Fiancé hasn’t told anyone about our engagement

View Quoted Comment If he doesn’t have time to see them, then he needs to at least make time to call them. As a PP said, call his mom when you and FH are with each other and tell her.

View Quoted Comment I feel as though he was pressured too by my best friend (he bought me a ring & he showed her. She said that he should use that to propose with when he just had the idea to give it as a promise ring. I had a promise ring from him but it actually broke) & having that fear he was going to lose me. I even talked to my best friend & she feels as though he only proposed out of fear of losing me.

Personally, I disagree with PPs who have said that him not telling anyone is a red flag. If he isn't really close with anyone, why would that be a big deal to him? Does he tell his family or friends about other big life events right away? Have you told him that this is important to you?

My fiance didn't really tell anyone for a little while. It wasn't because he wasn't excited to get married, it's just that he doesn't care about posturing for people or having people know the intimacies of his life. When I told him that it was important to me that he tell at least his parents, he did. Anyone else, he's told on his own time.

I know we're just strangers on the internet. This seems like a red flag to me. I also think it's a red flag that he proposed after you threatened to kick him out, essentially and he came back with a proposal. That's kind of enabling him to have you aid him further. In my opinion, from what you've said. You also haven't said how excited you are that you're marrying him, just that you're engaged. Just because you've invested a lot of time in this relationship, doesn't mean you have to stick with it. I don't know anything, of course, about y'all. I just wanted to remind you of this. You only get one life. Best of luck to you, I hope all goes well!

View Quoted Comment Thank you for your honesty. I am excited but just seeing his actions (not telling his family, etc) makes me not want to express my excitement because I fear the feeling of being hurt if it doesn’t work out. I will take what you said to further think about the relationship. Thank you!

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This comment expressed exactly what I was thinking when I read your post. My thoughts from your post/comments alone are that he isn't feeling ready to marry you and proposed to keep you around because he knew you wanted that. I'm not saying whether or not he wants to be with you, but it kind of feels like he's just not ready and keeping it to himself means he doesn't have to admit that, so to speak. I think you need to have a long and honest conversation with him about how it's hurting you and try to find out the real reason he's avoiding it. If he keeps making excuses, it should show you that he isn't ready for real and genuine open conversations. If he really is concerned about how his family will negatively respond like PP mentioned, he should be able to tell you that honestly. Good luck!!

I have a similar issue. My bf and I have been together for 4.5 years. We have a daughter that we planned 2 years ago. But since then things have change from his side. The romance is slowly going away and sex is almost gone. But anyway we were talking about our financial situation and insurance and he said why don't we get married and then you can go on my insurance. I asked him if that's really what he wants to do and he said yes. Well I got so excited and started to tell his mom sister and my mom a few days later. They were so excited except him. He told me he didn't want people to kn that we would just go to the court house and then surprise everyone and tell them we got married. Knowing my family, that wouldn't go well. Plus that's not what I had in mind at all. I told him I would compromise with him that I would marry him at the court house with are parents there only. Then have a big party with family there to celebrate. He agreed with me until his sister and I started talking about it. Now all he does is complain that he doesn't want a "big" wedding and says he's not going to drink and enjoy himself. He even put the words out there "I didn't propose to you so your not engaged. There is no ring on your figure you shouldn't tell people your engaged" I would respond with "were getting married aren't we? So then were engaged." He got weird when he found out I bought a wedding dress and he said he won't dress up. Then gets more upset when I tell are 2 best friends that were getting married. His friend even told him he has to compromise. I just feel like at this point I'm not allowed to tell anyone and I can't invite too many people to the party and noone but my parents see us marry.... it just sounds like he doesn't want this. Last night we had a talk and he said he wants to marry me. I don't believe he's ready. Or maybe he wants it his way or the highway idk. But ikn that I already sacrificed alot for it to compromise.