Fiancé wants to declare marriage

My (25F) fiancé (26M) doesn’t want a wedding at all.


We were supposed to get married last December, but his family has never liked me (9 years together) and got SO nasty during the planning process, using the wedding as a tool to tear me down relentlessly—“I can’t do anything right” type of comments, constantly—that I called the wedding off because I felt like I’d be fighting for my place not only on my wedding day but forever after. We actually separated for a bit and went through counseling to find a way for our relationship to withstand his family’s interference.
Fast forward, things are now back on track and we’ve set healthy boundaries with and gotten physical distance from his family; things between fiancé and I have been great. We decide we want to elope. I started talking about selling my old wedding dress and buying a new, casual elopement dress, both because I’ve lost 25 pounds since having it fitted and because it’s a reminder of the painful events of last year. He immediately clams up and tells me he didn’t know we were dressing up. I said I still want a wedding day, he says he doesn’t ever want to talk or think about wedding attire, photography, ceremonies, plans, etc. ever again after all the drama last year, that he just wants to go in and file the paperwork and be done with it. I get where he’s coming from, but ouch 😭
I’m honestly crushed. I really don’t have high expectations, but I want a wedding day. My own family is very broken, and my fiancé has been my chosen family since I was 16; making it official is such a special occasion to me and I want to feel and look like I’m experiencing one of the most important events in my life. I want significant memories and photographs of this day. I don’t want to just sign paperwork and get it over with. And I’m hurt that the trauma from last year apparently outweighs the excitement and accomplishment of us working so hard to get back here.
I don’t want to force or beg him. How sad is a wedding day where one person is forced to be there? I just don’t really know how to proceed at this point, and I feel like I have no choice but to give up my dreams of having even an elopement wedding day.