Friends are asking me about my bachelorette party (not a rant-just somewhat hurt)

Let her. My sister didn't get start planning until a friend offered to take over and she realized it was important to me. I felt like I couldn't say anything without it sounding like I was a brat. But I did want to do something...so I completely understand where you are coming from.

I'm sorry. That is a pretty crappy response. I didn't have a bach or a shower since I didn't have a BP. Have your other friend respond to MOH offering to take over planning something.

I'm so sorry! I would be a little hurt too. Not so much by the fact that she wasn't planning one, but her response. She makes it sound like she doesn't care. I could understand if something was going on or financially it was tough, but a bachelorette party could just be going out for the night? It could be as simple as telling everyone a Saturday night to be in the area?

I don't know the whole situation but if your other bridesmaid is offering to throw you one, I don't think there is anything wrong with accepting her offer!

I would let your other friend take over. Sounds like she just can't handle it right now.

Yes, it's totally not about the party. Just the total lack of caring, but being super excited to see my other friend and her husband at my wedding. I will let my friend Lisa plan something because she really does want to which is super-sweet of her.

Sorry but your friend should not have showed you that message, that was not a friend like thing to do. Now you are hurt and this may cause tension between you and your MOH and its all totally unnecessary. A better way of handling this after getting that response would be for your friend to say . "You know Monica is really looking forward to having one, so if its too much for you right now I can take over."

You said yourself your MOH has gone through a tough year so is it not understandable why she may not be excited to plan a party.

@allysia...I can't say you are wrong about that, but the damage is done, and of course I 100% will be talking with her about this at some point. I really don't think my friend did this to cause problems just sort of out of frustration with my MOH.

I'm with allysia on this one. Yes, I can see how her response was hurtful to you, but it's something you never needed to see (especially a screenshot. It's one thing to hear it second-hand -- it's another to have a picture of it that you can keep going back to). Your MOH's response, I believe, says more about her current situation than it does about you (you did say she had a rough year -- and rough can be really rough). However, because the subject surrounds events honoring you, you're taking it personally (and it would be hard not to take it personally. That's what we tend to do). It would have been preferable for your friend to start a private dialogue with your MOH so that the two of them could begin to work together on some basic plans. You never needed to know about any of this. If she had taken that route, all you would eventually know is that everyone pulled together and pulled off some great events.

Anyway, now you've seen it. At this point, I would leave it alone and see what develops. You're a little over three months from your wedding. They have time to put together the pre-wedding events. You chose her as your MOH for a reason. I think she'll pull through (especially with your OOT friend in the mix).

It's hard not to be hurt by your MOH's comments, but as you said, she's had a rough year. Just take up your OOT friend's offer for a bachelorette party and enjoy it!

Let your friend plan something, she obviously cares...

I know it sucks that your moh responded that way, but some ppl just don't understand the important of huge life events!

Put it behind you, let your other friends plan, and just enjoy the best parts of your wedding!

Definitely let your other friend take over planning! Your MOH will probably appreciate it.

Let your friend plan something.

The text should never have been shown to you. The MOH is not obligated to throw a shower, and if she couldn't and your other friend wants to that's great. I would let it die and say nothing more on the subject to either girl, there is really no need to create more drama from it. One has been through a rough year and wasn't up to it for her own reasons, the other was excited to do it. Be understanding, and let it go.

No spying, okay?

Let it go. IMHO, the whole multi day, multi dollar bachelorette thing is out of hand. If she's had a rough year, why don't you make plans for a girls night out for dinner or drinks?

I think I would let your friend plan you something. If she does go ahead and plan something have her keep your MOH in the loop. If she has had a rough year she probably didn't mean for it to be a rude response and she also never meant for you to see it, it was not sent to you. You should maybe reach out to your MOH as well and make sure she is doing alright as well. Maybe she needs her best friend of 17 years right now by her side.

I also agree that you should have never been shown the message. Let your friend from Atlanta plan the shower since she is so excited about it. We shouldn't jump to any conclusions about the response MOH said in the text. It was a screen shot and we don't know the context in which it was sent.

Hi all. I went to be a bit down last night, but I'm fine today. I have stuff do do and am not really going to let this worry me.

@Celia....I'm a bit confused. How was I spying? I didn't ask my friend to contact me MOH or send me a screen shot of the conversation.

@SpringBride2015.....I saw the question my friend Lisa asked and my MOH's response was directly below that so I do believe I know the context in which it was sent. I don't think I was jumping to any conclusions.

I am however doing the Frozen thing and...Letting it Go.