Fiance stressing about money

View Quoted Comment We do have a budget set

View Quoted Comment We do have a budget and a budget break down of the venders.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!!! I have found if I call his mom and talk to her about it before I tell him I made a decision that I know he isn’t happy about he will then call her to vent and she helps him understand better. I hate having to do it that way but big purchase like our photographer it reduced fighting.

View Quoted Comment We do have a budget and a outline and I have been really good at keeping it under the budget and waiting for sales. So to me that means the saving can move to other stuff as back up funds. Like for example we saved $900 on florist so I used that saving to go towards our photographer. Because I dont want a cheap photographer and have bad pictures.

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I can't help much with the MUA/hair. Since I would want my bridal party's contribution before signing a contract paying for them. I don't trust people to get money to me after the fact...

However, I can speak to photographer costs. Editing every image may take somewhere between 10-20 minutes. The time will be on the lower end if the photographer has more experience with editing, better software, and gets better images from the getgo. I received 703 photos - based on 10 minute editing time, my photographer spend about 7030 minutes total (for the ones I got, he may have taken a lot more). That breaks down into 117 hrs (17.5 days). Plus the 6-8 hours of photography the day of. If the package is $2k, that means the photographer is making a bit over $15/hr. Add on consultation time, travel time, engagement photos, wedding album time, etc...

My photographer only charged 1.5k so he only made about $12/hr - just for the events and photo editing.A 1k budget means the photographer is making around $8/hr or less. Here's a guide that breaks down some of why the cost what they do.

If your FH still does not feel like a photographer should be making that much, then hopefully he'll just realize how important it is for you, and be flexible.

View Quoted Comment So I’m planning and paying for everything we do have a budget and have been below it with everything with the exception of our photographer because I don’t agree with what he thinks is a good deal (he wanted under $900) I am a cheap and crafty person so I try my best to do things myself then buy it pre done.

View Quoted Comment We do have a budget of $15k and I’ve been good so far at mostly sticking with it with the exception of our photographer.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been part of a few wedding so I know that it’s not cheep and have a very crafty family. I have showed him that I have been under budget and how much the total is at so far which is sitting at $6k of the $15k. And besides my dress and food most of the vendors are booked.

I used to have the complete opposite problem. My fiancé doesn’t care about money, he actually wanted us to spend 15K on a venue that didn’t include any services. Then we had to do food, decor and everything else. I am the one always reminding him of the budget and when I am stressing out because things can’t go out of the budget, he says “let’s just spend more” lol

View Quoted Comment I have friends back in Cali that are photographer so I understand the breaks do of it like you said. He doesn’t. I also talked with his mom about it too and she understands the cost. His mom had been a big help with him understanding weddings.

Have you looked into A Practical Wedding? The book is pretty reasonable, but most of the resources are available free online anyways. The gist of it is you and your fiance choose the top three things that matter most to you at the wedding and then comparing your lists, so you better understand each others decisions. It might help you guys if you have something like that laid out that shows your priorities and what the one thing each of you is most willing to splurge on and where you're willing to go budget friendly.

Fiance thinks the photographer is expensive? Refer to the list where it's your #1 priority and splurge item! Especially since you're already doing so well with budgeting and getting things at or below your projected costs, it might help you to see each other's perspectives. Looking at the entire cost of the wedding is seriously anxiety inducing! But taking a step back and reframing it as "this is the cost to provide great hospitality for our guests, be surrounded by all the people we love, and have our memories of the night captured forever" (or whatever your top priorities are) makes it a lot easier to swallow!

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And some people never do. The breakdown usually helps, but artists are often undercut with the "well, why don't they work for just cost of materials." My husband (a mixed-media artist) refuses to do commission work partially because of this.

Hopefully, you can just get him to agree to your photographer budget simply because it's a top priority to you. With a 15k budget, it should be a reasonable thing to budget a bit more towards. He can "agree to disagree" whether it's worth it, but hopefully he can just get on-board money-wise for your sake.

Nope. It was the other way around. I was such a jew to make sure all my vendors were affordable. FH insisted on having two photographers which added to the cost and insisted on inviting so many people. When I added it all up he asked how it was that high. Welp, figure it out at this point. I told him time and time again about the guest list lol.

View Quoted Comment I'm doing something similar although he keeps doing things to help out.... he surprised me when I found my dress and sent $1,000 directly to my bank account with "For your dress" in the memo.

To answer your question, do you have to discuss every option with him? My FH and I have just silently worked out something where I don't ask if his opinion unless I'm unsure or need his opinion.

Your FH, like I'm sure most guys, is just experiencing sticker shock because they probably don't realize how much weddings cost. But if you've discussed your budget and everything is going well then great. It sounds like he's just airing out his opinions.

Me on the other hand I'm the nit-picker and my FH is the spender. There's been plenty of times when we've celebrated saving money on our wedding.

View Quoted Comment I hope he does get on board soon.

View Quoted Comment Thank you!! We did agree on a budget. It’s $15k. And we have been keeping most things under budget.

View Quoted Comment That is one of the biggest fights was also about the photographer and I am like you!!! They are the rest of our lives!! Mine is $2800 and I think it’s a great deal.

View Quoted Comment I wish he was more loose with the finance especially because it’s not his money paying for it. I am the one fully funding this my self and he is taking care of our house funds.