Fiance doesn't want to get married???

FSS...Now we have God, a male creationist God no less, in the mix, and the man as head of household. A household that, of course, include one man and one woman. A woman who isn't domineering.

This is a line of illogic that doesn't even deserve a response. Because mine would get me banned again.

My original response required deletion.

To indirectly quote My Big Fat Greek Wedding: FH may be the head, but I am the neck! Roar! One can't live without the other, what can i say, he needs me. #partnership #tagteam #nogoats

@Laura, I don't believe in god and if I did, I have a feeling we wouldn't believe in the same god. Love is compromise, working through the tough times and making decisions that work for the people actually in the relationship. Marriage is a choice and if a couple chooses to stay together without marriage, then that doesn't mean the man (or woman) is just waiting for something better to come along. In addition, many women aren't taking their husband's last name. That isn't a gift from a man to a woman. That is also a choice.

Laura saying posters were lacking love in their responses to her first comment, yet she went ahead and made a discriminatory comment in her second. Even the first comment. Whole lotta love there. None of that sounds like an equal, loving partnership to me.

Troll Week continues...or at least, I hope this is part of Troll Week, with that logic...

Renee M, my input to your dilemma ask yourself is it time to move on? One thing for sure you're in your crosswalk because you would have never placed the statement here in this forum about your fiance. You wanted to know about other people's opinion but your opinion is the only one that counts. you're at one of the biggest crossroad of your life ; take that Crossroad carefully. Have things changed? How many more years our we going to be like this? How many more years do I want to be single. 2020 is a long time away that's three more years added to the years that you have already sat as as a single woman. When you ask yourself what do I want? When you come to an conclusion then stick with your answer. Get the best out of life for you. Wishing you the best.

@Laura My FH loves it when I "domineer" him. It's one of the ways we Honor our holy Love. But not to worry - we always use safe words, just as God intended.

@OP - do YOU want to get married? Is that a thing in your life that matters? If so, then tell him that so long as he's cool with it either way you want this to happen. If not, maybe save the money.

@Delfina, "we always use safe words, just as God intended." I'm crying and wishing I could post the crying-laughing face emoji.

This whole situation is a little too relaxed for me. Nothing sounds definite. You need to sit down with a large cup of java and ask some straightforward questions and not move until you get some straightforward answers. When he told you he didn't care whether you got married or not and was only doing it for you, raised a HUGE red flag for me.

When me and my husband were getting very serious in dating, he told me that he had never saw himself getting married and didn't necessarily care to but he knew how important it was to me and because of that, he really wanted to get married. I panicked because I didn't want him to feel pressured into doing something just for me. The more we talked I realized he didn't mean it in a bad way. He just meant he was happy with us and he saw marriage as that piece of paper. So we waited awhile and we talked about it multiple times and made sure it was what we both really wanted. He now sees it as more than a piece of paper and understands all that it means to me. I think he would have been happy with or without it but I wanted to be married. But I recommend talking it all out multiple time and making sure your both getting what you want.

Also what the hell did these comments turn into? Getting married wasn't just a gift/honor to me. DH is #blessed to have me!

This thread is getting off track. The OP has a guy who apparently is not seeing marriage the same way she does. From what I read he doesn't seem very serious. I'd put the brakes on this deal.

I want to thank everyone for there opinions and for those of you who suggested counciling we did start going very recently (as per my request) and adding on to my earlier comment on his dad never getting married his mother marriages always ended in divorce and there are many unhappy marriages in his family so his opinion on marriage was for good reason and also why I was so surprised that he had changed his mind. I've wanted to get married for a few different reasons first of I'm just like any other girl that dreams of her wedding but other than that I also already handle both of our finances (due to the fact I'm way better at math than he is) so I thought being married might make it easier (it seams to be harder to get a home loan in both names if you are not married), my biggest reason as someone said earlier if something happened to either one of us if we aren't married the other would have no say in anything and we know neither of our parents would respect what we would want in that senario, another only little reason is I still have my birth fathers last name (never figured out how to change it to my mother) so just to have another name that's not connected to the man that left me. I obviously have alot more reasons that I have thought about but as I said I knew how he felt in the beginning and I was ok with it. I've known this man since I was a little kid just 9 years old after moving to a new town. We grew up together and his family was my home away from home for many years. So ide say I know this man pretty damn well and I have never seen him just change his mind on something he was so set on his whole life. So I guess that's why I'm second guessing it.

Our engagement will have been for 2 years. When I first told FH I was planning he freaked out engaged and all.. Lol now the time is winding down and he has gotten a lot more relaxed and excited about it. I think just give him time.