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Sarah S.
Dedicated October 2016

Formal Invitation Question

Sarah S., on August 8, 2016 at 1:56 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 24

So, maybe it's the feminist in me but I cannot in good conscience address an invite to a married couple as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith"..... Even if they have the same last name, why omit the wife's first name altogether? Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait to take my FH's last name, but I still have a...

So, maybe it's the feminist in me but I cannot in good conscience address an invite to a married couple as "Mr. and Mrs. John Smith"..... Even if they have the same last name, why omit the wife's first name altogether? Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait to take my FH's last name, but I still have a first and cringe at the thought of being referred to as Mrs. his first and last name. That's silly. I'm not an accessory.

So I ask you, are there any other socially acceptable alternatives for formal invites? Can I say "Mr. John & Mrs. Jane Smith" or "Mr & Mrs John and Jane Smith" ?

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24 Comments

  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Julia ·
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    Oooppppssss!!!!!

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  • J
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Julia ·
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    I was BUMMED out by this but, I had to learn the hard way, by the calligrapher. It is grammatically incorrect to write "Mr. and Mrs. John and Jane Doe" because apparently this implies that Jane is a third person (Mr. and Mrs. John being the first two). Its old school, I know, to write Mr. and Mrs. John Doe, otherwise, you can drop the titles: John and Jane Doe OR, it is very long but write out: Mr. John Doe and Mrs. Jane Doe. You can never separate titles from names. I don't know why you can't write Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Doe, other than, its a little awkward. She did not give it as an option.

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  • L
    Just Said Yes September 2019
    Lauren ·
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    Actually, the woman's name should technically be first. I've been addressing mine as, "Mrs. Jane & Mr. John Smith."

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  • Kim
    April 2020
    Kim ·
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    The man's first and last name are technically not supposed to be separated, so if you want to use the wife's name is should be

    Mrs. Jane and Mr. John Doe


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