Flower Girl Help!!

I’m really struggling on my flower girl situation.
Short story- I run a daycare, one of the little girls I have is one of my friends kids. I’ve had her her whole life ( she’s about to be 3) the mother and I used to be very close I planned her whole wedding and was in her wedding. We’ve drifted apart, I still want her daughter to be there with me but I’m also nervous that her mom will be upset or petty about the fact that we didn’t ask her.
Another little girl I watch I would like to ask too. My fiancé and I hang out with her moms and we call them our friends. I mentioned something this morning about how I was going to ask their daughter and how it was in PA her mom seemed very thrown off by it. My sister also brought up the fact that the one mom has horrible anxiety and she will most likely be freaking out all day about the daughter being difficult( which is fine with me, she’s a kid, she’ll be two when our wedding comes around, I wouldn’t expect anything less. )

I’ll have two ring bearers, my godbabies. I just don’t know what to do about the flower girls. I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do. Any advice or help will be appreciated !