Fiancé wants to invite a girl who told him to break up with me

I would holf your ground on this one. It strikes me as pretty odd that he wants her there. Is there another reason why? Like she is part of a group? Either way, this would be a huge no from me. I would write your fiance a letter about how you feel and see if he reconsiders.

This would be a huge no for me. Not so much because she had a crush on him, but the fact that she blatantly disrespected you to your face! I can’t believe your fiancé would even be friends with this person after that, let alone want her at your wedding! If it were me, I would tell him she is absolutely not invited to the wedding, and he is more than welcome to let her know exactly why.

That would be a hard no. Your guests in attendance are supportive of your relationship and someone working hard to split you up does not get that honor to attend.

I would say no. That would bother me a lot. Because if the shoe was on the other foot, your FH might not approve. Def stand your ground.

Agreed, hold your ground. Weddings are a celebration of a relationship and belong to you and the people who helped make you who you are as a couple. She doesn’t belong there.

No. The bigger issue is that your FH is continuing a friendship with someone who doesn’t respect his relationship and FW.

I agree that she has no business being at your wedding if she behaved like that to your face. Is he maybe concerned about her being the only one in that group not invited? Maybe he’s worried about fallout/drama from not inviting her. I don’t know. Explain it the way you did to us- only people who are supportive of your relationship are invited to celebrate your marriage. Inviting someone who was disrespectful toward you should be a definite no, no argument.

I agree with you and I also agree with PP that said the bigger issue is him wanting to be friends with someone that doesn’t respect you. It’s so much easier for him to not invite her in order to help you not be upset.

I think you need to have a hard talk with him and as others have said ask him why is it so important he wants her there. Also, let him know that having her there considering that she told him to break up with you years ago and how you feel disrespected that he would want her there. Maybe ask him how would he feel if you invited a friend that told you to break up with him. I doubt he would like that. This is a serious discussion you two should have and it is concerning he wants her there even if they were not close.

I totally understand why you have a problem with this, but I also kind of understand why your fiancé still wants to invite her. Her telling him to break up with you is the defining moment in your relationship with her, so that's what you think of when you see her. But that moment wasn't important to your fiancé. If it had been, he would've broken up with you. Instead, he ignored her, kept dating and eventually proposed to you. In his mind, he solved the problem a long time ago and probably doesn't get why you still see it as a problem, since you ended up with him. Ideally think the fact that you're upset about this would be enough for him to drop the issue even if he doesn't fully understand why you're upset, but it can be hard to do that. Since its unlikely that he's going to suddenly understand why, in your eyes, she's bad or that you're going to wake up not kind of hating her for trying to break up your most important relationship, you may want to make this decision more objectively.



If she's part of his friend group from college, would she be the only person in that group not to be invited to the wedding? If so, I think you should let it go if it's not going to take away from your ability to enjoy planning the wedding. If there are other people from that group, who you see at least as often as her, that are not being invited, then she should definitely not be invited.

View Quoted Comment He says that he would be upset if his friend was not there, he insists that she has changed since college and that I try to give her a chance. He said that it was years ago and that I shouldn’t be upset and that it is a red flag to him that I won’t give her a chance. She has never apologized to me and quite honestly it isn’t something that I feel like I can forgive. I am not saying that he can’t be friends with her, I just would not like someone who reminds me of a time I was very upset to be at my wedding. It’s deeply upsetting to me that he thinks it’s not a big deal because it was a long time ago (3 years) . He said if the roles were reversed he would not be upset by it. I just don’t understand why this isn’t something he is willing to compromise on.

Uhhhh that’s a no for me. How would he feel it it was reversed?

Sit down and talk to him so that your feelings and his are in the open. Then figure out to compromise and go forward..

Umm, No, no & no!

View Quoted Comment Right! I agree. This is partially why we are eloping.

View Quoted Comment I 100% agree with you- You absolutely should not have somebody at your wedding who is going to make you feel anything less than loved & supported. And the fact that your fiancé doesn’t understand that is very upsetting. To be honest, this is really all his fault. When she said that in front of you, he should have immediately shut it down and told her that if she could not be respectful to his partner, that he would no longer be able to maintain a friendship with her. He also should have sat her down privately after the incident and explained to her how important you are to him, and insisted that she apologize to you for her behavior. To be honest, if this girl was truly such a great friend to him, she should have wanted, and volunteered, to apologize to you! And the fact that this happened three years ago and you have had zero interaction with her since then only reaffirms the fact that she is in no way involved in or supportive of your relationship. I think your fiancé needs to take stock of his priorities right now. It basically comes down to which is more important: Respecting your fiancé and valuing her happiness on one of the biggest, most important days of her life... or inviting a person who you see a couple times a year. Like you said, you are not trying to prevent him from being friends with her. Which is probably more than most women would do, considering the circumstances! And if your fiancé truly felt that she had changed and grown as a person and that he would like the two of you to try again on a friendship, he should have initiated that over the past three years – not on your wedding day! Dang girl, I am so sorry you are being put in this position!

View Quoted Comment 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

View Quoted Comment You know...you’re right

View Quoted Comment
Girrrrrrl....

I wouldn't budge on this. There is no reason for her to be there on such a special day. I would say its a hard no.