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Savvy March 2019

Final guest list

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Laura, on July 19, 2018 at 1:54 PM

So I’m down to the last few people on my FINAL guest list. I’ve made it clear to the immediate family that if you don’t get an invitation, you’re not welcome at my wedding. This way I’m preventing my family from inviting everyone and their mother. But I’m still having issues with people messaging me asking about the wedding. How do I politely tell these people to not show up at my wedding? We have a very set limit for the people we invite, since we are paying for it ourselves, obviously if people who weren’t invited in the first place show up, my guests who were invited will be misplaced. Help

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30 Comments

Devoted November 2023
Crystal · on July 19, 2018 at 4:35 PM
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I don't think it's rude to ask for an invitation. Plenty of events you have to give your name or show your invite to get into to.
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on July 19, 2018 at 4:37 PM
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Is your website public though? No one who isn't invited to our wedding has the password to access our website. That's how you get wedding crashers. The stranger kind...not the family kind.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on July 19, 2018 at 4:41 PM
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That’s a good point, but at least it would hopefully discourage an invited relative from bringing another uninvited relative
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on July 19, 2018 at 4:43 PM
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That's true...at least HOPEFULLY! LOL
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Master October 2018
DC Wife 10.27.18 · on July 19, 2018 at 4:53 PM
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Yes, but a wedding is not one of them. Weddings are expensive and in the case of mine kind of intimate. So, when my second cousin who always brings all of his children (whether it is a kid-friendly event or not), a couple random adults and sometimes even a dog with him, says he knows he better be getting an invitation, it's rude. Its rude to put a bride and groom in the position to have to explain that you didn't get an invitation because of their budget. Maybe that's just how I was raised but, if I do not get invited to something, I do not ask to come. There was probably a reason.
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Savvy March 2019
Laura · on July 19, 2018 at 5:18 PM
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No it isn’t public! It’s password protected and the guests will receive the password on the invitation
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Savvy March 2019
Laura · on July 19, 2018 at 5:19 PM
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I completely agree with you!
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Dedicated June 2019
lyfe_girl · on July 19, 2018 at 5:55 PM
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I’m a coordinator and you’d be amazed how often people show up uninvited and/or without RSVPing. I had one wedding this summer that was supposed to be 150 (RSVPs) and 175 showed up.

I’d definitely not publicly post on Fb, but I would graciously tell those who ask that you aren’t able to accommodate everyone. If you’re worried about it, having security isn’t a bad idea.
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Savvy March 2019
Laura · on July 19, 2018 at 7:05 PM
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Thank you!
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Dedicated February 2023
Aidan · on July 19, 2018 at 11:55 PM
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I’m assuming you could give them a list of the people that rsvpd yes and/or are invited and ask people to give names at the door? The only way I could see this backfiring is if an unwanted guest lied about their identity
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