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Super October 2018

First Look: Yes or No?

Mrs. Cohen, on February 19, 2018 at 4:08 PM Posted in Planning 0 69

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The biggest debate my fiancé and I have encountered in this whole wedding planning process is, should we do a "first look" on our big day or keep it traditional with him seeing me for the first time as I walk down the aisle?

Myself as well as our wedding photographer, both think a "first look" would be ideal. And these are the reasons why I want the first look:

* I have an anxiety disorder, so I think seeing him before the big walk down the aisle would help calm my nerves.

* As our photographer pointed out, a first look would give my fiancé and I some good moments of being alone together. Once I walk down that aisle, we won't get another moment of being totally alone until the wedding is over and we drive off into the night.

* This would maximize time by allowing us to do the majority of our couple photos, photos with the bridal & grooms party, and even most of the family photos. This would give us more time to actually enjoy the entire wedding instead of being ushered around for photos between the ceremony, cocktails, dinner, and dancing.

* If happy tears do happen during the first look and photos, there is still time to freshen up before the ceremony commences.

My fiancé, however, really wants to keep things traditional, by my walking down the aisle being the first time he sees me on the wedding day. He says this is the only part of our wedding he dreams of, is seeing me walk down that aisle and that's why he wants to do things that way.

I think it's incredibly romantic that he wants that traditional experience, but I think the day will flow much more easily and we'll have a more relaxed experienced by getting the first look and majority of photos done first thing.

So, I ask... what are your thoughts on this?

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69 Comments

Latest activity by Ingris, on March 2, 2018 at 12:48 AM

Expert June 2018
lindseybee89 · on February 19, 2018 at 4:12 PM
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We aren’t doing it. My fh is super traditional and I feel like it’s kinda awkward. I like more candid pictures myself and rather take the time getting ready with the girls and relaxing.
plus we don’t want to ruin our grand entrance, so we will be doing the pictures during cocktail hour
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Devoted March 2018
Melanie · on February 19, 2018 at 4:16 PM
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I’m doing a first look for all the reasons you listed. Really it’s about not slowing down the party once it’s starts, because the party was the most important part for us.

But if my FH told me he was dreaming about the moment I walk down the aisle, that would give me serious pause.... if it’s that important to him, it might be worth not doing it. My FH asked for so little for the wedding, so when he asks for something I’ve been more than happy to accommodate.

