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K
Just Said Yes May 2015

Forcing Bridesmaid To use Hairdresser (venting)

Keli , on August 30, 2017 at 3:25 PM

Posted in Wedding Attire 43

So, Im now a bridesmaid and the bride recently sprung it on all of the bridesmaids (She told us Tuesday the wedding is Saturday) that we will be using her hairstylist and we have to pay for it. Originally she simply gave us a pic and said to get our hair done that way. Great I thought, I can do...

So, Im now a bridesmaid and the bride recently sprung it on all of the bridesmaids (She told us Tuesday the wedding is Saturday) that we will be using her hairstylist and we have to pay for it. Originally she simply gave us a pic and said to get our hair done that way. Great I thought, I can do that..I thought. When I told her that I already planned to do my hair myself (in the style she wants) she told me using her stylist was "not up for debate". It is an updo, a very simple updo. I do hair for family, friends, and highschool girls for prom and senior pics etc so I know I can do the style. I even did my own hair for my wedding!!

I offered to do a trial run and prove to her I could do it, but she is adamamt about me using this particular stylist. I have never let anyone but my mother (who completed cosmotology school) curl or put heat in my hair. I informed her of this and offered to do the curl prep for my own hair and let the stylist complete the chignon. She has not responded...

43 Comments

  • Maria
    Expert September 2017
    Maria ·
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    Hold up, she told you yesterday that the wedding is Saturday? As in, THIS Saturday? Am I reading this right?

    On top of that, screw that. I'd be telling her, "Well, unless if you plan on paying for the stylist to do my hair, I will be doing it myself." End of story. That's super rude.

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  • muriel
    Champion June 2018
    muriel ·
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    You are an ADULT!!! She can't force you to do anything. "I'll be doing my own hair thanks. Make sure you cancel my appointment."

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  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    Tell her if she wants it, she pays for it. Don't do it. Agreed with @Angie. Just show up with it done.

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  • OG Kathryn
    Champion May 2016
    OG Kathryn ·
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    If she shows up with it done i can just picture the post here after the wedding. I do think you should just do it and show up, let her know but then just drop it. Thats that.

    My inconsiderate BM showed up with her hair already dont when I made it VERY clear she was to use the one I chose. ugh, just had to vent.

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  • 033118
    Super March 2018
    033118 ·
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    Well it's up to debate. You get a say if you pay.... I would just follow up by thanking her for paying for your hair. And let her know if the expense is too much you are happy to fix your hair yourself.

    And then send a hang with a microphone emoji

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  • NewlyMrsLachney
    Master September 2017
    NewlyMrsLachney ·
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    So awful. Just...ugh.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes May 2015
    Keli ·
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    Thank you guys for the feedback!!

    • Reply
  • Constance
    VIP October 2017
    Constance ·
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    OP. You have to let us know how this shakes out!

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  • Jessica
    Expert August 2017
    Jessica ·
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    Jeez. She needs to stop.

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  • JJAF
    Super October 2019
    JJAF ·
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    I would say I'm sorry it's not in my budget. If bride is demanding it she has to pay for it

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  • Caitlin
    Savvy November 2018
    Caitlin ·
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    I'm with most of the other commenters here; if she wants you to use her stylist she needs to pay for it.

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  • Nicole
    Super November 2017
    Nicole ·
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    Oh hell no, she should pay for it!

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  • Andie
    Super August 2018
    Andie ·
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    Yes, please let us know how this works out! I agree with everything PP have said!

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  • R
    Beginner October 2018
    Rebeca ·
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    I would have to agree with everyone saying she would have to pay for it. I believe she should have said something with plenty of time in ADVANCE, that she wants a certain style done, but by her hairdresser. I would just do it myself and if she doesn't like it, then oh well.

    No one can force you to do something you don't want to do!

    I understand that it's her day and she wants everything and everyone to be perfect, but she has to be at least a little bit understanding to certain things. Best of luck!

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  • Allie
    Devoted July 2019
    Allie ·
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    @angie- great idea.

    OP: do that!

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  • AJ
    Expert July 2018
    AJ ·
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    I'm petty but I would just send her the link to this thread

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  • Bre & Daniels new adventure
    Dedicated December 2017
    Bre & Daniels new adventure ·
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    Wow I'm a hair dresser getting married in December this year and that's crap! If u can do it ur self and feel better doing it ur self u wouldn't hurt my feelings at all. I would honstley be excited to see what u could do... but on the same note she might have already paid the deposit for ur hair to get done, but still she needs to give a little

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  • K
    Just Said Yes May 2015
    Keli ·
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    Update: I did my own hair! It came out beautiful. She changed the style the day of, but I brought all of my styling tools so I was able to adjust too ;-)

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  • Allison
    Expert October 2018
    Allison ·
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    I think because the dresses can be used again or resold, where as you can sell hair and make up.

    I'm considering covering my girls hair and makeup, it's not required but they all want it, except one is only getting hait (she's 12). This was provoked by a $200 quote for one. Yikes! Another was $80 and I relaxed lol


    How much is this required service, OP?.
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  • Allison
    Expert October 2018
    Allison ·
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    Sorry I didn't read until the end.

    Glad it worked out!
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