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Dedicated August 2019

fmil Game Playing?

Blag, on July 24, 2019 at 6:09 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 26
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Hi

i got a request from fiancé the other day that I please call his mom because she has questions about something. I thought it was strange because I didn’t understand why she was wanting me to call and why she couldn’t just call me to ask her questions. I texted her saying hey ****** said you have questions. You’re more than welcome to give me a call. Then she responded saying she’d welcome my call. I then repeated myself saying she could give me a call yesterday anytime or whenever really. She never responded. Then I hear her complaints from my fiancé that she thinks I should call and I’m just like what in the world is this a game. Logically it doesn’t make sense. This isn’t the first time of her little game playing and drama filled imagination. I thought before I put the end of her drama as I told her it was basically too much (it was extremely bad before) and that I wasn’t going to be playing her games and putting up with it. She cursed out my mom before for no good reason, tends to twist things, lie and manipulate. I’m so tired of it. I feel kinda dumb that I even reached out to her because I should have put my foot down and drew the line. I dunno if it makes sense but this whole thing could have been easy but she wants to make it difficult. If someone has questions why don’t they just reach out to the person it’s so freakin easy!

26 Comments

Latest activity by Blag, on July 29, 2019 at 1:51 PM
  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    Why can’t your FH just answer questions about his own wedding and cut out the middle man?
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    Agreed... apparently she wants to only hear the answers from me. So I’m like ...okay then ask me
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I don't get why you didn't just call her when your fiance mentioned it. Seems like you're playing games too...
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    Stop playing her silly game! FH is an adult who can answer questions about your wedding

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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    I agree...
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    Nah lol I’m just logical.
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  • LB
    Champion November 2016
    LB ·
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    I'm married. It's not uncommon for my MIL to say to my H " Hey I have a question for W, can you have her gimme a call when you get a chance?" I honestly dont get the big deal unless there is something deeper going on. Going back and forth with her in text just seems like you're trying to prove an unnecessary point (especially if you've had communication issues in the past).
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I would let your FH handle it with his mother.
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    Yeah I agree
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    I agree with this. FH’s parents have passed but he’s super close to his aunt. Whenever she’s wanting to set something up with all of us she’ll mention to him “just have Sarah give me a call so we can set a time” and then I call her.
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  • Megan
    VIP January 2019
    Megan ·
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    This was my exact thought... maybe MIL is being petty but OP should’ve just called.
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  • F
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
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    This. Just call her. You are feeding into her games by texting and going back and forth. I call/text my FMIL sometimes, but if she needs something she generally reaches out to FH first, who then talks to me.
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  • Destiny
    VIP May 2020
    Destiny ·
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    I personally prefer texts cuz then i can go back and reread if something gets messed up. its why i only communicate with my vendors over email n text. n my family does the same i wont call you but i expect you to call me all the time and when i dont she questions if its really me texting her lol

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  • Heather
    Expert October 2019
    Heather ·
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    Exactly this. You’re playing games as well, it seem, from reading your post. The first thought that went through my mind was why didn’t you just call? Mothers speak to their children more often then their spouses, so they figure while they’re on the phone with them they’ll just ask to have the spouse call when they get a chance. It’s not rude, and it’s not unusual. She did nothing wrong in this particular scenario.
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  • L
    Lady ·
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    Yeah, you're exacerbating the issue by refusing to call and sending that pretty passive-aggressive text. If you dont' want to engage, don't. But don't half-ass it like that because you're just giving her fuel for the fire.

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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    This is kinda weird. I mean, if my FMIL has a question for me, she might mention it to FH if I'm not around, but ultimately, she'll call me or text me herself. No games. Just, I have a question.........ok shoot.

    Why do people have to be so manipulative???? It's just a waste of everyone's time.

    OP, I totally understand you wanting to avoid this kind of drama as much as possible. But the next time this happens, just call the woman! If she's really this dramatic and manipulative, you sending her a text telling her to call you is just what she's waiting for, so she can continue the drama, and blame you for being non-responsive. Don't give her that opportunity!

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  • M
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    This is a weird back and forth game. I mean I see your point but I'd also just end it and make the call. I don't necessarily think it makes you look weak or that it makes you cave, you're just being the bigger person by doing so because you'd just be ending the never ending cycle
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  • Alejandra
    Super March 2019
    Alejandra ·
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    My MIL did that to me in the beginning and I'd get a text from my hubby (fiance at that point) and he'd say " Hey my mom wanted to say Hi but she says you never answer her so can you call her?" #1 She'd call when I was busy at work, at the gym (left my phone in locker) or even on another call. As soon as I call her back, no answer. So I don't try again. One day I told hubby that it made me feel bad that she'd say I didn't answer like if I was ignoring her and even showed him the call paths of missed call and a call back and no answer. The same with SIL, when she needs something she'll text/call etc but if not my messages go unanswered as well as my calls. I don't even care but don't go telling my husband that I ignore y'all when I don't. I don't know what he said to them but that stopped. Your FH needs to step up and tell his mom to stop with the little game or else it'll hurt your relationship as a family.

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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    What’s OP?
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  • B
    Dedicated August 2019
    Blag ·
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    I don’t think I’m used to that and I keep hearing different things from different people that she could just reach out to me directly instead of making me always be the one to do it. It’s weird. When I have a question for someone I just ask them directly. It makes it less time consuming etc
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