"Friend" Booked Same Wedding Venue

Not sure if troll post or not.....

D: D: D:

I would think that it would be prudent to stop sharing ideas. Your pal is lacking in the creativity area-lesson learned about loose lips.

Don't worry about it-you don't get to "own" a venue from now until the end of time. And people have blissfully short memories when it comes to weddings other than their own. If it's really bugging you, tell her you would appreciate if she did not repeat your theme but understand that she's free to choose what she wants and you have no say in their day. Hopefully this works out for you!

Keep your venue. Don't mention any details of your wedding to her.

I don't think this is troll, there's a lot of information here. But Catherine, if you're not a troll you should change your avatar.

I actually think it's a good idea for you two to have the same decorator. It seems like it is entirely possible that the two of you share a similar vision for your weddings given your similar hobbies, so having the same person decorate she can ensure that you have some differences in you design and execution.

I don't think that your friend is doing it out of spite or trying to steal your dream wedding. Friends typically have a lot in common. However, I do think it was rude of her to book the same venue. If she hasn't booked yet I would just be open with your communication and say that it hurts you that she would book the same venue and you understand that she has a similar vision for her wedding but maybe there is another venue that would better suit her.

Ditto what everyone else has said - do NOT talk about the wedding with her or really, anyone else that you don't need to (this is why this forum is such a boon for me, I don't run off and spoil it for everyone around me)

I have friends in the SCA - you can still do an awesome themed wedding and not worry about it being a 'copy' of something done prior to yours. Your feelings are hurt, but you have definitely got to let this go

couples have been getting married for thousands of years. really. it isn't the end of the world when two weddings are similar. promise

ETA: My suggestion is to ignore the venue issue altogether. If you had any kind of trouble like I did, you know how few and far between a good venue is ESPECIALLY if you're doing a theme like this. Just run with it. Who knows, you might be able to save some money later using some of the same decor!

Keep your planing to yourself. She's allowed to use the same venue, and if she has a similar vision to yours of what she wants her wedding to be like, then she has a similar vision.

I would change....

The day after I got engaged my FFIL tried to coerce me and FH to book the same venue as FSIL and have a virtually "identical wedding" to the one she had in 2012. It was ludicrous , but he was totally serious. Also a good friend of mine did exactly what your friend is doing. My friend had been planning her wedding for 4 months when one of her BM's got engaged. The BM had her wedding two months before my friends but she copied every aspect of her wedding - same venue, same colors, same guest list, same food choices, even the same baker.

Imitation is the biggest form of flattery, right? So you are worried that people will think that YOU are copying THEIR wedding? If you travel in the same circles, then most should know who planned what, first...and honestly....your guests will just be even MORE thrilled to be able to do it all again!

Just do what you like and don't worry about hers. FH and I are getting married at the same place that one of his brothers did. Each wedding will be different even if they have similarities.

I'm sure your friend is having the same feeling-- "Crap, Catherine and I want the same thing for our wedding!"

They might be similar but its because you have similar tastes which leads itself to you being in the same group of friends. Its two totally different seasons and medieval is a WIDE open theme! Pick different colors and run with it. Things will look totally different, don't sweat it

Thanks for the comments! Had no clue about the avatar thing. I'm super new to using this site. I don't want her to change the venue; I would never want to do that to someone. She has every right to pick whatever venue she wants. I guess I want to get my point across that I don't want the same decor. I agree with not sharing ideas with her, though. I know our decorator friend wouldn't want his decorating reputation tarnished so he wouldn't dream of having the same decor for two weddings. My friend wants to talk about it tonight and I am going to try to be as nice as possible about it.

Honestly, I'd be upset too! Just don't talk about the wedding to her, since she copy-cats off of you.

I think you can make a unique wedding happen regardless if all the parts are the same... I mean really every wedding out there is a ceremony of some sort and maybe a party of some sort....a lot of it is check off the list things like center pieces, a fancy outfit, food or drink....etc....I really do believe that if you gave 2 women the same identical items to make a wedding happen it would likely not look anything a like because of personality and preferences. Even if they have similar themes and locations I think you and your husband and the decisions you make related to the event will make it feel different and special.

Cathering are you in the SCA? so am I.

though I probably would react the same as you, I think you are worrying over nothing. much as some would be upset for my saying this, a lot of SCA wedding do end up looking kind of similar to many people. though I have always been able to tell the difference.

have you considered a double wedding? could be a great idea! I'm going to send you a invite to connect. would love to hear details of your medieval wedding

I would be upset and change. Otherwise friends would think you;re the one copying..

I'm in a medieval fighting group on the east coast - and I've been to a bunch of medieval themed weddings within my group. All of them ended up being very unique and fun (even those that were at the same venue). Just run with your vision. Maybe plan with your friend and mutual designer - to make sure colors/flowers/etc are unique.

Allow me to make another comment, if catherine is in the SCA, most people in the SCA don't care about copying. since a lot of sca people have medieval weddings, they often end up booked and the same places since it's not easy to find venues that can pull off that kind of look. the idea that the wedding will look very different isn't very realistic.

speaking as a loooong time member of a medieval reenactment group, the typical hang ups that people have about weddings simply do not apply in the SCA or most other creative groups. do what you can to make things different, but please don't sacrifice a vision you've dreamed of because it's similar. people in general aren't going to care, and if they do that's their problem. some people have the sensitivity of a grapefruit. just put those that may comment in that category.

Same thing happened to me. Shady boots!! Get your own venue, ideas and everything else!! It's not okay to steal someone's venue. Don't ruin someone else's event because you are ignorant. Don't be a tacky bride!!