Fiance's parents want us to go on a trip to Europe with them a couple of weeks after our honeymoon

You guys are getting married, going on a honeymoon, and moving in together for the first time (which will be a HUGE adjustment), all within a couple weeks. I would say no to their trip. Especially since both you and FH are on the same page. Stand your ground and say no. Good luck!

I wouldn't go. Don't you guys have work? I know I'd get behind if I took 2 long trips that close together. I also wouldn't want to use that much PTO that close, I like to spread it out and I get 5 weeks lol. She sounds like she's trying to get her way, don't give it to her on something this big. You will end up way too stressed out. Moving is a big deal and when you first start living together it's a huge adjustment, especially if you don't sleep together regularly. TV on/TV off, cover hogging, different bed times/routines and snoring can all be things to adjust to and that will affect your sleep for a while until you get things sorted out.

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Yeah, I work and I already explained to my fiance I can't take two trips that close together. However, he will be off work since he'll be done with residency. His job won't start till September. So his parents want him to go on a trip with them. They could have gone before, but my fiance won't go on a trip with out me. I can't go on any trips until we get married because I have super religious and strict parents. So nothing like that till after marriage. I had to sneak to spend the few nights with him when my parents were out of town. I think my fiance might want to go now. So I told him to go with them before we get married...but I don't think he likes that idea. Like I can't even believe this is something I have to explain to everyone. I feel like my in laws do not take a lot of things into consideration. They don't like taking no for an answer.

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Thanks. Sometimes I don't know if my thoughts and feelings are valid.

I think its nice that they are thinking of you and want to spend time with you! At least they are trying! I do think going a couple weeks after getting married is too much though. But you should expect them to keep asking, if they asked before you were married and you declined due to not being married. You should expect more invites. I dont think it is at all wrong for them to ask. I would be more offended if they went on a family trip and didnt ask.

Is it something you would want to do a different time? Maybe say next year you guys could do
something... also if they aren’t paying for the trip then they should expect with wedding expenses it would be difficult

View Quoted Comment Agreed. Id be so offended if they took a big family trip and didnt even try to include me.

And perhaps you need to talk to them directly. Maybe instead of flat out declining, explain you cannot take that much time off of work so close together and say perhaps if it was a month or so after the wedding, then maybe but you don't want to risk your job. And youre afraid with wedding stress and moving stress you just can't add work stress to that and then try to "enjoy" a family trip.

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They wouldn't take a family trip with just my fiance once we are married. Throughout our relationship my fiance has declined going on trips with them because he didn't want to go without me. So now that we will be married my in laws are jumping on the opportunity to be able to go on a trip with their son.

So they are planning their trip just because we will be married. My in laws go on family trips every year without us.

I already feel like my in laws are overly involved. This is something I have talked to my fiance about. I told him I feel like I'm dating his family and we don't get as much time just the two of us. We only get to see each other on weekends if that. Now they basically want to go on our honeymoon? Sounds ridiculous.

View Quoted Comment People have different views of ridiculous.
They aren't asking to go on your honeymoon.

They are doing their best to take what is clearly a tradition in their family and not exclude/be missing anyone. Which they have clearly done since their son started dating you, presumably an of legal age adult who had to "sneak" to spend time with her bf/fiancé because of your parents...that sounds ridiculous to me.

And while I understand your side with all you have going on, you don't even seem to be trying to understand WHY they would be excited to have all their family together and to once again try to find a way to be accommodating to YOU and limitations you've told them were placed on you because of your parents.

How many people do you think wish they were marrying into a family where they were being welcomed by their MIL/family, even if a little overzealous planning a trip so close.

As far as too much family time - some families are that way and very close...you may be itching to get away from yours, he may not be that way about his. And if you only see eachother on the weekends and are demanding all time possible with him (understandable)- how much time does he spend with them?

No-one is telling you you HAVE to go...just attempting to point out that you maybe need to step back and have a little perspective and approach it from a different way , because obviously the way you've approached it thus far isn't getting the results you want.

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What I'm upset about is that they already asked and we turned them down. They keep on pushing to get what they want. This vacation has not been the first incident. I'm noticing my MIL does this in other situations. They are not respecting our wishes and are attempting to overstep our boundaries.

I've been more than accommodating to their needs throughout the years but this is where i put my foot down. My situation has not been explained here in full but it has not affected my in laws. That is between my fiance and I.

Have you tried asking if they'd be willing to postpone the trip to give y'all a bit of a breather, and so you won't have to take so much time off of work all at once?

Atleast they asked you. My inlaws love me, but my parents want me to go on a vacation (after we get married) with them without him....we’ve been together for 6 years and will be married.....

I don’t really see how asking twice is not respecting your wishes. I mean, I understand you said no, but that doesn’t mean circumstances didn’t change and you’re able to go. I don’t think this is them trying to go on your honeymoon. That’s happening in Aruba, multiple weeks before this European vacation. They are excited to share something with you guys. I don’t think you need to go, but I think you need to take a step back and breathe before you start accusing your MIL of being awful for wanting to do nice things with you.

“Sorry we just have too much going this summer another trip would be too much. We can’t wait to join the family vacation next year!” Then do not entertain any more conversations on the subject.

Idk id go but thats just me

Honestly I think it’s nice that your in laws like you and want to invite you on their trips. Nothing to be upset about from where I’m standing. If you can’t afford it, then just don’t go. There doesn’t need to be any other explanation when you decline their offer to include you.

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I mean yeah it's nice they asked but the reason they are asking is because my fiance will not go without me. The only way he goes is if I go. My in-laws would go without me in a heartbeat as long as my fiance does.

I would tell them if it's on their dime, you'll go.

I would only go if they were paying. How can they expect you to pay for a wedding and honeymoon and then a trip like that so soon? That's insane.

Okay, I went back and read your other question. I'm sorry, but it seems to me that your MIL just wants to have a nice relationship and make you feel included and loved. Like, I get not wanting to go on vacation right after your wedding and honeymoon. That's totally fine. But, complaining that they changed destinations in the hopes that you and your FH would reconsider is insane. You've been with your FH for five years, you said. Do you just not want a super close relationship with his parents? Do you just want to worry about your husband and not really get any closer to his family? If so, that's totally up to you. But you might want to discuss that with him, because I know that I would never be okay with my future spouse having the same mindset.