Fiancé has a hyphenated last name

I personally hate my hyphenated last name, can not wait to change it. It's a pain when getting a new job, going to the bank anything when you need to use your full name. I also personally only go by the one, so the second only comes out when needing to use full legal name. If his friends/family/acquaintances use the full hyphenated name all the time, it might be less of a pain. Like if his full name is John Smith-Williams, and he introduces himself that way ALL the time vs people only knowing him by "John Williams" maybe its easier? Ultimately, you live with it and it's not that big of a deal, but it's definitely a bit more difficult than just having one.

My friend married a guy with a hyphenated last name, she opted to take one of the names due to the circumstances. So his name is Alex Smith-Johnson and hers is Kate Smith (obviously not their real names).

My FH has one and even thought I love it I am not taking it. It’s his dad’s and mom’s. I’m keeping my last name and of course he is not happy about that.. I told him he can drop one of his dad’s last names since he’s dad left them when the was 3 and his stepdad raised him and his siblings as his own. That way he can add mine so we can both be happy and hyphenate it like that but he doesn’t want to so🤷🏽‍♀️

My FH has one. He has “paternal surname, maternal surname” but he mostly introduces himself with his paternal surname.

My kids from a previous relationship have the same order to their surnames. They tend to use their second surname (mine) more because it’s shorter.

FH and I have a son together with paternal and maternal surnames and we shall see how he chooses to use them when he is older.

They know that when they get married or have kids that they pass on the paternal name. The maternal name stays with them.

Hi there Emma

Welcome to the WeddingWire community.

Some great feedback here from members on having a hyphenated last name.

Are you leaning toward taking his hyphenated last name? How are you feeling about the decision now?

My mother was married originally and took his name. When they divorced she took her old last name. When she got married to my dad she hyphenated her name (birth last name and his name) Hers is Mchenry-Kitson and usually she goes by exactly that and will introduce herself that way. When I was born my parents weren't married so they could have done hyphenated but didn't. I only got my dads last name. When My mom does decorations for the household she does "McKitson" lol she likes hers though she says it has a ring to it. I plan on taking my FH name and dropping mine... Fun side note all my siblings (besides my brother) decided to take hyphenated names..

I was wondering if he could maybe splice his hyphenated surname into a single one?

You would then have the option to hyphen yours to the new surname.

Ugh if you can avoid it, do. My mom has a hyphenated last name and insisted on giving me a hyphenated first name. It is HORRIBLE when it comes to the government or the hospital. Trust me when I say you do not want to deal with a hyphenated name when you're giving birth and keeping track of who that baby belongs to. If there's one thing I could go back and change about my parents' past, out of everything, it would be that stupid hyphenated name. 200%.

I’m not sure what I’ll be doing. I hear hyphenated names are terrible legally but so is having different surnames from your spouse and kids. The government and health industry just can’t figure it out. Hospitals and airports are especially bad. But my FH is Mexican and their tradition is to have paternal and maternal last names (his is not hyphenated, just two last names). He goes by both together, as they sound really cool. I meanwhile have my dad’s last name and will be a doctor (so Dr. __). I’d ideally have us and our future kids with the same, one surname. But he’s estranged from his father, so I think he’d prefer to keep his maternal. Except that he should technically pass on the paternal and I think he’d like to keep his name exactly as is, two surnames. If I followed his tradition, he and I would keep our different surnames and our kids would be Gomez Luettgen. Which frankly sounds terrible. We’ll probably end up being the Gomezes or his mom’s name. Gomez is the easiest to give at restaurants (lol) but Elise goes better with the other.

My husband has a hyphenated last name and I am thinking of just taking the first half of the name so we don't have to go through the hassle of him going to court to drop the second part of his name. Hs anyone run into any issues with this? I read somewhere that Social Security is ok with this but the DMV may not allow it depending on the state.

View Quoted Comment Can you do that legally? I’m getting married soon and don’t know if I have to take the hyphenated names or if it’s appropriate like valid and legally to take just the second name. He only goes by one main name and uses the other when he has to (applying for jobs, etc.)

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I have the same question!