Fiance is struggling with picking his groomsman....

My FH isn't close with either of his brothers. As a result, he did not ask them to be groomsmen in our wedding. His parents asked him why he didn't ask his brothers and he just told them the truth - that he's really not close with his brothers and he would rather have his friends stand up there with him. His parents seemed to accept that.

To make them feel somewhat included, we did order boutonnieres for them and we may have his youngest brother sing while our guests are entering the church.

We were thinking we could make him an usher. I think his mom will support whatever we decide, but we are worried about his dad's reaction. Right now his dad just keeps saying "give it time." Well, we dont have time, we want to ask our wedding party and move on to other details!! UGGGG!!!

You still have a while until your wedding. I would hold off on asking your wedding party for a little while - you can still plan other details of your wedding without picking your wedding party yet

Thinking that asking somebody to be in the wedding will fix the relationship is like thinking that having a baby will save the marriage. In other words, it's cr*p, it doesn't work.

Many times wedding put a strain on the best and strongest relationships. If they're not very close now, it will only get worse with the wedding. Don't give him random jobs, that's not an honor. Choose people you want to stand by you on your wedding day and that's it.

P.S. it is too early to actually ask people to be in your WP.

I agree Mrs S...I have told my fiance that I do not want him in our wedding as I do not feel he is a special part of our lives, but I have also told him that it is up to him, as it is his brother! You said it is too early...when is the right time?? I get worried with it being a destination wedding that I need to give the wedding party time to save!! Plus, were having our engagement party in October and I feel like everyones wondering!!

Oh, I didn't realize you have a DW. DW weddings are on a somewhat different schedule, but also mostly have smaller WPs. How far is the wedding for everyone?

Obviously it is your FH's decision, but the only thing I regret about our wedding is choosing a WP based on some obligation or doing the *right* thing. So now we're not on speaking terms with the best man at all, and barely talking to the MoH.

We went through this too, though added to the problem is that FH is close with my brother. He didn't feel like he could have my brother and not his own two brothers as well.

At this point, he is going to ask his brothers, my brother, and two friends. He feels kind of bitter he only gets two friends when I get five, but I reminded him that no guys are probably going to begrudge not being in the wedding! Plus, they understand we have way too many brothers between us!

Christine that is the other issue...he has 2 sisters and he doesnt feel that it is fair to have them in the wedding but not his brother! I know we are going to upset people in this process, but it is our day and I think we need to do what WE want...I just feel bad that he is having to make such a difficult decision!!

Mrs S. we live in St Louis, MO so its a decent hike to Punta Cana! I agree, I dont want regrets!! I personally do not feel obligated to have him in our wedding (did I mention he hasnt even said congrats to us yet?!?!) and am afraid if he is in it that he will ruin our day because it will be awkward. I know its up to my fiance, it just sucks because it is such a sticky situation!!

Well, that is a decent hike LOL! Then you should probably ask them soon.

My sister wasn't my MOH. My H has 2 brothers, and only one was the BM. Once everybody was clear on who's doing what, I really didn't think it was awkward.

How about not having a wedding party at all? or just one bridal party on your end as well as his.. you can still invite his brother to the wedding and its up to him whether he goes or not.. hopefully it all works out in the end!!

I went through the same thing with my first cousin, we grew up together and were really close, during our high school years we became distant because of rumors and things that i heard and some she admitted to, after all that i tried to mend our relationship even tho she did me wrong ..she acted as if she didnt ever wanna do anything and hangout so i said skip it then, if she werent family i wouldnt have gave a damn...but it was worth the tries....eventually i found my BFF and we have been friends for a long time now and now that im getting married her mom (aunt) was saying how she was confused as to why she(cousin) wasnt my MOH... Im like huhhh???? But yea there is no way my cousin deserves that spot on a very important day...and shes not even reliable, and they act as tho shes not in it at all...shes a BM..Be happy with that....but it is what it is....ur FH should not worry too much about it, if his bro really wants to be his best man he should show that he does ..hang out more, etc.

Thanks for all of your suggestions ladies!! I am glad to see that we are all on the same page...now just for the fiance to decide what in his heart he knows is right and will make our day the best day ever!!

You do have time. You have LOTS of time. You can decide like a month before the wedding if they're renting tux's. For guys it's no big deal unless you're anal and need pictures even with the sam amount bm's as gm. I would ask the guys he knows he wants and leave asking his bro till like May