For those that have been to Black Tie weddings

We were invited to two "black tie" weddings before our wedding. From what several other invitees were telling us, the couple was very serious about the reception being black tie. However, I am not going to go out and spend $$ on a formal gown. The first one was in August. DH wore a black suit 3-piece suit (vest) white shirt and a black tie. I wore black sleeveless jumpsuit. And yes, we were hot. The second one was in February the following year. DH wore the same black suit but without a tie. I wore a mid-calf length red and black dress.

I say find your best dress already in your closet and pair it with a nice heel and jewelry.

We went to a formal wedding and I rented a dress from renttherunway.com

You can get a formal dress from amazon for like 30 or 40 bucks.

Plan to wear "black tie". Honestly you don't want to be the person out of place wearing a cocktail dress or something not appropriate for the dress code. Check out Rent the Runway as a PP suggested... they have an entire category for black tie weddings, and they aren't expensive to rent.

We’re going to a black tie wedding next weekend. I’m wearing an evening gown and FH is wearing a dinner jacket. I got my dress on clearance at Nordstrom for less than $100. This is the third time I’ve worn it so I feel like it was a sound investment. If he didn’t already own a formalwear, he’d just wear a suit.

I’ve been to two, both very recently. One was not necessarily black tie IMO, as they had a buffet dinner and it was only beer and wine bar. That one also only had maybe 3/4 of the guests dressed in black tie, although most that weren’t dressed black tie were children.

The other one was hosted appropriately as black tie, in a fancier venue that also would urge guests to dress more formally. I didn’t notice anyone not dressed black tie.

The last black tie wedding we went to, we dressed in black tie attire ( I was able to get my dress for about $100 at Belk). While there were people there who were dressed more casually, they were in the minority.

The question really becomes: will you be comfortable if everyone else is in strict black tie and you are not? If you will be okay, then wear something slightly under black tie (though obviously not too casual).

We’ve been to a few black tie weddings. I’ve never seen a woman in a cocktail dress at any of them. All were in long dresses/gowns. All the men wore black suits (none of our social circle really owns tuxes), white shirts, dark/black ties. I would rather be over dressed compared to everyone than under dressed and sticking out.

We had "Formal/ Black Tie Optional" because of this issue specifically. And we still had a bunch of people that weren't close to being formal... we had some people without even a jacket or tie... girls in short dresses and maxi dresses.

People are going to wear what they want. And if you force them to wear something that will possibly cost a lot of money, you're going to have a lot of push back and hurt feelings...

I would recommend looking on Amazon. They have some pretty cute long evening dresses that aren't very expensive. If it says black tie, I wouldn't show up in anything less.

Are knee length dresses technically not considered appropriate? The dress I was thinking was black, heavier material, with jewels/embellishments. I actually think its fancier than some of the longer bridesmaid dresses I have worn. I guess I am so thrown off because most of the articles I have been reading say shorter dresses can be ok, but most people sound like that is not ok!

I've only been to one. My fiance work a suit & I wore a long dress. I know he should have worn a tux, but lots of men wore suits with sport jackets.

View Quoted Comment This is a GREAT idea if I ever need it. 💗

Wear a long beautiful dress! I can't imagine going to a wedding and not dressing as fancy as possible! Renttherunway has great options for cheap if pricing is the problem.

View Quoted Comment If you feel fancy in this dress, then it’s fine.

Actual black time, no shorter dresses, and no suits. At black tie optional, a semi-formal dress code allowing tuxes in formal colors ( black, grey, midnight blue, navy, and white in tropical climates >>>no colored tuxes not in formal colors) or dressy suits and women in long gowns of cocktail length dressy, are okay. Usually, guests do wear black tie if listed, black tie. Semi-formal if " black tie optional. But in the last few years I have heard a lot of angry comments from guests who dress in the most formal day tuxes ( strollers and cutaways) or evening black tie, as requests, only to find that after going to all that expense, only the bride's gown is formal, or nit even that is. The groom us in a red or purple or other non-formal color. The groomsmen are wearing tux jackets with cummerbunds or vests to match " wedding colors " or bridesmaids dresses, and also using colored ties and pocket squares. And often groom, groomsmen, and FOB are wearing black evening formal wear in the daytime, nit day formal wear. So they ask guests to go formal, then dress in not formal clothes at all. It ticks people off. People also object, loud and clear, to wearing black tie as guests, to what turns out to be an informal dinner service, cash bar, open unassigned seating, and a theme and decorations that are totally casual. Asking people to wear black tie, then decorating in the theme of a baseball game, winery, or Star Wars or Beauty in the Beast, makes people feel you took advantage of them to get dressed up people in your pictures, when there is nothing formal in any way about the wedding. Brides in satin or lace, with a slit up to the thigh of their long gown , are not formally dressed. Guys in outfits coordinated with dress and decor colors, are not in formal dress. Couples are free to have the wedding they want, as regards style, or their own dress. But should never specifically ask for formal dress when the bridal party, service, or setting, are not formal, or are club and Vegas dress, nit formal at all, though tuxes and long dresses are worn. One of the partner's sons in my husband's company sent fancy engraved invitations, put "Black tie" on them. And meal choices. Turns out the meal choices beef/ chicken/ seafood were to judge general amout if food. To was standing cocktail ta les in one room, and food stations of fried foods or barbecue throughout, with self service, and a table setup of long trestle tables pushed together, with 30-36 folding chairs on each side. Beach sand on the floor, 2 cash bars, and the bride dressed as Cinderella was dressed in a blue ballgown, groom in a fake costume red uniform, as were groomsmen. None of wedding party in formal wear, as even bridal gown ballgown was draped with ropes if rhinestone crystals and fake diamonds. And people openly said, we had to wear formal evening attire to a beach barbeque and clambake masquerade party, with service no better than food booths on a beach? And the couple responded to questions like, why did you say formal dress, when it is clearly out of place? By showing their complete ignorance that because bride wore a glitzy ballgown, that did not make it in any way a formal wedding. People mostly try to observe black tie or black tie optional. But hosts are terribly haphazzard about providing a formal wedding, or themselves observing their own dress code. The last 5 formal wedings we have gone to this year, only 2 were formal setting, and dinner service, and only in one did the couple, wedding party, or FOB wear the same formality as their guests. How embarrassing...for the woefully ignorant hosts. Okay to dress as you wish. But do not tell guests to dress more formally than the bride, groom, and wedding party. Or serve people in black tie optional, tuxes or suit, cocktail dresses or gowns, from food trucks or grills and call it a formal party.

I think its not just about the cost (which is a major concern as I am already shelling out money to travel), its just that I know I am comfortable in the shorter dress (I have a weirder body shape so I am often in between sizes and have to try on 50 dresses to find a good one!) Renttherunway also seems like a PIA. We are traveling to the wedding so even returning attire is a pain. I am leaning towards wearing the fanciest thing I have (which is my short dress), mostly because guidelines mentioned a fancy cocktail dress is acceptable. I just wanted to see what people have worn or seen at other black tie wedding. Sidenote: I noticed one of the things a black tie wedding should include is "valet" parking, and I know for a fact that they are not providing that (offering parking and uber suggestions on their site). Wondering if this is one of those really black tie weddings.

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If you are already looking down on their hosting, or making fun of them for their lack of knowledge about what is really black tie, I would suggest you stay home. It is far more rude to partake of anyone's hospitality, and then make fun of it than to not meet black tie standards.

I went to one a few weeks ago. I'd say about 90%. I had to wear a knee-length dress but I put a lot of jewelry and layers on it. For the women it seemed no one cared what we wore, but people did notice the few men without tuxes.