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Laura
Savvy March 2019

Final guest list

Laura, on July 19, 2018 at 1:54 PM

Posted in Etiquette and Advice 30

So I’m down to the last few people on my FINAL guest list. I’ve made it clear to the immediate family that if you don’t get an invitation, you’re not welcome at my wedding. This way I’m preventing my family from inviting everyone and their mother. But I’m still having issues with people messaging me...
So I’m down to the last few people on my FINAL guest list. I’ve made it clear to the immediate family that if you don’t get an invitation, you’re not welcome at my wedding. This way I’m preventing my family from inviting everyone and their mother. But I’m still having issues with people messaging me asking about the wedding. How do I politely tell these people to not show up at my wedding? We have a very set limit for the people we invite, since we are paying for it ourselves, obviously if people who weren’t invited in the first place show up, my guests who were invited will be misplaced. Help

30 Comments

  • C
    Devoted November 2023
    Crystal ·
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    I don't think it's rude to ask for an invitation. Plenty of events you have to give your name or show your invite to get into to.
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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    Is your website public though? No one who isn't invited to our wedding has the password to access our website. That's how you get wedding crashers. The stranger kind...not the family kind.

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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    That’s a good point, but at least it would hopefully discourage an invited relative from bringing another uninvited relative
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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    That's true...at least HOPEFULLY! LOL

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  • DC Wife 10.27.18
    Master October 2018
    DC Wife 10.27.18 ·
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    Yes, but a wedding is not one of them. Weddings are expensive and in the case of mine kind of intimate. So, when my second cousin who always brings all of his children (whether it is a kid-friendly event or not), a couple random adults and sometimes even a dog with him, says he knows he better be getting an invitation, it's rude. Its rude to put a bride and groom in the position to have to explain that you didn't get an invitation because of their budget. Maybe that's just how I was raised but, if I do not get invited to something, I do not ask to come. There was probably a reason.

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  • Laura
    Savvy March 2019
    Laura ·
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    No it isn’t public! It’s password protected and the guests will receive the password on the invitation
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  • Laura
    Savvy March 2019
    Laura ·
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    I completely agree with you!
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  • lyfe_girl
    Dedicated June 2019
    lyfe_girl ·
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    I’m a coordinator and you’d be amazed how often people show up uninvited and/or without RSVPing. I had one wedding this summer that was supposed to be 150 (RSVPs) and 175 showed up.

    I’d definitely not publicly post on Fb, but I would graciously tell those who ask that you aren’t able to accommodate everyone. If you’re worried about it, having security isn’t a bad idea.
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  • Laura
    Savvy March 2019
    Laura ·
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    Thank you!
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  • Aidan
    Dedicated February 2023
    Aidan ·
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    I’m assuming you could give them a list of the people that rsvpd yes and/or are invited and ask people to give names at the door? The only way I could see this backfiring is if an unwanted guest lied about their identity
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