Fiance Wont Help!

Haha I believe you Jennifer.

LOL @Jennifer! I read her post and came back to read it again. It went bye-bye! I didn't know that you could do that! I thought you could only hide them.

There was a thread, i felt bad for posting and couldn't figure out how to delete.haha.thanks so much

Thank You Jennifer! I didn't save the original thread and have since rewrote it.. so no your not crazy.. you are responding to a thread.

Looks like a double-post. The other one still exists.

Opps didn't mean to post 2.

I totally feel ya! Mine has been a little bit better once I started asking him one thing a week with only 3 or four options. When it comes to food ask him his favorite meat and side dish and be done with it lol. If he dosnt want to be involved dont push it

Get him involved with the things that interest him (cake, food, bar, DJ, transportation, honeymoon).

Don't ask him which shade of ivory he likes best -- to him they are probably all 'white.'

Narrow choices down to your 3 favorite and ask him to pick one.

Print out a timeline so he knows when things have to be done.

Keep it simple so he doesn't feel overwhelmed.

Mine is not the norm: he's very involved, but at the end of the day he leaves most of the final decisions to me, although he's had a few things (a color, his tux,) that he really wants, and they're definitely not worth fighting over, lol.

Some men look at the wedding as solely for the bride, and feel the bride should make whatever choices make her happy. If this is your fiancé, just tell him that while you appreciate him wanting you to be happy with everything, the day is for you both, and you'd be happier to see him represented in it as well through helping to make choices. Then simplify that by providing him with your favorites from the options available, lol.

Mine is an interesting mix - for the most part, he's hands off, but every once in awhile, he gets all up in arms about some random thing. The most recent was that he didn't like the font on the invitations.

One thing I've found that helps is to set aside weekly check-ins. I used to bring up little things as they come up, but now I keep a list on my phone of everything I want to discuss. I save it for that designated meeting and then he's more receptive to hearing everything.

Mine wants to be involved, but then I tend to throw WAY too much info at him. I'm trying to not give him every. single. possible. combination. of. details. and he's picking some things to take over the planning on

Mine was only involved here and there as well for a while too. then about a month before, he got interested and a few things were 'tweeked' here and there, but plans pretty much stayed the same because a month before hand was just too late to change much.

there's pros and cons to both- there's been brides on here that had grooms so involved with every stop that it drove them nuts.

Mine has pretty much no opinion either. doesn't want to be involved. He's been gone for a month and told me to just get as much done as I could while he was gone. When he does have an opinion I make sure to include it! At our tasting he loved their scallops that they had. I personally hate scallops and would never pick them but I cut out one of the apps that I loved to make room for that. Sometimes I get annoyed because the help would be nice BUT I love that he trusts me and I get to pick what I like without a fight. I know he wants "confetti cake" lol so I will make sure we have that as one of the layers of our cake. Normally I wouldn't pick that for our wedding cake but I want him to feel like he is included in some of it even if it's just an app and a layer of the cake. He's super big into music so I'm having him help with the DJ list. If u can find anything he has an opinion on take it and run! Even if it's something you normally wouldn't do. Idk about your FH but I know when we (I) I was planning our daughters first birthday party he would get so mad I was on my phone looking at things and he wanted no part of it. The day of her party he was all upset that I did the whole thing and he's her dad and should of had some say. I was ready to kill him lol. It was nice to know this for the wedding planning to make sure I get SOME ideas and go with them. Like I said if they like something run with it!

I've found that picking a certain day during the week that we both agree on works better than wedding talk all the time.

When I was still in the brainstorming, throw around ALL the ideas! stage, FW requested that we designate half an hour a day where I could talk to her about wedding stuff, and the rest of the time I would just either 1) Facebook her so she could ignore it until she wanted to check it and I wouldn't have to worry about forgetting the idea altogether in the meantime, or 2) talk about it on WW.

Once I got down to actually doing stuff, FW did much better being presented with an option and given the opportunity to say yes or no. If she said no, the ball was then in her court to come up with something she liked better. It works beautifully for both of us. I left her attire entirely up to her, and we came up with the ketubah together, but other than that, most things are just, I came up with an idea I thought we would both like, ran it by her, and she either said yes straight off or suggested a modification or two.

Mine is pretty involved. There are a few more "girly" things that he just says he doesn't care as long as it's in budget and let's me pick. He's not even that crazy about monitoring the budget, I'm doing most of that.

I think for some guys, planning a wedding is just not fun for them. Maybe you can do most the research and when it comes to things that he finds important, give him 3 choices and let him make the final say? Maybe that would be less overwhelming for him.

I'm very pro men being involved in the wedding planning. People tend to be shocked that my FH is so involved in the planning, but I always just say "It's his wedding too". ?

My husband was extremely hands-off with the planning. I went to look at venues with my mom, and he only came to see my favorite one. I am the one who researched, contacted and booked all of our vendors. I even picked the menu, he just went on the tasting haha. He only met with the officiant, went to the food and cake tastings, and went to the travel agent for our honeymoon with me, and he picked out his attire. That's it lol. I would ask his opinion on things or got final approval on things that impacted both of us, but most of it he had no opinion at all. In some ways it was annoying, but honestly in other ways it was better because I could make decisions quickly. He preferred it that way, and it didn't mean he wasn't happy or excited to get married!

Also- change your avatar to something other than the rings!

Same here!! He flips out when he hears too much about the wedding. I've just decided it's better to do it myself. He wants to go to the cake tasting. Like suddenly he cares now. But when I asked when he wanted to go he got all frustrated. So me and my roommate are gonna do the tasting. Snooze ya lose buddy!! He hardly eats cake anyway. I have a bridesman to help pick attire. At this point we've been engaged for 7 months now and if he doesn't wanna help pick things out, then he has to be ok with whatever I do. You might come to a point where you just accept that you gotta do it yourself. Make it as fun as possible if you can! Bridesmaids love cake and pretty girly things! You can make a girls weekend and do your hair trials together, pick out places and finish the day with a girls night with your hair done up.

Well mine is wrecking my head sometimes. I delighted he wants to help, but sometimes I'm better to do things my self. Like the other night, we were doing the envelopes for the invites. I printed them all, then he pain stakenly stuck the senders stickers in the exact same position on each one, while I had to sit and wait with the list to cross off each name to make sure we didn't miss anyone. After he finished that he then stuck stamps very precisely on each one and wouldn't let anyone help, because he was so chuffed he was helping out. The whole sticker and stamp session took about three hours for 76 invites.!! I was going demented as I had to watch,I would have had it done in a half hour. As I say delighted he wanted to help, but....( that's only one example)