Friends who are not invited

If she specifically asks about being invited to the wedding, I would just say "I apologize, we are keeping our guest list to close friends and family only. We'd love to get with you after the wedding though!" Since she's only been talking about the wedding, I think it's pretty safe to assume she won't take you up on the offer to hang out at a later date.

I had a friend that I used to be very close with start talking to me about once we were engaged. I knew he wouldn't be invited to the wedding. I gave no details and only said the guest list would be small.

I ended up de-friending him after the wedding because he got upset that he was never invited. You wont make everyone happy. Stop talking to her about the wedding.

Its funny because I have a friend who recently came out of the blue and is like how is everything congrats on your engagement when is the big day (this is like 6 months after)... It felt like she was fishing to be invited which is weird because she went from single (on facebook, but IDK I don't talk to here) to posting honeymoon pics, and I am like A) I was not invited to yours B) I obviously have no idea what is going on in your life why do you assume we are super great friends, but there was like a year where she never called me back, so I just find it weird when childhood friends SUDDENLY when you are engaged are LIKE HEY BESTIE! I told the wedding is all planned, invitations are out, and left it at that. I think she got the hint that she wasn't invited. She also asked for my address for a "Christmas card," and asked if I wanted hers. I was like no I will get it off the Christmas Card! Haha she sent me a picture of her and her husband (not sure if it was actually a Christmas Card or not!)

Hey Girl,

I think the best way to go about this is just saying that you and you FH aren't trying to have a huge wedding and due to your budget your trying to keep it under ___ people.

I hope this helps!

Im having a similar issues. I have a friend who said that I shouldn't have the wedding on a certain date because it falls on a Jewish holiday. (She is Jewish) It works for us because its a Sunday which is cheaper than a Sat. and then a lot of guests have the Monday is off. I think because she wants to be invited and honestly I just met her a few months ago so idk if we will even be friends when I get married since we are not that close right now. She keeps offering to help with wedding plans and Im having a hard time telling her no because I feel bad but at the same time I cant pick a date around when one or two people can go. We are doing a very small wedding mainly family and a few very close friends. I feel bad because if we do become closer by time we start sending out invitations she may be upset that I chose that date but honestly Im just trying to pick something that works in our budget and also makes it easier for majority of family coming.

I guess maybe we both have to just be honest with the people and hope for the best. Its deff not an easy thing to talk about.

I'm kind of in the same situation here, and I don't feel bad for inviting an ex-friend. Long story short there was a schism amongst our friend group and we ended up choosing different sides. Despite that I still reached out periodically and sent birthday and Christmas gifts after she moved out of state. A few years of not reciprocating, I figured she didn't care about our friendship. Turns out I was right, she had a freaking kid and I never knew! All of our friends from home were invited to the shower except for me.

I decided that that was it... I was done. I couldn't deal with the friendship being one sided anymore.

A couple of years later my FH proposed and she called the very next day to ask when the big day was.

Needless to say she isn't invited. She still texts me every now and then but I keep details close to the vest as to not give her the wrong idea.

You will always have people who will expect to be invited for a reason that is unbeknownst to you! My wife had a falling out with one of her acquaintances and even though she was friends with a ton of people at the wedding, we still didn't invite her. She never said anything about it. Another person had a crush on me for the longest time, I didn't return the feelings, we didn't invite him to the wedding because we literally never hung out outside of me running into him at work, and now he "sad" reacts to everything on Facebook, LOL. Another person called me a B***** while we were working with guests around, and neither my wife or I had made any attempt to contact him or hang out with him for the 2 years after that. He sent his well wishes with one of our best friends and asked why he wasn't invited... People want to be included in everything. They want to be part of it even if they are disconnected from the reality of your relationships. It's hard to make those choices but in the end we are very glad we did it that way. Hold your ground and follow your gut!