Stephanie
Just Said Yes September 2021

For family or for you?

Stephanie, on June 25, 2020 at 3:12 PM Posted in Planning 0 24
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So you put all this time and energy and money into planning this one day. Smiley heart

Are you planning on what you both (as the couple) want or what you know your family would not complain about?

For example : BBQ from a food truck or a buffet instead of sit down platted dinner.


24 Comments

Latest activity by Jacquelene, on June 28, 2020 at 10:48 AM
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I definitely did both. there were things that our parents wanted and i wasn't planning on those things but ended up accommodating because it wasn't much trouble to.

    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    We did 100% what we wanted
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    It was my second wedding and his first and we did 100% what we wanted, but we also paid for %100 of it. If people are contributing then it makes it a bit more difficult
    • Reply
  • Sinaya
    Devoted August 2022
    Sinaya ·
    • Flag

    We're doing what we want. It's our day and we're paying for it. Simple as that. We don't feel obligated to please anyone but ourselves. Now if either of you have parents or other family that is helping with the cost, they may feel like they have a say so in some things. But I still fell like it should always be what the bride and groom wants.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Stephanie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you... Like how made could they really get right.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Stephanie ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    Thank you....

    Its also my second and his first and we are paying 100% for it all.

    Did you feel bad about making a big deal the second time around ?

    • Reply
  • C
    Master January 2019
    Cassidy ·
    • Flag
    What we wanted.
    We talked things over with my parents and theycame to the venue tours and caterer tasting as they paid for those. But pretty much we (I) planned what we (I) wanted.
    (My husband didn’t care, lol)
    • Reply
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag
    You do what you want since you're paying for it but you also keep their comfort in mind at the same time.
    • Reply
  • Molly
    VIP September 2020
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    When I first started planning I was just trying to please everyone and reach their expectations. Then a month or so later I realized it didn't feel like I was planning MY wedding! Now my wedding is planned 100% to fit my FH and I.

    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    No because it’s what he wanted. We only had 52 people and we did a destination wedding with mostly friends and a few family.
    • Reply
  • Jeni
    Devoted July 2021
    Jeni ·
    • Flag
    Both. Having the location be in my hometown in a state that neither my parents nor I live in was all for them. But everything else is what my FH and I want. And yes, that's even with both our families giving us cash for the wedding. If they were going to force us to do things just because they're contributing, we would've never accepted the money.


    Now that we've postponed and decided to get legally married now, still both. 🤣 We're driving to the state my parents live in since we don't want to risk their health. (They insist on seeing us get married in person even if we went to the courthouse.) We're getting married at a place that holds 200 people with only 7 guests so households can really social distance. Aside from the state we'll be in, everything is what we want. We're paying for the elopement ourselves.
    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    We did absolutely what we wanted with knowing what our families loved.
    • Reply
  • Breann
    Devoted June 2020
    Breann ·
    • Flag

    We eloped so that it could be everything WE wanted, and it was wonderful. I was a people pleaser in my first marriage and will never do that again. Lol.

    • Reply
  • Margaret
    Master October 2020
    Margaret ·
    • Flag
    It’s completely OUR wedding. The only compromise we made was moving the wedding from Maine to the Keys. And while I complained at first, I have no regrets about our decision. Everything else is exactly how we envisioned and are planning.
    • Reply
  • Addi
    Savvy October 2021
    Addi ·
    • Flag
    We are doing what WE want and decided if anyone has a problem with it then that’s their problem and we shouldn’t have to worry about it. I find it goes smoother to do what we want.
    • Reply
  • Anna
    VIP October 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    There’s a little bit of both going on for me. I will say that I’m fairly close with my immediate family. Like my mom and I have similar ideas and views. She hasn’t argued with me about anything I’ve wanted for the wedding yet, so maybe I’ve just had it easier. I will say that she probably influenced me to have the guest list size that I do have. My dad didn’t want guests at theirs but she had wanted to invite her whole church. They were married in the middle of the week with only 20 or so family members with a reception of more at her parents house. I’ve heard this story a lot and while I’m not giving an open invitation to our church, our list quickly grew to about 140, and these are mostly my people.
    • Reply
  • Laquita
    Expert July 2021
    Laquita ·
    • Flag

    I guess a bit of both? Everyone has been telling us to do what we want since it's our day and while some details have been about what we want, we also wanted to be sure our families/guests will be comfortable, but ultimately everything has been our decision.

    • Reply
  • Rebecca
    Master August 2019
    Rebecca ·
    • Flag

    We did 100% what we wanted. Thankfully, our parents were, for the most part, supportive.

    I was fully prepared to not give a flying frack if other people disagreed with what we were doing. (Which my mother ended up doing, and then decided not to come, because she didn't like the invites. ...You can see why I was prepared to not care.)

    Your wedding is a celebration of your love, and the starting of a new life together. You should only please other people to the extent that you wish to *continue* to please other people. Whatever boundaries you set for the wedding day are the boundaries people will expect for the rest of your life.

    • Reply
  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    We’re doing what we want. The only parent giving input is my mother, and she’s just happy we’re having one. She’s super supportive of whatever we choose to do since it’s our day.


    There’s a major difference between a food truck and a plated dinner. That’s not a small compromise and would completely change the vibe and style of the wedding. Do what you want to do!
    • Reply
  • Naikesha
    Super September 2020
    Naikesha ·
    • Flag

    So I agree that it's your wedding and it should be what you and your FH wants. My wedding is totally what I want even with his mom funding 1/3 of the cost now. ( this was not planned she just recently offered the funds we were already planning to pay balance 2 days later.)

    But if it's a small compromise I would do. like table seating or adding someone to speech list, nothing major. I say your example is major though. Food Truck vs. sit down is two different party atmosphere. They are not the same at all and a buffet is another vibe.

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