Friends bailing on bachelorette...

Didn’t ask for anyone to pick up the slack since the weekend “was expensive enough”. I don’t know if I should say something to my friend about paying my sister back, or if I should just let it go. What would you do in this situation? I don’t want to make it awkward, but I don’t want my friend to think that what she did was ok. If it came down to picking sides, I’m obviously going to pick my sister- but she is one of the Groomsman fiances. I just don't know how to handle this-because my sister is annoyed and has a big mouth just like me...SMH

Can your sister sell the ticket? Sorry your friend bailed

You stay out of this...this has nothing to do with you and should be handled between your sister and your friend

No- the ticket was only good for that one night- and it was for our cabana. My sister even tried to invite a few of her friends down last minute, but no one could afford it-I know its a lot- but if she couldn't afford it, why say yet then bail? that makes me a little mad

Idk this person didnt go... i say your sister just eats the money. it sucks but.... yea

This is precisely the reason these large extravagant Bach parties are out of control like everyone said on the other thread. 9 times out of 10 they are a financial burden on someone and they don't want to say in fear of embarrassment. I am sorry but if your friend didn't go maybe you should cover the cost. Everyone elses price shouldn't have increased either. It is a bad situation all around. I am surprised that you think so little of your friend that she would "play sick". I hope you called her to see if you could do anything to help her feel better. I am also surprised that you allowed your sister to harrass her about money while she was sick.

Hm. Well I had the same problem with a BM not wanting to pay - which wouldn't been fine except she also wants to go. I hate to say your sister might have to eat the cost if she won't pay up..but she did commit...tough situation. Stay out of it, for sure.

Surfer is right...unfortunately this is the chance a person takes when throwing a party...I threw DH a birthday party 2 years ago followed with a limo crawl that had a cost per person...3 of his friends bailed that night after RSVP-ing yes and I had to cover their costs. Oh well

I'm with Maltese...not your responsibility. You don't need to and shouldn't involve yourself in this.

Sure, the BM is not handling this well. Sure, she should pay up. But she may have just looked at her bank account and panicked, and she may be embarrassed that she can't afford it and avoiding discussing it because she doesn't want to reveal her financial situation.

Regardless, if this is that much a financial hardship for your sister, in the grand scheme of how much you are shelling out for the wedding, if it were me I'd pay my sister what she's lots, chalk it up to wedding expenses, and let it go. If it's more the *principle* of the situation, then even more reason to just let it go. You don't have to forget what she did - but you can forgive her, and let her not feel awkward through the rest of the preparation process, and you implicitly give your sister permission to move on, too, when you do.

It's drama you and your family don't need, and it's over an optional activity - she's not backing out of the wedding, refusing to wear the dress you chose, or any other number of things that would affect your actual wedding. You need all your energy and focus on you - no need to let someone else sap it over something like this!

Stay out of it.

I agree with Rebecca. Help your sister with some or all of the cost that she had to eat but stay out of the situation between her and your friend. Maybe she was really sick. Wouldn't you feel awful for thinking and speaking so negatively about her if she really is going through a rough time whether it is because of her health or finances.

The BM didn't handle it well, she should have been honest upfront if she didn't have the money or didn't want to go. But, BM's often feel pressured into these things because they feel it's expected of their position. That's why thought should go into the burden of these over the top Bach parties that are going on. Whatever happened to dinner, dancing and a few drinks?

This sucks - but unfortunately there is not much you can do about it. This is why you asked people who RSVP yes to pay up front!

MrsA2B said what I wanted to.

I mean yes, it sucks that she backed out last minute. But one, you automatically just assume she's lying, which is so great of you. Two, how classless to act like a debt collector and demand money anyway even though she's not going?

That is why these expensive Bach parties are such a bad idea. Every one I've ever been invited to has had girls drop like flies after committing to going. You're actually lucky only one dropped out unpaid. Your sister/MOH needs to suck it up and cover the cost since she didn't get it up front - sorry.

It's like anytime you lend money - don't lend money you aren't prepared to lose.

I understand as a bride your probably hurt, and you want to make sure your sister is happy by not eating up these costs. But if I were in your shoes, I wouldn't be asking that friend to pay up. Just because she said she couldn't make it anymore (for whatever reason, sick or not), why would she pay for something she wasn't part of? Sure, it's nice that your other friend allowed your sister to keep the money, but I would feel bad. If I wasn't going on a trip/to a party, why should I be expected to pay for it? Honestly, your sister shouldn't have planned something that's super expensive if she wasn't open to the idea of having to pay for a couple of no shows.

I would stay out of it, or if you want to, offer to reimburse your sister the cost yourself.

I know she wasnt sick because she went out that night with someone else and posted it on instagram.-i guess she thought i wouldn't see it?-idk- I totally get that it's expensive, but she could have just said that. My sister would've worked with her- i know she worked with a few of my other friends who are single moms, and on budgets. she should've just been honest. i wouldn't have been as upset.

Note: this is not a BM that bailed, its a friend.