Friend is hurt because she isn’t moh or a bridesmaid

So, I had my bridal shower today and it was great! One of my close friends from college (let’s call her Mary) drove up for it. Now, I do not know her current financial situation, but I know she has been struggling financially ever since we graduated from college at least ten years ago because of insurance not covering certain medications, or surgical procedures, as well as undergrad and graduate school debt. She also lives 2-2.5 hours away and even though we were really close in college, we have drifted apart over the years. We did at one point tell each other that we would be one another’s MOH, but again, that was a little over ten years ago. Since then, I’ve gained a sister-in-law—who is my MOH. Besides my SIL, I have asked two cousins and one friend that I’ve known for over twenty years—about nine years longer than this close friend. Anyway, while in the presence of Mary at my shower, my aunt asked if Mary was my MOH and I told her it was my SIL and then my aunt asked if Mary is in the wedding party and I told her that it’s just two cousins and the very first friend I made after moving back to the USA when my dad retired from the military. So, I texted Mary tonight to thank her for coming and all, she sent a long text back.

“Hi Erin. So, I’m really hurt. Honestly I don’t even want to bring it up. This feels like a slap in the face. While I wasn’t sure if I would be the maid of honor I at least thought I’d be a bridesmaid. I remember when we made this sort of “pact” or whatever in college or soon after that we would be each other‘s maids of honor. You must’ve forgotten or don’t care anymore. I know that was college days and we’ve drifted apart and matured etc. but you were still going to be MY maid of honor. So I feel like an idiot for holding onto that. And very hurt. I didn’t find that out until I got to your bridal shower today and your aunt was talking and I found out not only was I not MOH, I’m not even in the wedding PARTY. Wow. I mean I wondered what was taking so long to tell me if I was going to be in it, so I should’ve put 2 and 2 together already...but it didn’t fully register until today at your shower. I feel like an idiot now. I was trying to fight back tears the whole time. I thought we were closer than that. I really can’t express how horrible this makes me feel. And how stupid. You’re going to do what you need to do but this cuts deeply Erin. I know I haven’t been the most reliable friend either, but I have always loved you and thought that you thought more highly of me than you actually do.”


So, I don’t know what to say to her or what to do?