Rebecca
Dedicated September 2020

Friend Helping with wedding not a Bridesmaid

Rebecca, on September 18, 2019 at 1:37 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 1 12
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I have a good friend who wants to help and be a part of the wedding. She is not one of my bridesmaids what other "role" could I give her to honor her contributions.

12 Comments

Latest activity by Alycia, on September 19, 2019 at 4:08 AM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I would just write her a genuine thank you note and maybe give her a small gift. There’s really no “role” for a helper unless you want to pay her to be your DOC.
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  • Brianna N
    Super October 2019
    Brianna N ·
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    You could ask her to do a reading at the ceremony Smiley smile

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  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Ditto this

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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    Some people enjoy being a greeter, or usher for family seating. And some like to be useful coordinating, which only recently people have looked at as a job. But for more than a century until the last 15-20 years, only financially well off people had social secretaries or event planners. Most weddings, it was a family member or friend who volunteer teered. And in rural or sparsely populated areas, and places where people are lower half of incomes, there still are no coordinators at any affordable price * If this friend wants to take on something, like day of, setting out centerpieces or DIY, or directing vendors and making out receipt forms / signing, or putting props in place for a unity ceremony , checking set up and decorating a canopy last minute, being a baby minder for someone it the wedding, anything you feel your friend would enjoy doing and not find a chore. That is the important part.
    . . . Affordable price* for a coordinator not hired by the venue, but by the bride, starts at $1500 in our area, for 6 hours, and almost all decline job where the total budget is under $30,000. Most people have friend or family volunteers, or venue people. It varies by your area, what is acceptable as an unpaid task .
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  • Allaura
    Devoted April 2021
    Allaura ·
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    My FSIL is sort of in the same position. Wants to help and be apart of it but she’s not actually in the wedding. I’ve tossed around the idea of her doing a reading or something (not really sure how that works lol), I’ve tossed around the idea of putting her in charge of like people at the reception (helping them find tables, telling people to leave...)
    those are my ideas but I honestly have no idea what I’m actually going to do
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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I wouldn't give her a role unless it's bridesmaid. But I think a thank you note & gift card is a super nice gesture!

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  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I like that idea as well.
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  • Rebecca
    Dedicated September 2020
    Rebecca ·
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    Thank You. I just feel guilty now she is not a bridesmaid but I cant add anymore. I think the Thank You card and gift sounds great

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  • S
    Savvy October 2019
    Samantha ·
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    What about an attendant to greet guests?
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  • S
    Savvy March 2021
    S ·
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    Usher, greeter, helper setting up the seating arrangement/floral arrangements, etc. If the buffet line doesn't have servers or people monitor/clean it. Some one to continue cutting the cake for all the guests.... Lots of necessary parts for her to fill! Smiley smile

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  • Delphine Kenneth
    Savvy June 2021
    Delphine Kenneth ·
    • Flag

    There are quite a few things that a helper can do on the day of. Certain "jobs" should only be given to someone that is responsible and focused. Here are some of them. Make sure the *guest sign in book* or *unity candles* or *bathroom basket* gets from the church to the reception venue. Make sure guests that need rides to and from hotels or the church are secured. Arriving early to the church or venue to unpack boxes of needed items or direct vendors to appropriate locations. A lot of details that need to be completed are not front and center but are just as crucial to making the day go smoothly. Anyone wishing for a successful day for you would gladly get to making it happen in any way possible. Wishing you all the best!

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  • Alycia
    Super July 2021
    Alycia ·
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    "Honor Attendant". You can mention her in the program and let her walk down the aisle after the parents of the bride and groom. She can have a seat in the front row with honored guests.

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