Fiancé wants to invite a girl who told him to break up with me

Your dh should support you on this one. If that happens to me, I would tell my dh what he is going to do in my position. What if I insist to invite someone who has a crush on me and tell me to break up. Sometimes people don’t feel what we feel because they don’t imagine being in our shoes. Good luck.

Oh honey, you are a better person than I tolerating the presence of this negative person in your FH's life. There are few things that I would die on a hill for when it comes to compromising during wedding planning, this would be one of them. Stand your ground, explain how you will not support such negativity towards your relationship at your wedding, and even if she hasn't said anything since that horrible moment, it doesn't excuse the fact that she hasn't apologized or acknowledged that what she said was out of line, despite this apparent "growing up" that she's done.

Randy and I agree

View Quoted Comment If he really wants you to give her a chance, fine... AFTER the wedding. Y’all can go hang out with his group of friends. A wedding should never be used to mend broken fences.


Even if he can’t understand your hurt feelings, he needs to put your needs above another woman’s. And understand enough that his friend totally disrespected you and if you’re still hurt or uncomfortable, that should be enough for him. I would get a couple’s counseling session right away, this is a red flag issue.

Exactly as Caytlyn noted, "The bigger issue is that your FH is continuing a friendship with someone who doesn’t respect his relationship and FW."

But on the flip side, your wedding isn't until 2022 and who knows how friendships and relationships will be at the beginning of the year when you'll start your STDs and Invites. I wouldn't even stress about it yet. If they're still friends when you're sending invitations out, I'd be more concerned why they are still "friends."

If it was years ago, I wouldn't stress it. Does she support your relationship now? If she does then I don't see a problem with her being there if he wants her there and she is his friend. However, if she still has any ill intentions towards you or your relationship than it would be an EASY NO for me lol

I Definitely Would Not Invite Her And i Wouldnt Change That Decision. He Should Understand Why.

That would be a huge no from me! I would be adamant that she is not coming to the wedding. I think you also need to address the issue of him still being friends with a person that is clearly against your relationship.

People change. I'm not the same person I was before I started dating my hubby a few years ago. He's not the same person he was either. Neither are the majority of our friends. A wedding is BOTH partners' day. Not just the brides. I understand being upset initially, but at some point you need let it go. It happened years ago, at a bar (where people tend to be drunk and stupid), and at the end of the day... he's marrying you. Voice your opinion, but if he's adamant about inviting her, it's pretty crappy to tell him he's not allowed. Not everyone is going to love you or your FH all the time. My hubby did some stupid things early on in our relationship and my best friend of 20+ years wasn't a fan of him. Part of that was she never really gave him a chance. But after spending time with him and seeing the changes he's made in his life, she 100% loves him now and realized that she was being pretty judgy about the whole thing. Now with all that being said... if this friend of your FH is still saying these things then yes by all means... don't invite her. But if it's all stemming from 1 incident several years ago...I think it's a bit much.

Yeah, that’s a no. My husband had a friend who did something like this and I just couldn’t have him at our wedding it felt so wrong.

Oh hellllll NO! I just read your comment saying, that it's a "red flag to him that I won’t give her a chance"... I'm sorry, WHAT?! It's a HUGE red flag that he wants her there in the first place. Absolutely not. She literally told him to break up with you, in front of you, and had a crush on him. How does he not understand that is not ok?!

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Agree with this completely.

If we disinvited anyone who told my now husband to break up with me his side of the list would be very short HAHA!

I hope you ended up saying no.