 😊 Lol we did a 12 person wedding the other wknd and I had all the details too... video, photo, flowers, party dressed up... it was magical and worth every bit of effort, regardless of minimony size!

We’re having a 50 person wedding and are going all out! Once we cut our list in half, we decided to do a full wedding weekend at a large retreat where everyone can stay. We have catering for Friday and Saturday night, full open bar both nights and a videographer for the whole weekend. I also kept the DJ, photographer and even bought a new dress for the new wedding. We were originally excited to trim down our wedding, but the farther we got into planning the more we wanted all of the extras!