Friend officiant?

My cousin and his wife had one of their friends marry them and it was seriously the most memorable ceremony I've ever been to, this was 5+ years ago and I have been to many weddings since. He made it very personal and they chose the right guy for the job. It CAN work out don't listen to negative people, just be smart with who you are picking

UO but I'm been to multiple wedding with family/friends officiating and they were lovely and personal. I think this is the one area where having someone you know is not a big deal (as opposed to things like photography, DJ, catering, etc. that require your friendor to work the whole event). As others have said, just make sure you pick someone who is with comfortable public speaking and responsible enough to take care of the paperwork and legalities.

A coworker/friend is doing mine. She's done dozens before and I would rather have someone we know personally than a stranger that can't really speak to our relationship. You just need to know the person. Are they dependable? Have they done this before? Etc. Only you can really answer those questions, not anyone on here.

Make sure you check your state and county rules to ensure that he can be an officiant.

For example, in Fairfax County, VA, he might have to apply for a single day approval, and that requires him to be a resident of Fairfax County.

It's your risk, so I don't care what you do. Just think about if the person is reliable.

Honestly, every wedding I have been to that the officiant was a close friend/relative- was so much better and meaningful then any other wedding that had a hired/non relationship with the couple.

With that being said, a mutual friend of ours is officiating our wedding, he has never done one before. We sat with him for hours ( for more than a few days) we wrote our whole ceremony ourselves. He is very good a public speaking so that helps a lot.

Look up whatever state you are in, what the laws are.

I actually called the court house and ask about all the information they could give me about legitimate places for someone to be ordained. Just be careful and do your research.

I officiated my brother's wedding earlier this year, and it was an honor. It was not difficult, unprofessional, burdensome, tacky, risky or any other word some on these forums would use to describe. That being said, everyone is different. But if you think he is capable of the paperwork, responsibility, honor, and public speaking -- go for it!

Did you see that story where the officiant proposed to his girlfriend DURING THE CEREMONY and announced her pregnancy?

My FH's best friend/Army brother is doing ours. We are so excited and he actually got teary eyed when we asked him. He is writing the ceremony and sending us a copy this month so we can look at it and make any changes we want. He has also been in contact with my father to see if there is any scripture he wants in there. I know he is going to do a beautiful job.

Make sure it is legal, and have they done this Before? I think it would be nice to have a friend marry me. They know you, it's personal. But make sure it is someone reliable, there is a back up in case of an emergency like you would with any vendor.

My uncle was our officiant. He's done it before and we are legally married so it worked out.

Thank you for the opinions everyone. He has done weddings before, and he's been my close friend for almost 10 years. He's currently checking into what it takes for him to legally marry us in our county. I think it will be fun if he's able to do it!

Does he have a GF that he is not engaged with cause...

@ VC thats what I was thinking!

Haha no but I'm intrigued to hear this story since it's been mentioned multiple times

And btw to all the negative Nancy's... I see a vast difference between having a close friend officiate the ceremony and having a friend do the photography or catering. He will still get to enjoy the reception and he gets an honorable position during the ceremony.

@Stephanie....5th wedding, eh? That's great. I will do my 1500th wedding this weekend. My newest officiant has done almost 200 (many of them in two languages....) We've seen everything; dogs (and peeing dogs) , fainting GM, FG's with meltdowns in progress, lost rings, freaked out readers, and the perennial favorite, unity candles outside that stay lit for 10 seconds. We've stepped in with fake rings, duct tape, vows to replace those not read, and handkerchiefs for spontaneously combusting brides, grooms or moms.

Our initial conversations, questionnaires, interviews and followups (often hours worth) are specifically designed to ferret out the details about our couples that result in a ceremony that is very much expressive of their personalities and their relationship. Not to use me as an object lesson (but that's all I got...) , I have over 350 reviews here, and many of them say that the guests thought I was a friend of the family that they hadn't met yet.....(and that is said about my other officiants as well) This is the highest compliment we can get, and as a bonus, yes, we're legal, we can unscrew any license problems that occur and shmooze with your grandparents like we've been in the family forever.

You know, it's not just about being legal, which seems to be everyone's main concern. Almost anyone, (at least in NJ) can be legal except for my standard poodle (the ULC, leading ordination factory for Cousin Phils.... has banned animals being ordained. Spoiled sports) But you know all those questions that crop up here about writing vows, how to get licenses, how to construct processionals, where to seat step parents, how to combine your Hindu family with his Roman Catholic one?

Your best friend didn't answer those questions because your best friend has no idea, and when you start to construct your ceremony? They won't have any idea about that either. So it's all hands on deck. Your 'personal' ceremony will probably consist of a lot of chunks of random crap they found online, a rambling story about you that may or may not be embarrassing (some of them resemble the worst variety of BM toasts), and maybe a prayer or two. Or that shitty reading that is on every "100 wedding readings" post. "I Love you because". Kill me now.

You're going to do what you want to do. You think it's cool, and it's obviously cheaper, but is that really the way you want to start the day? With 100 people nodding off or being polite about how "great"" the ceremony was?

Nope.

^^ no offense but I hate that attitude. Yes you're at 1500 now. You also had to start somewhere......

My cousin (a priest) was ours. We paid him and did pre-marital counseling with him. If your friend is a professional I do not see any issues with it. But I sure wouldn't want someone who was "ordained" on the internet or doesn't have much experience. I will say that I feel like we were not given the same attention other couples would have been given along the way. There were a few times along the way I had to ask 2 or 3 times for an email he said he would send, I think other non-family couples would have received them right away.

No, Kristen; when I started to do this? I'd been preaching and doing public speaking for years, I was formally trained at seminary and at Celebrant, and I'd trailed at dozens of ceremonies, just like my officiants do.

I didn't practice at someone's wedding.

You don't know the other persons history either. You saw 5 weddings and immediately put them in the category of rookie. Regardless of your background, you also at some point in time had 5 weddings under your belt. I don't think it's fair to put down people that are just starting into something because you have so much experience.