Flaky Bridesmaid

My bridesmaids have 10 days to get their dresses ordered online from an etsy shop. She said she ordered it months ago.. so it doesn't seem shes actually going to get it. When I ask if it has came in yet she says "no, but it should be soon"

What should I do about the guys walking out at the wedding? I'm 2 girls short..

What do I do about her personalized gifts I've already had made? Give them to her even if she doesn't actaully come and be my bridesmaid?

Note- She was extremely excited for me and honored when I asked her to be a bridesmaid. I don't honestly know where things have went wrong

Could it be that she's having money problems and she's embarrassed to tell you? The fact that she lied about already purchasing her dress and bailed on your bach party so that she didn't have to pay her portion leads me to believe that it is a money thing...

It is perfectly okay to have an uneven BP. I would flat out text her and ask if something was wrong. I'd even bring up the dress thing.

I've offered to pay for everyones dress, but everyone has paid themself for it. She is pretty wealthy, so I don't believe money is an issue.

If it was a money issue I'm not sure how she could of paid for an entire week at the beach with a "poor" friend(my bm paid for the whole beach trip because this single mom is broke) when her half of the cabin was only $50!

How do the bridesmaids and groomsmen walk out of the wedding like at the end if it's uneven?

When I posted before everyone said have groomsmen walk out with groom and have the girls walk out before me.. but what about the end?

I texted this morning asking her if I had done something and she said "no" I said "well I miss you Youve disappeared from my lifeeee " she replied "I miss you too " Then I said "Can we have a wine and netflix night this week??" This was 4 hours ago and I still don't have a reply

If they are uneven have a BM walk with two GM.

I would say:

"Hey ____, I spoke to the Etsy dress shop owner today to confirm all the dress orders and get an idea on when they would be arriving, and she mentioned that she hadn't gotten your dress order in yet. I know you mentioned earlier that you had bought it already, so could there have been some sort of communication error and the order didn't go through? If so, you might want to contact her again asap to settle everything out! However, in order to get all your dresses delivered in time, they need to be ordered by July 29th. If you need help purchasing it, let me know! I'd be happy to help!"

And just leave it at that. If she ignores you again or doesn't order it, I'd just let her know that she can still attend as a guest. If you already ordered her personalized gifts, I'd still give them to her, though. It's not likely you can return them if they are personalized in any way.

Have a heart to heart talk with her. If she does want to do it, move on.

Ask her point blank. Or word it like this " hey just checking in. I just got an email from dress maker and there must be some confusion or miss communication. She mentioned your dress wasnt ordered." Then let her respond

Have the men walk out first and line up. Then the girls by themselves. I much prefer this personally. On the way back a guy on each arm of the girl.

Id try to talk to her before you move on with her not being there.

Good idea mmbrake28, I think I'll do exactly that! I'm pretty upset because she won't let me know why she has suddenly been short with me and not wanted to spend time together when before all of this we were very good friends. We spent lots of time together and talked alot.

I'm very hurt for the fact that all of my friends are my fiances guy friends..who are all his groomsmen.. so since I don't have any female friends I picked only family as bridesmaids and then her as my only friend. So when getting ready for the wedding that morning I'm going to have 3 of his family memebers and 2 of mine.. Not much fun drinking mimosas and having fun with people who are older than you (I'm 21 they are 37-40) and 3 girls who are under 16. Ugh. I'm ready for this to all be over.

I say cut her loose she is unrelyable it may be a money issue no don't give her the gifts

Could it be possible that she's acting this way because she feels she's sort of losing you? Especially since she seems to be your only friend. That doesn't excuse her behavior but would maybe help you figure out how to approach her about how she's been acting.

I would continue considering her a BM and let her know that you would be honored if she stood with you, but you would understand if she decided not to. If she doesn't show up for rehearsal, consider it a no, and organize your exit accordingly - you could have everyone walk in a single line or have all BM's exit in 2s then GM the same way.

I think the issue of your friendship is a bigger issue than how your wedding party will exit your wedding though. She's a really close friend, but she's lied to you and didn't honor her promise to cover her share of the bach event. I would be more concerned about why my friend is acting this way, than how everyone will exist a ceremony.

Also, your messages saying you miss her and offering to spend time doing something other than your wedding stuff was spot on! I hope she responds and you're able to fix things.

It sounds like she just doesn't want to hang out with you.

I wouldn't count on her being a BM.

I'd either sell the gifts (unless she has a super uncommon name) or wait until her birthday if you're still friends then.

Lovelovelove, I am concerned about our friendship but I need to know what to do in terms of my wedding if she does decide to bail.

I don't really know what it could be, I have TRIED to talk to her more than anyone even stuff not about the wedding, I've actually hardly gotten to say anything to her because she never wants to respond to meet up. The only thing that has changed is right before our party she met this new single mom that she took to the beach and they've been glued to each other and constantly posting about her "bestie" on social media and is with her everyday that she's not working. I suppose she just found a new friend and doesn't need my friendship anymore..but leading me on that you're gonna be a bridesmaid just isn't right

It looks like you've done all you can OP. There could be a bigger issue but she's an adult and should be able to speak up if there is something going on. And I'm referring to mending your friendship more than figuring out if she's still a bridesmaid.

Thanks ladies!

Maintaining friendships as an adult should be this hard, I'm sorry you're in this situation.

If you already have gifts, hold on to them and see if she reaches out. They could be birthday gifts later if nothing else. I think you have done what you can. If you do run in to her or manage to get a hold of her on the phone I would ask her what's going on in a very direct but kind way. I agree with okMarie. she might feel like she's losing you as a friend and hanging more with someone who is single instead.

I would have some your bridesmaids walk out with two groomsmen to deal with the uneven numbers and for now, assume she'll be a no-show.

It really seems that she is purposely avoiding you. I have a feeling that she does not want to be in your wedding but just hasn't come out and told you yet. Hopefully she'll talk to you soon. Her behavior is immature.

ETA - as for exiting the ceremony, BM/GM can just walk out on their own. They don't have to be in pairs.