Friend's wedding on New Years Eve drama!

Guys aren't like girls with communication though. they can be friends and not talk to each other for long periods of time.

I agree with PP's there is a lot of reasons "you" don't want to or can't go. Let him go alone. Like @kimmyinjapan has said guys friendships are a lot different than us ladies

Have you asked him, straight up, "Honey, do you want me to be the bad guy and say 'no?" Sometimes my DH feels pressured by his friends to do stuff he doesn't really want to, but if he can blame the 'no' on me, it's easier for him. As long as he checks with me, I have no objections. If he really *does* want to go, I'm with PPs-- no reason your bridal shower should trump his friend's wedding.

@kimmyinjapan - We don't have that kind of vacation time unfortunately. Half of our vacation days we are saving for our own wedding and honeymoon. The other half will be used on the holidays next year (we promised family that isn't attending our wedding that we would visit for Thanksgiving). Two weeks gets eaten up fast!

And when my FH got home today he said we should look at flights and we did. After seeing them he said he just didn't want to go. After cooling off with texting back and forth with the groom, he said he didn't want to go alone and he was fine not going before the groom contacted him about the room situation. So I guess he's not going and I'm not going? I feel bad about it, but I didn't see the texts the groom was sending him. I'm not sure how badly my FH wanted to go vs. how much the groom was guilting him to go.

Guys are weird and are really really good at picking up right where they leave off. It's just how they operate. You FH may not have minded at first since they weren't in touch, but maybe like a PP said... he probably saw him and vice versa and started back up on their bromance. Getting back in touch with a really good friend always makes people realize how much they missed either other.

He may not have minded about not going at first, because it was the logical reason and probably what you wanted. But... he probably sat back and realized that he does miss his friend and wants to go. Just because they haven't talked before doesn't mean that they won't stop talking now.

Let him go mama. Trust, independence and compromise is key, and I'm sure you know this. Or, go with and have a really good time.

You could also let him go and arrange a girls trip or night out for NYE. I have to say that I've missed out lots of holidays and birthdays (army).... but it's not the day that matters, but how you make your days. You know? Time is so arbitrary.... you could recreate "NYE" when he got back and make it super sexy... if you know what I mean. Lol "Surprise honey!"

And as @zoe said..... ask if you need to be the bad guy. JT uses me when he wants to dip out at times.

@2B_Mrs.J.T. - I think we will just need to talk about it tomorrow. He was ready to fill out the RSVP card tonight with the no and I told him not to yet. I don't want him to be upset and feel like he's missing out, but I also don't know if he thought about it and realized the 2 people he knows at the wedding he will barely see since they are the groom and a groomsman. Or if he just felt pressured into going?

Thank you all for your input!! It has definitely made me take a step back and reexamine things! I'll update on what my FH decides tomorrow since I don't want him to just rush into a no out of frustration tonight.

@tinyred15 I love how you are talking about it with him and not letting him rush..sometimes JT rushes, and really .... sometimes I can't get him out the house. The man doesn't understand my need to chic flick binge in peace some days... haha..

@2B_Mrs.J.T. - Lol! That's funny you say that because my FH is exactly the same! With some things he rushes to get it over with....and other days it will take him 2 hours to step out the door -_-

Right!!!!! Some days it's a struggle... it's like pleaaaaaaase go out with your boys tonight.... and then it's a "I don't think you understand... I'm watching this chic flick as my Friday night movie, and if you stay, you are going to watch it too!"

And other days...I'm all... "really? Everyone's going to the beach and I'm stuck at work?... really?"

Update: So we are not attending the wedding nor is my FH attending alone. I asked him about it and he said he didn't want to go -_- He said even going alone it was a huge chunk of money that he really didn't want to spend and he was only reconsidering because the groom was texting him. He said before the groom texted him he was 100% certain he wouldn't be attending and was fine with it.

So I guess that's it for this! Thanks for all of your input!

I'm with you, that's WAY too much money. Are your finances together? If not, you can't really keep him from going and spending his money on the flight if he wants to. But if your finances are combined, that would definitely be WAY too much money for me/him/us to attend.

Yay! I'm glad you guys came to a decision that feels good

In 8 years of dating and 7 living together. Fh and I have spent a grand total of 1 NYE together. And to top it off, it is his birthday as well.