You’ve got a pretty special guy if he’s dreaming about that moment!
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Super August 2019
Future Louie · on February 19, 2018 at 4:19 PM
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So I've seen pictures of the groom being blindfolded while the bride isn't. Would that be something you'd both consider that way you get the first look to calm your nerves and he gets to keep the sight of you a surprise? I'm not sure how many couples actually do this as I've never seen it on WW in my few months of being on here, but just an idea.
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Master April 2018
Mrs. Sponge · on February 19, 2018 at 4:26 PM
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Nope. FH and I both agreed immediately that we wouldn’t be doing one. To us it would ruin the moment of him seeing walk down the aisle, and we weren’t will to sacrifice that for any reason.
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Expert August 2018
Erica · on February 19, 2018 at 4:30 PM
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No we will not be doing it. I believe the first look should be traditional. Its nothing like that experience.
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Dedicated October 2018
#MakeHerABaker · on February 19, 2018 at 4:31 PM
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I think we're skipping it. FH wants me/my dress to be a total surprise and would rather wait until I walk down the aisle. I don't really have an opinion either way.
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Dedicated September 2018
H&MForever · on February 19, 2018 at 4:35 PM
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We aren’t doing it. My FH wants to see me for the first time walking down the aisle.
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Master June 2016
Sarah · on February 19, 2018 at 4:36 PM
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We did it and it was my favorite part of the day! H had a lot of reservations but for us the pros outweighed the cons. It gave us some time alone to talk before the ceremony (I’m anxious, he’s fairly stone faced in front of his family), it gave us the opportunity to get all pictures out of the way beforehand and it gave us a chance to attend and eat during cocktail hour. It also, IMO, didn’t take anything away from walking down the aisle. That emotion was completely separate from seeing him beforehand.
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Devoted May 2018
Jessica · on February 19, 2018 at 4:47 PM
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We are doing it for all the reasons you stated. My man and I are both pretty introverted so showing our emotions with everyone we know surrounding us seems overwhelming to me, and also that I won't get his true feelings because he's afraid of what other people will think. I've also seen the pictures from other weddings that had the first look and the moment they see you is still special. Maybe you could do a first look without a veil or something, so there is some difference in walking down the aisle?
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Devoted June 2019
Laurel · on February 19, 2018 at 4:51 PM
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I agree that the groom being blindfolded may be a good option for you getting your nerves out for seeing / talking to him before the wedding, but still having the first time he sees you be as you walk down the aisle. I won’t be doing a first look with my FH since we have decided on the traditional route, but if your FH says that is important to him, then I really think you should consider skipping the first look.
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Devoted October 2018
Nikki · on February 19, 2018 at 4:54 PM
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We're not doing one. My fiance tears up just looking at me sometimes so I know he's going to have full on tears. I want that magic moment of opening the door and locking eyes with him. I get why people do it but it is not for us.
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Devoted August 2018
Rachel · on February 19, 2018 at 4:56 PM
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So my fiance is also super traditional and wants to see me for the first time walking down the aisle. I also struggle with anxiety and got him to agree to do something like this before the ceremony. I don't know of this has a specific name but maybe you could run it by him?
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VIP October 2018
Victoria · on February 19, 2018 at 4:58 PM
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We're traditional so we're not doing it. We want the first look to be me walking down the aisle with my father. To me, a first look takes the magic of the ceremony away.
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VIP June 2018
PrincessLawrence · on February 19, 2018 at 5:00 PM
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My FH and I are not doing it. This wedding is not very traditional but that I want to keep. I want him so be stunned in front of all ur family and friends when he sees me.
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Just Said Yes October 2019
Kaela · on February 19, 2018 at 5:04 PM
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I really think if you have an anxiety problem and believe that a first look would help you feel more comfortable, that’s what you should do. I personally am planing on the traditional approach because my FH is a hard but to crack and I’m determined to make him emotional! But if a first look helps you feel comfortable and more confident I think you should do that.
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Devoted August 2018
Monique · on February 19, 2018 at 5:13 PM
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We aren't doing a first look. FH said absolutely not lol he wants to see me for the first time walking down the aisle. I told him he better ugly cry when he sees me ha ha ha.
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Savvy July 2018
kaycee · on February 19, 2018 at 5:19 PM
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I have ALWAYS been anti-first looks. When we first got engaged I said absolutely not! Southern girl values... bad luck etc...

However, I am proof you can change your mind! We are having a beach wedding that begins at 5pm... if I want photos before the sun goes down, makeup runs, or hair falls— we are going to do a first look to make sure we look our best! We also don’t want to keep guest waiting!
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Expert October 2018
Tiara · on February 19, 2018 at 5:20 PM
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We are doing it for the same reason. Every wedding we've been to that doesn't has an hour and a half to two hour cocktail hour. Pretty much sold us on the idea
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Dedicated July 2018
Elle · on February 19, 2018 at 5:20 PM
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We are both serious introverts and socially anxious people so we are definitely doing a first look. we still have to iron out alot of the details but I just love the idea of having a special moment just me and him before hand. we wanted to elope but ended up planning a very small intimate wedding so this kinda gives us the best of both worlds.
but like another commented said, if it was that important to my FH I would do a double take and have to think long and hard about it.
are you having a large ceremony with lots of people that it would be overwhelming?
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Super October 2018
Mrs. Cohen · on February 19, 2018 at 5:33 PM
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Yeah that's my big struggle is that of all the wedding planning thus far, the whole first look thing is the only thing he's had a strong opinion about, which makes me want to do it his way... ooof. Decisions decisions.

Luckily, our ceremony isn't terribly large. We've invited about 100 people, but are only expecting about 70 to actually attend. Despite my anxiety, I'm fairly outgoing and so is my FH, so I don't think it would be too overwhelming (at least I'm hoping it's not).
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