Skip to main content
ARE YOU A VENDOR?

Post content has been hidden

To unblock this content, please click here

Brianna
Dedicated September 2020

Fiancé doesn’t go to church, i want to get back in church

Brianna, on April 6, 2019 at 7:14 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 16
Saved
Reply
I grew up in the church. As a child I loved going to church. But as I got older and had more autonomy I stopped going. Now I go to church less than 5 Sunday’s a year, and I would really like to get back into my church. My fiancé never went to church growing up. It’s just not something his parents did nor made or encouraged him to do. He does consider himself a Christian, he believes in God, but I would like to encourage him to start coming to church with me. In the past, he has shown interest in coming with me but his work schedule makes it difficult (he works 3rd shift and lots of overtime). What would be a good way to bring this back up again and ask him to join me in church? I feel like this would be great for our relationship, especially since I will be asking my pastor to officiate our wedding next year. Maybe some suggestions for if he can’t always attend service on Sunday but can still be involved in church?

16 Comments

Latest activity by Sarah, on October 4, 2020 at 12:13 PM
  • Summerbride77
    VIP July 2019
    Summerbride77 ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Is there an evening service during the week you could attend? Or gatherings outside of service that would give him the opportunity to be involved with the community.


    • Reply
  • M
    Devoted May 2019
    ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    What first poster said. And if you guys can get to a place where no overtime is needed then surely invite him. Otherwise go. Even if he doesn’t go with you. Smiley smile he'll see that.
    • Reply
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    There should be evening services at various churches if your church doesn’t have one. Also, I’ve seen churches do online streaming.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I’m in a similar situation but I accept that he doesn’t want to go. I go anyway for me. But I invite him when we have a dinner or event and he goes with me.
    • Reply
  • Hermione
    Expert February 2020
    Hermione ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Work the service around his schedule. Like 5pm on Friday.
    • Reply
  • Katie
    Devoted September 2020
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    So I'm like your husband - didn't grow up going to church, don't consider myself a Christian, but I believe in God. I honestly would love it if my FH did go and tried to bring me with him! As I've gotten older, I can see the value in having a community of people like that in your life. I've even looked up non denominational churches in my area and thought about just showing up.

    No advice here really, other than keep trying and i hope you figure it out!
    • Reply
  • Masonbride
    Dedicated June 2019
    Masonbride ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Really what PP said, also the live stream is a good way to feel like you both are there you can discuss it afterwards that way too
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    Go gently with this. Going to church is not like going to the movies, just a companionable thing to do. His not going may be rooted in not wanting the specific doctrine of how a church views God, or he may dislike being preached at. You need to decide: If it turns out he goes a few times, then stops, and says, I will go to other people's events, weddings and funerals, or social things, like church suppers and fairs, but not to services >>> what will this mean to you? Now is a good time to find out.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Expert October 2019
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I'm in the same boat. I go to church and bible study, my bible study group meets when my fh is still working so he rarely ever comes to that. I pray about it and ask the Lord to open his heart to coming more often with me. I always ask if he wants to go to church, sometimes he does and sometimes he doesn't. I always tell him what the sermon was about too. I can't force him to go, and if I did he'd probably resent me, so I always ask and remind him that he's always welcome.
    • Reply
  • S
    Devoted May 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I'm the same as your husband whereas I didn't grow up in church and went here and there in my early 20's. My FH was avidly involved in church through high school. We found a multi-denominational church (what they call it) which preaches strictly by the word, helping you understand it. Never feel left out or like they are harping on you for any wrongdoings. If your church may not be a fit for him, are you open to "shopping" around?
    • Reply
  • MIWM
    VIP June 2019
    MIWM ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    My fiancé does not attend church so I go alone. Nothing wrong with going to church alone.

    • Reply
  • Rachel
    Expert September 2019
    Rachel ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    I go, FI doesn't. Once in a while he will pop in for a holiday or special occasion. Maybe someday he will start attending regularly, but the likeliest way to make that happen, if he has said he is currently opposed to it, is to just lead by example and see if he ever comes to you to talk about it.

    • Reply
  • Allie
    Master August 2019
    Allie ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    We don't have a "home" church but we go to the one I grew up in when we get the chance. We do a daily devotional for engaged or married couples and my FH finds a lot more joy in that than going to church. Maybe you could carve out time each week to do a devotion together.

    • Reply
  • F
    Super April 2019
    Future Mrs. Polar Bear ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content

    Hmmm...I'd say the decision is really his, whether he wants to be involved, or a practicing Christian or not.

    Since he works 3rd shift, it doesn't sound like he'd ever be able to go with you. I'd find out some ways he could be involved with the church (like you said) and bring them up to him, to see if he'd like to do any. If he doesn't though, don't be offended just realize that this is one of those things that he isn't into and may be a "time away from the husband" thing for you.

    It's better to be soft with him now about it, because once you get into it, he may decide "hey yea I want to try that out" instead of trying to push it on him right away (not saying you are just using it as an example).

    • Reply
  • Alyssa
    Just Said Yes October 2022
    Alyssa ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    I'm in the exact same boat right now. My fiance is a Christian and he believes, but he stopped going with me. He went every once in a while and I know he does love the pastor and the church itself, but he simply doesn't go. There is always an excuse with work (As he closes at a fast food place) or other things. But I also do late nights and still go. To me, if he can't go to church and have a relationship with God that is not a relationship I need. I'm literally sobbing writing this because I don't want to admit that. I don't want to raise my kids in church and have them ask me why I go and daddy doesn't.
    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    • Hide content
    View Quoted Comment
    I’m not sure if you’re looking for advice but the first place I’d start is changing your mentality that attending church is a requirement in order to have a relationship with God. It is not. Plenty of people have a solid relationship with God without attending services. If attending church is important enough to you that you would choose to end a relationship over it, you need to have an open and honest conversation with your FH about that.


    Also, FWIW, my mother always brought us to church without my dad because he always worked multiple jobs on the weekends, and I never questioned why he wasn’t there and whether that meant he didn’t believe.
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

32 Thoughtful Gifts to Spoil Your Fiancé Before the Wedding Day
Married Life 32 Thoughtful Gifts to Spoil Your Fiancé Before the Wedding... Need some help with your shopping list? Check out this list of the best gifts...
23 Wedding Guest Jumpsuits That Will Get All the Compliments
Wedding Fashion 23 Wedding Guest Jumpsuits That Will Get All the Compliments... Skip the dress for one of these statement looks instead.
21 Christmas Gifts That Will Get Any Engaged Couple in the Holiday Spirit
Family & Friends 21 Christmas Gifts That Will Get Any Engaged Couple in the... Help the couple celebrate their upcoming nuptials with a thoughtful holiday...
Read more articles
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

Show more

WeddingWire article topics