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Just Said Yes October 2020

Formal Invitation addressing

ashczar, on December 26, 2019 at 8:31 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 11
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How would you address an envelope when the couple is married but I've never met the husband? She's my coworker and I honestly don't even know his name. People say it's acceptable to say "Mr. and Mrs. Jane Smith" these days but I worry about the credibility of my source. Thoughts?


Latest activity by Cristy, on December 27, 2019 at 12:07 PM
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
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    That is fine or you can just put Mr and Mrs Smith.

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You have 7-8 months before invitations go out, I would just ask your friend what her husband's name is in that timeframe.

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  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
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    Or you can just ask your coworker for her husband’s name.
    • Reply
  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I stalked a ton of my guests Facebook's or I went on the county appraisal district site and searched their address. Smiley xd Usually both names will pop up. Gotta do what ya gotta do!

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  • ashczar
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    ashczar ·
    • Flag
    Taylor that is a great idea! Thank you!

    I definitely can still ask his name, or stalk facebook LOL but I guess when it's written out Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and I've never met the man or actually know his name, it just seems odd to me to address the invitation like that, it looks like it's his invitation. I know its formal, but I've read so many blogs lately on the topic and a lot of them say many people are stepping away from the traditional formalities. I dont necessarily want to do that but I cant get over how weird it looks. Does that make sense? I guess I'm just wondering if anyone has ever addressed it as Mr. & Mrs. Jane Smith.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I’ve never heard of that being done, and I also think it is really outdated to use mr and Mrs John Smith too. I’d ask for his name anyway (because you should know it if he’s coming to your wedding) and address it either mr and Mrs smith or mr John and Mrs Jane Smith
    • Reply
  • Hannah
    Rockstar July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I agree with Gen. I hate the Mr. and Mrs. John Smith thing. I may have taken my husband's last name, but I didn't take his 1st name!
    • Reply
  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    You could do "Mr. and Mrs. Smith" or look on social media to see if their name is on there!

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  • I
    Devoted August 2021
    Ingrid ·
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    His name hasn't come up in conversations with your coworker? Ounds like it hasn't so just ask her. Nothing wrong with asking.
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  • Benya
    Dedicated June 2020
    Benya ·
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    Definitely ask for his name. I've always hated how the woman's name get hidden behind her husband's name. So on my invitations I use Mr. John and Mrs. Jane Smith
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    I have a couple of guests like this, where I know the wife, but have never met the husband. I just called my lady friends, and asked them for their husband's name. I told them I was addressing my invites the old-school way. They were both totally fine with that, and gave me the names. I expressed a bit of embarassment that I didn't know, but they were both really cool. They know I haven't met their husbands yet, so they weren't offended at all by my asking. Also, they both thought it was really cool that I'm addressing my envelopes this way, as it seems to be a lost/dying art of etiquette. Cool!

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