Forget Bridezilla, the new bad bride is a bridechilla!

I have never been a BM to a bridechilla. However, I don't know if I would even want to be.

I think the insight from the author quoted in the article that: "I work with a lot of women who have been overparented, whose mothers have been involved in every decision in their life: where they should go to college, what they should major in, where they should move, what kind of job they should have..." she said. "These women have very little confidence in their own choices." "In many cases, the desire to avoid judgment and criticism has many brides passing the decision-making onto their bridesmaids."

I've never dreamed of a wedding, never had a picture in my head of what my dress or wedding would look like - literally, I never thought about it. However, I think there is a happy medium when it comes to be relaxed and focused on what is important, and being too timid to have an opinion, or apathetic.

I told my BMs to pick whatever color dress they wanted, and to agree on short or long (they immediately chose short, so I didn't have to break the tie). But I chose the invitations, the wording, and STDs, and chose the table decor myself. I enlist their help to ensure I'm not forgetting anything - they've been married already, so they've gone through this and have great lessons learned - but I trust myself to know what I like.

You will never please everyone - it's physically impossible, people are too variable.

I do see an immense number of young women at my office who far from "leaning in", go out of their way to NOT have an opinion, and to NOT state what they want - either with their relationships, families, or jobs. So why is it any surprise they are unable to do so with their wedding planning?

This is a lesson to all of us, when it comes to children: from less supervised play, to refusing to intervene in petty disputes between siblings and playmates, to walking the fine line between advising a teen to telling them what to do every time they are confused, we need to raise more confident, resilient children, and they will become confident, resilient, adults, and hopefully just plain old 'brides', free of monikers....

TheAtlantic did a superlative article on "The Overprotected Kid" .... it's transfixing and a great example of how easy it is for us to lose sight of how far we've evolved - not always in a good way - in our view of what makes a good parent... http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/03/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/

@Rebecca I loved the article you posted. Particularly, "by overcoming fears, children achieve a measure of independence, and may inoculate themselves from adult phobias." A lot of the bridechilla problems cited in the OP's article stem from exactly what you said: many parenting strategies these days are setting our children up for co-dependence, a lack of confidence, and a constant need to be liked and praised.

I pride myself on being an in-between of chill and zill; I chose the color of my BM dresses, but let them go wild with their preferred necklines. I chose the location of our wedding and let my FH pick the venue. It's all about balance, as most things in life are.

The bridechilla reminds me of that friend you would have over to your house in gradeschool who couldn't make a decision on a damn juicebox. "We have fruit punch or kiwi strawberry, which one do you want?" "I don't care, you pick." Infuriating, even at 7.

I read that too! I think I am guilty but luckily my girls are pretty on point w their style they ended up coincidentally picking the same exact dress for themselves just different shades of purple and all have simple but elegant style so accessories, hair and makeup will be more or less similar.

I'm guilty I pretty much told my DJ to pick whatever processional he wanted, I told my photographer he could choose whatever uplighting he wanted, I told the florist I didn't care what color the candles were...Ah well.

I originally thought I was a "bridechilla" until I read the article. I know what I want and make the needed decisions but also don't feel the need to micromanage everything or control people. I have given my vendors guidelines but leave the final execution up to them. I believe that these people are professionals hire the best ones and let them do their job. I gave my bridesmaids a color to use and let them pick the dress and shoes. The person at the venue said I am easy going and organized. I took that as a compliment.

We were talking about this today. I told FH I would hate to be my own bridesmaid. I'm to chill.

I was MOH to a bride like this back in May. She fits Rebecca's quote exactly. I ended up choosing the maids, flower girls, and sister's dresses (requirements: blue. Maids matching) and hair (up. Maids matching).

This is probably an unpopular opinion.....But that's the game, right? If you have a strong opinion and a clear vision, you are accused of being overbearing and bitchy. If you really want others input and aren't bothered either way, you are unorganized and a pushover.

We just cant win. Why label each other?

So all of you knocking the bridechilla name have you ever listened to a podcast of bridechilla? Researched it yourself? Or did you really go by some lame bored insecure poster who has nothing better to do then bash others? How about making your own minds up by checking it out for yourselves and make up your own decisions...the poster of this could not be more wrong and being a bridechilla is not what she is describing. Be a leader not a follower...thats actually what bridechillas are about. Not giving a any care about the b.s. and standing up for what we want and not giving 2 cents about what anyone else thinks!

The original post and commenters are from 2014.

View Quoted Comment I saw the date. But I am new to wedding wire and added my take. There are lots of people who read reviews long after the date obviously. And many people use reviews to make decisions instead of verifying themselves. So now there's a positive honest review instead of a bunch of non-verified bologne