For family or for you?

I definitely did both. there were things that our parents wanted and i wasn't planning on those things but ended up accommodating because it wasn't much trouble to.

We did 100% what we wanted

It was my second wedding and his first and we did 100% what we wanted, but we also paid for %100 of it. If people are contributing then it makes it a bit more difficult

We're doing what we want. It's our day and we're paying for it. Simple as that. We don't feel obligated to please anyone but ourselves. Now if either of you have parents or other family that is helping with the cost, they may feel like they have a say so in some things. But I still fell like it should always be what the bride and groom wants.

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Thank you... Like how made could they really get right.

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Thank you....

Its also my second and his first and we are paying 100% for it all.

Did you feel bad about making a big deal the second time around ?

What we wanted.
We talked things over with my parents and theycame to the venue tours and caterer tasting as they paid for those. But pretty much we (I) planned what we (I) wanted.
(My husband didn’t care, lol)

You do what you want since you're paying for it but you also keep their comfort in mind at the same time.

When I first started planning I was just trying to please everyone and reach their expectations. Then a month or so later I realized it didn't feel like I was planning MY wedding! Now my wedding is planned 100% to fit my FH and I.

View Quoted Comment No because it’s what he wanted. We only had 52 people and we did a destination wedding with mostly friends and a few family.

Both. Having the location be in my hometown in a state that neither my parents nor I live in was all for them. But everything else is what my FH and I want. And yes, that's even with both our families giving us cash for the wedding. If they were going to force us to do things just because they're contributing, we would've never accepted the money.


Now that we've postponed and decided to get legally married now, still both. 🤣 We're driving to the state my parents live in since we don't want to risk their health. (They insist on seeing us get married in person even if we went to the courthouse.) We're getting married at a place that holds 200 people with only 7 guests so households can really social distance. Aside from the state we'll be in, everything is what we want. We're paying for the elopement ourselves.

We did absolutely what we wanted with knowing what our families loved.

We eloped so that it could be everything WE wanted, and it was wonderful. I was a people pleaser in my first marriage and will never do that again. Lol.

It’s completely OUR wedding. The only compromise we made was moving the wedding from Maine to the Keys. And while I complained at first, I have no regrets about our decision. Everything else is exactly how we envisioned and are planning.

We are doing what WE want and decided if anyone has a problem with it then that’s their problem and we shouldn’t have to worry about it. I find it goes smoother to do what we want.

There’s a little bit of both going on for me. I will say that I’m fairly close with my immediate family. Like my mom and I have similar ideas and views. She hasn’t argued with me about anything I’ve wanted for the wedding yet, so maybe I’ve just had it easier. I will say that she probably influenced me to have the guest list size that I do have. My dad didn’t want guests at theirs but she had wanted to invite her whole church. They were married in the middle of the week with only 20 or so family members with a reception of more at her parents house. I’ve heard this story a lot and while I’m not giving an open invitation to our church, our list quickly grew to about 140, and these are mostly my people.

I guess a bit of both? Everyone has been telling us to do what we want since it's our day and while some details have been about what we want, we also wanted to be sure our families/guests will be comfortable, but ultimately everything has been our decision.

We did 100% what we wanted. Thankfully, our parents were, for the most part, supportive.

I was fully prepared to not give a flying frack if other people disagreed with what we were doing. (Which my mother ended up doing, and then decided not to come, because she didn't like the invites. ...You can see why I was prepared to not care.)

Your wedding is a celebration of your love, and the starting of a new life together. You should only please other people to the extent that you wish to *continue* to please other people. Whatever boundaries you set for the wedding day are the boundaries people will expect for the rest of your life.

We’re doing what we want. The only parent giving input is my mother, and she’s just happy we’re having one. She’s super supportive of whatever we choose to do since it’s our day.


There’s a major difference between a food truck and a plated dinner. That’s not a small compromise and would completely change the vibe and style of the wedding. Do what you want to do!

So I agree that it's your wedding and it should be what you and your FH wants. My wedding is totally what I want even with his mom funding 1/3 of the cost now. ( this was not planned she just recently offered the funds we were already planning to pay balance 2 days later.)

But if it's a small compromise I would do. like table seating or adding someone to speech list, nothing major. I say your example is major though. Food Truck vs. sit down is two different party atmosphere. They are not the same at all and a buffet is another vibe.