Flower girls & ring bearers

It’s okay if it’s okay by the pastor (our officiant didn’t want to be fumbling with rings). There’s no need for the child to carry the rings though, and in fact that’s pretty rare because of all that could go wrong! Many “ring bearers” are strictly for show. Most often the best man (or some other responsible adult) will hold the rings and pass them over when it is time.

That's perfectly okay! Another option would be to have the best man hold the rings (if you're having a wedding party)

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Thanks so much. At 1st I felt like it was a huge no-no to not have them. Now I feel better about it.

I'm only having a flower girl, and she's ten so older than most flower girls. I'm also considering having her be the ring bearer with the rings inside her basket in a box, or we'll just have the best man hold them.

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Thanks for your input. At 1st I felt like they were required even if you don't really want them. I feel so much better about it now!

Typically an adult in the wedding party has them. I've never been to a wedding where the child actually had the rings.

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Multitasking is good! Is she warring a dress or no? I saw a really nice picture of a flower/ring girl in pants & a vest that I liked more than most of the dresses I've seen for them!

That’s what we’re doing. Im a teacher but I have zero interest in having children be part of the ceremony.

We are having one of each, but my ring bearer will not actually have the rings. He will carry a funny sign. The best man will have the rings. I am having both kids stand up with us, but their parents on alert should they start getting uncomfortable up there, they will just go sit down with their parents.

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Good point!

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I feel so much better about not having them in mine too. They're welcome to be there as long as they behave!

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That sounds good. I was worried the parents of the kids would want to be in the pictures too if we had kids in our ceremony.

View Quoted Comment They might be wonderful, but I’ve seen kids act perfect in the rehearsal and when it was time for them to go out they threw a tantrum and wouldn’t. I’m not dealing with the possibility of that.

It’s absolutely okay not to have a flower girl/ring bearer and it’s okay to have one and still have the officiant or a member of the bridal party hold the rings. As PPs said, children usually don’t actually have the rings.

View Quoted Comment She'll be in a dress, but probably just a junior bridesmaid dress instead of a flower girl dress. (She likes dresses.) Her parents are also in the ceremony as a bridesmaid and a groomsman so no worries about pictures either lol.

My then 2 year old son dropped my brother's rings so I highly recommend having the officiant hold them. We were scrambling in the middle of the ceremony to find them and no matter how hard people try not to, that will cause a scene. If you still want it to look like the ring bearer had the rings, just put fake ones on the pillow, and have the officiant grab them and put them aside. Or, I have seen these ring guard pictures where they actually carry something like a briefcase. It might be more secure that way if it's something you'd be into.

My ring barrer will have the rings but he is NOT a toddler and knows how to behave correctly so I'm not worried about him having a meltdown or losing the rings. Also ours won't be on a pillow so they will be more secure

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If they are not part of the bridal party, they wouldn't be in all of your pictures. Depending on how they are related, they may be in the family formals. You will also provide a list of pictures you want to your photographer and then you need to designate a photo wrangler (someone who knows everyone) to make sure those people are in the pictures. that wrangler will control who is in those photos.

I plan to have a LOT of kiddos in our ceremony (5 flower boys/girls and 5 jr attendants), but no ring bearer. I just don’t feel comfortable expecting a kid to be responsible for such an expensive object. We’ll have either our officiant (a friend) or one of our attendants hold on to them.

Right now we're only having a flower girl (a bridesmaid's daughter). She's 4 y/o and very excited to wear her dress; she even checked out a flower girl book at the library.

Ring bearers on the other hand.... we're up in the air there thanks to some family drama with my FBIL.