Friend upset because she isn't a bridesmaid...

I figured if someone was rude enough to complain about it, I wouldn't want them in the party anyway.

In addition to the above she said she still wants to attend things that the bridesmaids would. I told her it's for bridesmaids only. Like she wanted to attend the whole bridesmaid dress appointment and such. How do I explain to her that while I care about her and cherish her as a friend, I prefer it only being for the bridesmaids. She's not understanding and keeps saying I don't think much of her as a friend, etc etc. She also wants to attend bachelorette party but we were having it for bridal party only. I tried to explain to her that as well as additional reasoning's, but she didn't understand and doesn't get it. I don't want to be mean but she is being pushy and isn't letting it go. I feel she should in the end just say ok we will go out another time and just want me happy. It's my day anyways, not hers!

How old is she, 16?

^ Amen to what Erin said.

So what would you ladies say to this person if it was you? I want to try to get one final thing out to truly make her realize things and then I'm just dropping it and moving along.

You can try, "I'm sorry you were upset that I didn't include you as a bridesmaid, but that was my decision to make" its a good non-apology. Don't bring up the she wouldn't have been able to afford it thing again, I don't think she'll really care. If you can stomach it maybe there is some part of the wedding where you think she would be helpful you could ask her (manning the guestbook, managing flower girls/ring bearers). Just a thought.

She sounds like an annoying little sister.

This is when you grow "bridal balls" and tell her straight up.

NO

After alll the explaining you've already done, I'd recommend just dropping the convos totally, and don't give her the details of fitting/shopping dates. She'll get the point eventually.

I'd just not give her dates or times. If she keeps nagging, tell her the truth. It sounds like a toxic friendship

I had one try to replace one bc she thought she was better. I said sorry but no, i chose when we weren't that close and im standing by my choice

I never told her any of the details. And thankfully the bridesmaid appointment is already done with. I tried to explain to her that she would be invited to the bridal shower and she is invited to the wedding which to me your obviously important enough to be invited and you get to witness the wedding and still be a part of it. The only difference is your not standing next to me. Also she has a daughter and she doesn't have a lot of money so I'm not going to have her use the money she doesn't really have on a dress she would wear once etc. I would rather the money be used for her daughter.

YES. we decided to have 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen. i had 8 girls who were expecting to be bridesmaids, so obviously 3 of them couldn't be. 2 of them were SO AWESOME about it. totally understood. one i have actually asked to be my day-of-coordinator sort of. basically hang out with me and answer my phone. the 3rd girl has been batshit crazy. she makes me glad i didn't choose her more every time she brings it up

She just proved why she doesn't belong in your wedding. I can understand maybe asking you why she wasn't asked - but to downright ask you to pay for half when you're already paying for a wedding is RIDICULOUS!

She sounds pretty immature.

On a couple drunken nights I had a friend or two confront me about not being a bridesmaid. They basically said “I would’ve put you in,” which made me feel like complete crap. I didn’t put a couple of my friends in because I had stayed local for college, they had gone away. All of us that stayed local high school to college remained super closer and our friends that went away joined sororities and we didn’t talk to them for 4-5 years. Then they moved home and started hanging out again and a couple of them are in predicaments where their friends away at college aren’t including them in weddings and their hometown friends aren’t including them because they’ve bounced around a little bit. It’s a hard situation…but I think everyone goes through it. I’m sure they’ll be times when we’re upset somebody didn’t include us.

I understand dress appointments, etc, but I really don't understand why you can't at least invite her to the bachelorette party. Typically the Bach party is meant for a wider group of friends and not just the wedding party. Excluding her from that makes it seems like you don't "cherish" her friendship at all. It's kind of mean especially since she is hurt about the BM thing (not saying you're wrong about not asking her). I would try to include her where you can IF you want to maintain the friendship. Otherwise you may as well drop the friendship completely.

Just be straight up with her...

You made your decision and that's that... Period

I agree with Emily. I think that leaving her out of the bachlorette party seems just hurtful. Id invite her to that. If I were her id be upset too. You don't have to have anyone as a bridesmaid. It just feels like to me you have feelings of resentment due to the fact she's been a hard friend and you've bumped heads and your using your wedding as a passive aggressive way to show it. I'm not saying I blame you for not having her as a bridesmaid she seems very high maintenance but I would rethink the bachlorette party.

A gal I am no longer friends with called me in tears so upset that she was not asked to be in our wedding. I told her that we are not as close as we used to be. I explained to her that although we were very close friends in the past, I hadn't seen nor talked to her in over 6 months and (aside from random comments on FB) and she understood. Then I heard she was running her mouth so I stopped all communication with her and she is not even invited to the wedding.

It's nothing with resentment at all. She is very high maintenance and IF I would of had her as a bridesmaid...I'd be having to tend to her needs more than my own and I don't think that's how it works for your own wedding.

I basically have the same situation as Angela Marie. We aren't as close as we used to be and have grown more distant over time. I don't see her that often..months go by before I see her. And in the past she's run her mouth a bit, but I pushed it aside because the mutual friends we did have...they aren't even friends with her anymore because how she is. So despite things, I stuck around. She's a person who has to always get her way and this is my wedding, and I'm sorry but for once she's not getting "her way".

Anyways, Thank You all for listening!