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Super June 2014

Friend upset because she isn't a bridesmaid...

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Mrs. Noratel, on January 8, 2014 at 5:53 PM

Posted in Planning 24

Have any of you had a friend who was upset because she wasn't chosen as a bridesmaid? How did you handle it? I have a friend who I've known since 2nd grade. Despite knowing her that long, I didn't ask her because we have had more than enough times of arguments, when we went on vacations (we would bicker within 24 hrs), and she is pushy/controlling with things sometimes..like it's either her way or no way. We are fine talking and hanging out here and there but any "big dosages" at a time is too much for me. So I decided not to have her in it & avoid drama. Plus she wouldn't have the money to be in it anyways. So other day she messaged me and said she was upset/mad about it and I should of at least asked despite money, etc. Then she proceeded to say if it was her wedding and she really wanted someone in it and they didn't have all the money for things, she would be sure to pay the other half. --Excuse me? We are paying over $20k.

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24 Comments

Master March 2014
Private User · on January 9, 2014 at 9:02 AM
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You dodged a bullet if you ask me, I think it would have been much worse to have her in the party.

I had quite a few friends who were disappointed at first, I have three close friends from HS and three close friends from college. Plus 2 cousins and a FSIL. There was no way in hell I was having a 9 person bridal party so I played the family card. A few of my friends were hurt initially but once I sat down and explained myself to them they understood and respected my decision. A few were even grateful that they were spared the expense.

As a few ladies here have mentioned I think her reaction says it all. She is too immature, I don't think any kind of reasoning on your behalf will help. She will just have to deal.
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Master July 2014
Marisa-in-Love · on January 9, 2014 at 9:09 AM
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No you're fine. You did the right thing. If you DO want to involve her, you could do what I'm doing with one of my friends: Wedding Hostess.
My one friend is in nursing school and asked not to be a bridesmaid because she couldn't give me any time and she had no money to afford a BMdress. So I asked if she wanted to hand out the programs and stand near the guest book to make sure people signed. She is going to dress in the wedding colors, but her dress will be affordable for her. And then you can invite her to the Bachelorette if you want and still keep it in the Bridal party.
But if you really just don't want her involved, you don't owe her anything.
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Master March 2014
TheOGJesse's Girl · on January 9, 2014 at 9:17 AM
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It hasn't happened to me only because I keep my circle EXTREMELY small and I asked my circle of girls. I don't have just casual friends.

But in your situation, omg can you imagine if you had asked her. She sounds like a piece of work...
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Master October 2014
TiffanyShay · on January 9, 2014 at 9:18 AM
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Unfortunately, I have been in this situation too. You did the right thing. You have to do what you feel is best. I would def try to include her in whatever you can tho if she wants to be involved. Hopefully she'll get over it.
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