Found disturbing texts on fiancé’s ipad

Bring it up in a way that doesn’t involve the texts and give him the opportunity to open up so he doesn’t feel like you’re accusing him. “Hey, you’ve been acting kind of off lately, is something up?” If he doesn’t come clean, I would just be upfront. Tell him that you know he’s using recreational drugs and you deserve to know the truth. But before you have this conversation, you need to decide what you want and what you’re willing to deal with. Are you out if he doesn’t go to rehab? What if he denies it? Establish your boundaries and enforce them.

Kenleigh, I’m so shocked for you! I’m so sorry you found these texts and navigating this. May I ask how long have you been together? I’m sure you have so many questions for him. Before jumping to any conclusions, first you should find a time for you both to speak without any children around. You may want to take screenshots of the messages and write down all your questions so you do not get sidetracked when you speak.


I’m so sorry and let us know how you are doing ❤️

Wow! Just wow. My heart goes out to you sincerely. I can’t even imagine how shocked you must feel right now. First off, have you ever noticed any signs of him to be an addict ever? I understand there are children involved but I think that is all the more reason for the need to confront him about it. If he’s a prominent businessman these ppl that he’s dealing with could try to frame him for money to or ruin his reputation. This could destroy your life not only his. And it’s not going to get any easier once you’re married. Also addiction only gets worse. I would strongly strongly suggest before actually confronting him to tell at least one person that you trust the most. If you didn’t know about this then there may be other things you might not know about. I also don’t know this is out of line for me to say but you don’t know how he’s going to react once you confront him on this. You need to have at least one person that you trust the most know about this. I understand you said that he will most definitely get defensive, but has he ever showed signs of being threatening or getting physical with you? It also could be something that he keeps a secret because he might be ashamed of it. He may even deep down want to ask for your help but not know how. If you do approach him you should confront him in the most understanding and compassionate manner. Try not to accuse, simply just try to let him know that you love him and are concerned for his safety. If he gets aggressive or starts to get angry that is definitely a red flag. If he seems like he’s willing to talk about it then see how he feels about getting help if he feels he has an addiction. He may also just be so stressed out and not know how to handle it. Maybe a psychologist might be able to put him on some thing less addictive that will help him manage stress better. Good luck and please keep us updated!!

I’m so sorry. It sounds like he is a very high functioning drug addict. I’m familiar with opiates and what he’s taking and how he’s talking about sounds like this surely isn’t his first rodeo. To “try” with 5 is very telling. Also how he’s being instructed to ingest them for a better high.
You need to decide what your boundaries are. He’s been lying to you, even if only my omission, for a long time. Are you willing to leave if he denies and doesn’t seek help?
I would NOT mention the messages when you bring it up. You have to confront him head on to see his true initial reaction. You may want someone there with you. I’m so sorry. Decide what you want before the confrontation. Is it rehab? Is there anything? If he’s honest will that help? Call a drug counselor and seek their opinion.

Girl bye, Im Latin and Im just going to confront someone straight up. Men will give you the run around and flip it on you. So bring up what you saw, ask what this is about and go from there.Be direct, and don't worry to much about future plans until this is taken care of . I know you feel anxious and nervous but you need to be honest as he does too.