Bailee
Just Said Yes July 2020

Fiance's sister

Bailee, on April 4, 2019 at 8:58 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 38
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My Fiance has decided that he is not going to invite his older sister to our wedding. I fully support his decision. We refuse all contact with her and her husband after we found out they were abusing their children. His mother is insisting we invite her because, "Family is family". My family and I fully support this decision. Does anyone think this is the right move for us or should we invite them?

38 Comments

Latest activity by Stephanie, on April 6, 2019 at 10:28 PM
  • Brae
    VIP September 2019
    Brae ·
    • Flag
    Uhmm.. I wouldn't invite them and I'd also call child protective services and the police.
    • Reply
  • KiwiDerbyBride
    VIP May 2015
    KiwiDerbyBride Online ·
    • Flag
    Absolutely the right decision and call CPS.
    • Reply
  • Expert May 2021
    ·
    • Flag
    I wouldn’t invite them either. It’s not your FMIL decision on who you do or don’t include in your lives. And family is family is bull. Being family isn’t a free pass to be an awful person and be in someone’s life always just because you’re related.
    • Reply
  • Anna
    Master June 2020
    Anna ·
    • Flag
    Well, it depends...have they atoned for what they have done to their kids? Have they turned their lives around? And do they want to make amends?

    If so then offer the olive branch so to speak...if not, then I doubt they would come even if invited.
    • Reply
  • Jordan
    Expert September 2019
    Jordan ·
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    I wouldn’t invite anyone who you don’t speak to. Are his parents contributing financially?
    • Reply
  • Hunter
    Dedicated May 2020
    Hunter ·
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    You're definitely making the right call by not inviting them. Anyone suggesting you should invite ABUSERS to your wedding is crazy..

    • Reply
  • Nemo
    Master August 2018
    Nemo ·
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    Don’t invite them but do make a hotline if you haven’t already.
    • Reply
  • Victorian Bride
    Master February 2022
    Victorian Bride ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree!!!!!
    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Devoted November 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    There are several members of my family that I’m not inviting as well as his. His step brother will not be invited to the wedding due to his actions. Short story short he’s been trying to get my sister to send pictures to him even tho he has a girlfriend and when i called him out on it with picture proof he called me a liar and saying i need to mind my business and stuff🤷🏻‍♀️ Obviously my sister is in the wedding and that’s just drama i don’t want to deal with. You invite who YOU want as for their children’s safety i would 100000% calls CPS
    • Reply
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Yes this 100%
    • Reply
  • Sherry
    Master September 2019
    Sherry ·
    • Flag
    Got my vote. I'm not inviting my brother or my dad. It's your wedding and you and your FH should decide who is invited, not anyone else.
    • Reply
  • C
    Super July 2019
    Crystal ·
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    It's your wedding. We have family were not inviting. Stick with your decision.
    • Reply
  • Brittainy
    Dedicated October 2020
    Brittainy ·
    • Flag
    I’m not inviting my little brother, it can be hard cutting family out but sometimes it’s necessary.
    Long story short my brother is a bigot and prone to aggression and gets in fights constantly over literally nothing and he’s a alcoholic. I can’t have someone toxic like that in my life or at my wedding, my dad offered to pay for him to come to the wedding but I told him that my brother won’t be invited. Dad is sad about it but understands my reservations. By brother has been like a stranger for years now.
    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted October 2019
    Melodie ·
    • Flag
    Bailee, do not invite them.


    More important—If you suspect that there is abuse happening in the family, you need to contact CPS immediately. Do not wait to discuss with fiance, family, or anyone else. (Maybe you’ve already done this, couldn’t tell from your post.)
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Devoted September 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    Yes, in your case it's the right decision not to invite her.

    We're dealing with a similar dilemma. But my finance's sister did a good deal of raising him when he was a kid, and both his parents died when he was young. She's made terrible choices in her life since, but he's conflicted on inviting her.
    • Reply
  • Latasha
    Savvy June 2020
    Latasha ·
    • Flag
    Follow your heart Bailee...
    • Reply
  • Julie
    Devoted October 2020
    Julie ·
    • Flag
    Nope, no, nope, nope nope.....
    • Reply
  • Formerbride
    VIP June 2019
    Formerbride ·
    • Flag

    I cut out a portion of my family for a similar reason. They are not invited. You are making the right decision for you and FH. If FMIL doesn't get it, she doesn't have to. She can invite her to any party she wishes. This isn't her party.

    • Reply
  • Danielle
    Master June 2019
    Danielle ·
    • Flag

    Uhhh....please call children protective services. If she is abusing her children, and y'all know about, and aren't doing anything about it...that's just as bad. And no, don't invite her....she should be in jail, or worse!!

    • Reply
  • WifeyPoo
    Devoted July 2019
    WifeyPoo ·
    • Flag

    It's your decision who you invite to your wedding. Period. I'm hoping your information is already based on CPS or the police having been called.

    • Reply

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