First dance...how important?

You'll still be married even if you don't have a "first dance" at the restaurant. Maybe you could have one after dinner?

I think the question is how important is the first dance to YOU.

At my first wedding, we did a first dance. At this wedding, we're currently not planning on doing it (though to be honest I'm going to talk to FI more about it - he's not a good dancer, but I love dancing). We don't want to have to rent a dance floor since we're trying to keep costs down. And really, very few, if any, of our guests would dance, so it would essentially *just* be for our first dance, so I have a hard time justifying the extra cost.

I know we will still be married haha....I was just wondering if anyone has ever "forgo" this tradition. I have just seen photos of our friends first dances at their weddings, so I dont realy know anyone who HASN'T had a first dance.

To me, it was very important. And I didn't realize how much until after the wedding.

So many things didn't go as planned for our wedding and looking back there are SO many things I would change if I could... except our 1st dance!

When our song started and hubby put his arms around me the whole rest of the world went away and we were totally lost in each other for 3 or 4 whole minutes.

And now anytime I hear our wedding song i get to re-live that one absolutely perfect moment.

I would try to squeeze it in some how, if you could. Or... your 1st dance doesn't necessarily have to be at your reception. Maybe on your honeymoon where its just the 2 of you, some candles and some wine on ice??

I'm with you Belais - we would probably only be the ones to dance and it would cost essentially over $10,000 for that dance as we've been told we would have to rent the whole dining space. Thats one expensive first dance!

I like that idea! I definitely want us to have a "song" so maybe on the honeymoon would be good.

I am in the same boat we have a small wedding 40 people in total and am not allowed to have dancing at my venue due to the possibility of antique furniture getting wrecked if people get crazy. I'm okay with it. It is not all that important to me as we have been together for 15 years and are practically married anyway.

Does the resort have a disco type area, if so you can always go there later at night and the guests can go with for dancing.

Are you okay with no dancing at all at your wedding? Or will you go somewhere after for dancing? I have had exactly one couple ever forgo the first dance and there was no dancing at their event at all, so no one seemed bothered by it.

The first dance is very important to me, but most other people who plan to attend the wedding dont understand my need for it. To me, that is the perfect act to begin our married life, because not only is it usually done, but it is also one of the very first things we did as a couple, the first thing being a kiss. We danced at the park, in the middle of the night, on the clay, to "I dont wanna miss a thing" by Aerosmith, and we will be repeating this dance in front of all of our friends and family. Its very important to me, but may not be to others. Its all about personal preference

We are having a DW and having only a dinner reception, no dancing.

I think it's different when you have a DW. For me, the first dance is somewhat important but just because I want us to have a song to dance to on our anniversary and stuff. However, I think it will be nearly impossible to have a first dance at our venue as they've already told us if we want to have music we have to rent out the whole dining area, which will cost us $10,000 - our whole wedding won't cost us that much! We are only have betwe 28-34 guests and I doubt most would dance if they had the option. After hearing all your lovely suggestions on the topic, I think I have decided that we will go back to our condo that we have rented in Maui and we have this big beautiful patio on the ground level with a lovely garden...and we will choose a song to dance to there...it more appeals to me as well because I was concerned with dancing in front of all these ppl as I get a big anxious being center of attention. Also I feel it will be more romantic this way! Thoughts?

I didn't have a first dance at my first wedding. (The groom was quite hard of hearing, so music not only was lost on him but interfered with his ability to hear conversation.) I'm pretty sure that the end of the marriage--nearly two decades later--was not related to that omission. LOL

I think it would be fine to go back afterwords to do your first dance at your condo maybe you can also do your cake cutting there too so guests will have anothor reason to go after dinner.

One of the restaurants we are considering would only allow if we rented the private dining to have a cake table/ decor and dancing if we wanted, so I know what you mean. We would have to do something similar if we go with them and do not opt for the private room.

Dance on the beach or at your condo. Do they have a grand entry space? I am sure they would love to have you do your first dance there.

We could dance on the beach or in the garden area of our condo resort. I don't think they have a grand entry space. It doesn't bother me if guests are there to witness our first dance or not...its more about us. I actually prefer ppl NOT to watch us...lol. I would actually get to enjoy our first dance as a married couple if ppl were not watching us.

LOL @ 2d bride - I'm sure the fact that you didn't have a first dance had nothing to do with your separation. I am not thinking it will mean impending doom for mine either if we don't have a first dance...just wondering what people thought of as options in case we do choose to have one.

Thanks everyone!

First dance is up to you. We're not having a dance for the reception at all so no first fance for us. We may have our first date on our honeymoon or our home afterwards.

You could opt for a private first dance in your honeymoon suite following the reception? It'd still be your first dance!

That's true. I guess technically even if our first dance wasn't months after the wedding it would still be our first dance as a married couple lol. I'm just finding it hard to keep our wedding traditional seeing as I don't think I'm a very traditional type of girl! Also, my mum will be walking me down the aisle seeing as I was raised without a father.