Friend officiant?

You asked for opinions. I gave you mine.

Clearly you didn't want opinions.

Good luck. Get a contract. We get to cover for 'best friends" every week.

One of the reasons that you always want to hire a season pro is because they know their job inside out and backwards and have handled all types of crazy situations in the past! We'd all love for our weddings to go perfectly, but that is not always the reality - and when things go a little crazy, you want a calm seasoned pro at the helm!

I had a family friend officiate our wedding, but he's been an active pastor for over 30 years and actually met my parents when they were all in seminary together. When the power went out for 2 minutes near the end of our ceremony (and in the middle of him talking) he didn't miss a beat. He can literally recite the rest of the wedding ceremony by memory, instantly started projecting when his mic went out and switched off his mic pack in case it suddenly came back on so he wouldn't be screaming at anyone, and had an extra flashlight tucked away in his robes in case he needed it.

What you always want to consider with friendors is how things will go when they don't go perfectly well! Do you have a ceremony script for him to use? Has he written a ceremony before? Does he know all the legally required elements? How will you react if he's unresponsive during planning?

Just make sure to think through everything, including the things that can go wrong!

@Christy; I've never actually seen a judge officiated wedding, (not many of them do this here for a variety of reasons) but I have to say that I watched a special on ABC last year; 100 weddings in 24 hours. Many of them were done by the clerks at the NYC wedding bureau, and they were fabulous. (There were a couple of weddings at the SF courthouse too; gorgeous space and wonderful officiant...) When you consider that these clerks marry a couple pretty much every half hour, every day of the week? I was screaming impressed by their delivery and their enthusiasm.

I'd proceed the way I'd proceed with any officiant; set up a meeting in person, on skype, on facetime and see how your personalities gel. Listen, there are dozens of horrible 'pro' officiants out there, there are church based ministers that are terrible too. The really important thing is that your officiant, no matter who they are (unless you're doing a drive by at the clerk's office) has some grip on your personalities as individuals and as a couple, can write and speak elegantly, and can inject some humor into the day. I'm sure there are a lot of judges and notaries (we don't have those either in NJ) that are totally fabulous and love doing this work.

UO: I think officiants are kind of the exception to the "no friendors" rule. SORRY GUYS. As long as it is someone who is reliable and as long as you are clear about your expectations, it can add a personal touch to a ceremony. That being said, my good friend had her cousin (who was supposed to be officiating her wedding) ghost out on her and then cancel a few months out from the wedding. He didn't even end up coming. To me, this is similar to hiring a professional florist for your centerpieces vs DIYing. Is a professional officiant going to objectively deliver a more polished, eloquent, and well-timed ceremony? Almost definitely. But if you want to sacrifice some polish to share that moment with an important friend or family member and you understand the risks, I say go for it.

I'm having a friend officiate our wedding. She's done a few weddings in the past (including my MOH's last year) which were been perfect! We have similar beliefs and I deeply value her as a person and a friend. She knows us and can speak on a much deeper and more personal level than a stranger. Rather than paying a professional, I am taking care of her housing while here and getting her a thank you gift.

If this is someone that you trust and someone that shares your ideals, how could this be a bad thing?

My husband and I couldn't stand the idea of hiring a stranger to marry us. We had our high school Spanish teacher officiate our wedding. She has played a huge role I our lives and we are still in frequent contact with her ten years after HS. She was so honored that we asked her. We knew she'd be great. She is so smart, eloquent, and obviously used to talking in front of large groups as she travels the country putting on seminars and presentations. She became ordained and our ceremony went perfectly. She did a great job. It was so meaningful and customized to us. She told stories only she could tell and was able to speak genuinely to our relationship. I wouldn't have had anyone else! Our guests raved about it being one of the sweetest and most meaningful weddings they'd been too.

Guess who was the most talked about vendor at our wedding? Our officiant. She has been doing her job for 20 years. Guests told us she was amazing, her voice was so soothing, she was engaging, and she was perfect.

Oh, and she was a "stranger." I booked her after meeting her for a few minutes at a bridal showcase thrown by my venue.

@gym; I know your officiant, she is a personal friend of mine and I'm not a bit surprised at your comments. She completely rocks.

Jennifer, what do you think WE do? Walk in cold and read what we read last week?

My fiancé officiated his best friends wedding and it went great!