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Connor
Just Said Yes October 2020

Food Situation

Connor, on October 17, 2018 at 1:38 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 48

We are thinking of asking our families to bring a covered dish to the wedding instead of a gift/present. That way we do not have to spend a fortune on food and we won't have the worry of what food to have and from where. What do you think?

48 Comments

Latest activity by Chrissy, on October 17, 2018 at 10:16 PM
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    I would avoid this by all means possible. Guests shouldn't be in charge of bringing food or liquor, they aren't caterers or bartenders. Some other options are to have a cake & punch reception, so you avoid having to serve a meal at all because it's not during traditional meal times. I'd look at cheaper caterers like BBQ, you can do this for around $10 per person. Or limit your guest list so you can afford food. If I was asked to bring food for a wedding, I wouldn't go. It's too stressful to think of what you should bring, keeping the food at a safe temperature and ensuring everything is 100% cooked, dealing with food allergies, how to transport & store the food during the ceremony, how to serve the food, etc. Especially for out of town guests, they aren't going to cook in their hotel or bring food several hours.

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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I personally wouldn't eat. You never know the cleanliness of how someone else cooks or of the food is kept at a safe temperature. People hire professionals for a reason.
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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    I wouldn’t eat. I don’t do potlucks and would be concerned about getting food poisoning. Find a BBQ, Italian or Mexican restaurant to cater.
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly ·
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    I agree with everyone else. Look into bbq or Italian or cut your guest list.
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  • P
    Just Said Yes October 2018
    Pretty Much an Owl ·
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    Absolutely great idea! FH and I are doing a "potluck" reception for our day (this saturday!) because a friend of ours did it, and it turned out so nicely! We are supplying the main dish (chicken BBQ) and asked people to bring the sides. There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with this, and I've heard no complaints from our guests. Some did opt to purchase us gift cards. Honestly, it's YOUR day, and if someone else who doesn't have to pay the $30 a head for catering complains, that's their fault. It's your wedding, not theirs. I've noticed a lot of people here really talk down over potluck weddings, but not every bride has a 20K budget... I only had 6 months and 4k to spend on this wedding, I'm not taking out a loan to make everyone else feel good :p

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  • MaryEllen
    Expert October 2016
    MaryEllen ·
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    I would not eat and would probably leave early.
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  • Kristen
    VIP August 2018
    Kristen ·
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    Whenever I throw a party I never ask people to bring anything so I personally would stay away from doing this for a wedding in particular. I just don't want people to have to do anything at all except show up and have fun.

    That being said, everybody's tastes and weddings are different and if you are throwing a more causal wedding then this idea could definitely work.

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  • MD
    Super July 2019
    MD ·
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    I'm a little bit of a germophobe so I've never been a fan of pot-lucks, and I definitely wouldn't want one at a wedding. The whole idea behind the reception is that you are throwing a party for your guests who attended your wedding, so you wouldn't want to require them to bring food. I've also heard about how many people don't bring gifts to weddings (which is fine, they're not required), so I'd be worried that some people would show up with no food, and then there wouldn't be enough to feed everybody.

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  • A
    Super February 2019
    Amy ·
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    Allergies are another concern. I don't know how you'd make sure food was safe for anyone with food allergies without professional prep!
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  • SB
    VIP March 2019
    SB ·
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    Definitely hire a professional caterer. Allergies, contamination, etc. It's really a disaster waiting to happen. Not all catering has to be 5 star and through the roof. We're paying a total of 2,000 for 250 people for BBQ. I would definitely look into BBQ, Italian or Mexican for cheaper options instead of doing a potluck.

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  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    Question for you... what happens when people agree to bring food then forget? Or change their mind? or only bring enough for 10 people? Cuz then you’d have no food, and guests will either be trashed or leave early
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  • AF412
    Devoted March 2019
    AF412 ·
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    This is just a bad idea for so many reasons, many which have already been stated.


    Where is your reception? Are you sure the venue even allows this? Would you plan on having some sort of insurance?
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  • Denise
    Devoted May 2019
    Denise ·
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    I think the only time this works is for a super casual family only picnic in a backyard kind of thing.
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  • PurdyAikey
    Super January 2019
    PurdyAikey ·
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    Hi Connor,

    Welcome to WW. When I first started I thought the responses to my questions were harsh, so don't let this thread get you down if this is something you truly want to do. You know you guest well enough to know whether or not this is doable. The big things I would absolutely consider are 1) Are the guests local (what about non-local guests) 2) Is this allowed at the venue and 3) how do you ensure you get enough to feed your guests and not just boxes of sugar cookies and pasta salad. (I know you said covered dish, but sometimes) 4) Is there some way I can do affordable food that is less stressful!

    When I first started planning, I had all these ideas about things I would do my self or ways to save money. When I started looking at things in "cost of stress" vs actual cost, a lot of things were worth having a professional do! Just some things to think about.

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  • Courtney
    Super September 2019
    Courtney ·
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    I know if my SO were invited he’d probably wouldn’t eat most things because he has severe food allergies and doesn’t trust home cooking. People forget what’s in things and aren’t always informed of ingredients in shop bought items used in recipes. It’s a good idea in theory but food needs to be handled so carefully. Everything has to be kept hot or cold and no one wants to keep track of every ingredient in every dish. I would just try and find a cost effective caterer (BBQ or Italian). Let someone else worry about those details and enjoy the day, even if it costs a bit more!
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  • BohoRN2017
    Expert November 2017
    BohoRN2017 ·
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    This just sounds like a PITA for guests. So not only do I have to deal with getting ready, which is more time for a wedding compared to a regular work day, I now have to deal with preparing a dish. Then deal with keeping it the appropriate temp including during the ceremony. When dropping it off the the reception do I need to warm-up it up? Just drop it off and someone handles?

    And you still have to manage who brings what to some extent. You need to ensure there is appropriate amount of entrees vs side dishes.

    BBQ and Italian can certainly be very reasonably costs. If budget is a concerned I can think of MANY other areas to cut before food. IMO too many brides waste money on frivolous decor items or junk like bridemaids "proposals". Food is essential, DYI centerpieces are not.

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  • Annette
    Just Said Yes November 2018
    Annette ·
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    Depending on size and how close the guests are to you would all be factors. It is hard to cater for everyone and caterers are pros at it. They can cater for allergies.

    Do make sure to check when your venue if you can do this because they may want you to have special insurance in case people get sick or someone gets burned etc.

    Weight the savings verses the stress or coordinating and stress of if people will actually bring the dishes. Cut back on other things, like don’t buy favors, or something. Food is something everyone remembers
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  • MrsBlah
    Devoted September 2016
    MrsBlah ·
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    If she doesn't want to pay for food, do you honestly think she plans to serve (and pay) for alcohol?

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  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
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    No I don’t, but one can always hope lol

    thats also why I said leave early
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  • c
    Super May 2019
    c ·
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    That's a hard no for me. Agree with PPs that you don't know the cleanliness of the person cooking or if they even cooked it enough to avoid issues.

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