Cassie
Just Said Yes June 2020

Fmil got her dress without me

Cassie , on October 23, 2019 at 4:29 PM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 26
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Am I overreacting? Me and my fiancé’s mom are super close and I wanted to pick out the dress she’s wearing with her. She took my future brother in laws girlfriend with instead and found one. I like the dress but I’m just so frustrated that they got to go pick out the dress without me? She didn’t let me know until a week before and I already had picked up work hours and she insisted I take off which I couldn’t. She said she was going herself just to look and ended up going with my fbil girlfriend after her plans got cancelled. I had told her before that I wanted to take her to that same town and find a dress and she said it was too far away and we’d see.

26 Comments

Latest activity by Desiree, on October 27, 2019 at 6:56 PM
  • Amber
    Master February 2020
    Amber ·
    • Flag

    I don't think it's that big of a deal, or at least not worth holding a grudge over. It sounds like she did want you to go with her, your schedules just didn't line up. I'm sure she only took FBIL's girlfriend so that she could have a second opinion, I wouldn't take it personally. My FMIL has shown me photos for my approval of outfits she's considered, but hasn't asked for us to go look for something together. I understand being upset, but I would let this one go Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I don’t see the big deal. Do you expect to go shopping with all of your guests for their outfits?
    • Reply
  • Megan
    Super October 2020
    Megan ·
    • Flag
    I’d let this one go. I totally understand that you wanted to have a nice dress shopping trip and it sucks that your schedules couldn’t align and that she found a dress when you weren’t there, but on the bright side, at least you like it! I was also looking forward to dress shopping with my FMIL but she ended up ordering a dress online, so I feel ya.
    • Reply
  • Chloe
    Devoted October 2020
    Chloe ·
    • Flag
    Don’t think too much into it, I don’t believe there was any ill intent behind her bringing your fbil girlfriend. Seems like you thought it would be fun and a special moment but the wedding/marriage is still to come and im sure you both will have amazing moments together!!
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think that’s a big deal, my own mom ended up picking her dress without me because she was just at the store and happened to see something she loved and it was the only one in stock 🤷🏻‍♀️ Honestly I would’ve been more than happy to go with her if she wanted, but was also thrilled to have one less wedding errand to do lol
    • Reply
  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
    • Flag

    Let this one go. It would have been nice if you could have gone with her, but your schedules didn't line up.

    Don't you have more important things to worry about just now? It is disappointing, I'm sure. But if you like the dress she picked, and it's done, then let it go!!

    • Reply
  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
    • Flag

    It sounds like she just went when she had time, and did invite you but you just couldn't go? I wasn't with my own mother, my mother in law or my step mother in law when they got their dresses. I doubt she thinks it's a big deal, I wouldn't.

    • Reply
  • Emly
    Expert June 2020
    Emly ·
    • Flag

    I can see where you're coming from on this. I was looking forward to going with my FMIL because shes just fun to be around and we always have a good time. She with without me and i was really bummed about it. No i don't "expect to go shopping with all my other guests outfits" but I thought my FMIL were close enough where she would have wanted me to be there. My mom and I are not close and I know she wont take me dress shopping for her so that's why i was looking forward to it.

    I'm over it now and there's no use in being upset about it any longer but i just wanted to reach out in saying you're not alone for feeling this way.

    • Reply
  • Sexypoodle
    Master October 2021
    Sexypoodle ·
    • Flag
    Yes you’re fully overreacting. Additionally you just said that you like the dress. Sooooo..... 🤷🏽‍♀️
    • Reply
  • Mcskipper
    Master July 2018
    Mcskipper ·
    • Flag
    This is a strange thing to be upset about— not that you’re not justified in your feelings, but rather that there’s no norm or expectations that a bride will shop for the MOG dress (nor even the MOB dress for that matter)— so she probably had NO idea that this was important to you. Even though you offered to go, she probably presumed you were just being sweet and also didn’t want to use up too much of your time. This is NOT personal, please don’t take it that way!
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated October 2019
    Katherine ·
    • Flag
    So... she did invite you, but you couldn’t make it? You didn’t rearrange your schedule to mAke it happen but you expected her to?

    You are going to be her daughter in law surely there will be other opportunities to go shopping together. Don’t begrudge her this experience or moment.
    • Reply
  • Cindy
    Beginner September 2021
    Cindy ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think it’s a big deal. I don’t believe there was any bad intent to leave you out. It just happened like that. Plus I’m sure you have bigger things to stress out about for your big day!
    • Reply
  • Brandi
    Devoted July 2020
    Brandi ·
    • Flag
    Eh. I wouldn’t think too much about it. My FMIL asked me to have total control over the dress. I just want her to pick a dress that matches our colors and she’s comfortable with. Apparently, your schedules couldn’t match up and she probably chose FBIL GF because of availability and also a chance to bond with her. I wouldn’t think too much about it. At least you like her dress.
    • Reply
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
    • Flag
    Let it go. You like the dress and she did invite you but you couldn’t go. It’s not worth it.
    • Reply
  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    This is not a big deal

    • Reply
  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
    • Flag

    I would try to let it go, but I can see why you're hurt. However, your FMIL is an adult who can make her own decisions, so I wouldn't press the issue further. If you really feel this will create tension or even resentment, definitely be honest to FMIL how your feelings were hurt!

    • Reply
  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    I wouldnt give it another thought honestly. We told the parents pick what they want, we just wanted people to be there and be comfy.
    • Reply
  • Beth
    Dedicated October 2020
    Beth ·
    • Flag
    When my fiancé’s sister got married (4 years ago- woah!) their mom took me shopping for her and myself. She wanted me to be included and involved in some way and she wanted me to feel part of the family. It was a kind gesture that she didn’t even bring up with the bride until it came up naturally.


    flash forward to this year- I picked out and ordered by dress without anyone with me. Our moms and sister were bummed to have missed that, until I explained my reasoning. We had a special showing of it when it arrived- it was a fun “fashion show” to have the moment when we were able too.
    • Reply
  • Sharon
    Super September 2021
    Sharon ·
    • Flag
    I totally understand where you're coming from. It would have been a nice bonding experience. Parents of the bride and groom aren't just guests and you want to have wedding experiences and memories with them. It doesn't sound like she didn't want you there. You have a good relationship with her so you'll have other wedding experiences with her. Try not to let it get to you.
    • Reply
  • Ann
    Devoted September 2021
    Ann ·
    • Flag
    You have a right to be upset, you wanted to experience that with her! If it’s weighing on you that much tell her you wish that you would have been there and you felt left out.. otherwise if you don’t wanna do that you might just have to forget about it.
    • Reply

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