Fiancé cheated...

I think the first step is to have a conversation with him. I would ask him if he is talking to/dating other women and if he denies it confront him with the evidence. Since you live together I would work out a place to stay while you cool off unless you plan on asking him to leave.

I know some women are able to get past cheating. If you are one of those women, I would consider going to counseling. But to be honest, finding out now is better than finding out after you were married. You just have to decide what is best for you.

I wouldnt get married just to save face.

So sorry to hear girl! That's aweful but as PP said, way better finding out now before than after your wedding! I'm so sorry

Oh sweetie. That is tough, but yes best to find out now instead of later!
i saw something where a bride found out her fiancé was cheating, and waited until she was at the altar to read his texts with girls instead of her vows. Then she said “we’re not having a wedding but we’re celebrating love and honesty” or something like that. He ran away, and she threw a raging party (because what else do you do when the whole thing is paid for and done?) I thought that was quite classy and at least not a wasted enormous sum of money. And embarrassed the cheater forever.
i have been cheated on before so I am a bit jaded. Sending you love, I know how it feels. Thankful not before marriage.

First I want to start out by saying I'm so sorry yhat he did that but good to know before you guys get married. You should definitely talk to him. If it is something that is unforgivable and you know you guys are done then let him know that and update your guests asap. Dont ever feel embarrassed about things that are out of your control. You know what you want and deserve so forget anyone who says otherwise.

Im really sorry. I understand feeling embarrassed but it was his actions that caused this situation, not yours. I agree with PPs, find somewhere else to stay and then talk to him and have your evidence to back you up. You have to do what’s right for you in the long run so, as tough as the decision might be, it may be best to not go ahead with the wedding and there’s no shame in that.

View Quoted Comment Crazy way to break the news to family and friends, I kinda love it tho.

So sorry your going through this, I understand your feelings of embarrassment especially after just having the shower but he’s the ONLY one who should be embarrassed. He should also be ashamed to be putting you through this in what should be the happiest time of your life. Feelings come and go, so if you feel like for whatever reason maybe your fiancé is not your forever person after finding this out, cancel the wedding. Don’t worry about what anyone else will think or say, live your life for you. If you choose to work it out, don’t rush the healing process because your wedding is in 25 days. If it needs to be postponed then so be it, wedding deposits are cheaper than a divorce, and you should feel 100% confident about your relationship with him when you walk down the isle. Xoxo be strong ❤️

I’m so sorry you are having to deal with this. If he is indeed cheating and flirting with multiple women, I feel that is a character flaw that he isn’t likely to overcome anytime soon. I’d have a conversation with him about it before you make any rash decisions. As others have said, ask him if he’s been talking to other women or cheating. See what he says. If he admits it, you might have a chance at a happily ever after, if he is legitimately sorry. However, if he lies and denies it, you have a liar and cheater on your hands and that’s a huge problem. Never feel embarrassed over something like this.

I'm so sorry! I'm sure this is so so hard. Just know that he is the only one who should be embarrassed. Sending you love.

I am so sorry you are going through this. It is horrible!

I think before you act, think about the possible outcomes and what YOU want to and what decisions you are capable of living with. Then speak to him about it and based on what you've already thought of, take some time to make decisions. Don't make rash decisions in the heat of the moment.

I also agree that you shouldn't get married just to save face. If you decide to not get married; the money you lose now will be less than the money you spend on divorce lawyers later if you decide to get married just to save face.

First off, hugs I can't even imagine what you must be going through right now. I would definitely confront him about what you found, and then go from there. With your wedding being just 25 days away, you do need to figure out whether or not you will be able to move forward and forgive him (even if it's not right away). Money aside, you need to do what's best for you. You have absolutely no reason to feel embarrassed by any of this, and don't you dare blame yourself! My thoughts are with you during this difficult time.

I am so sorry. I cant even imagine what you are feeling. But you should not feel embarrassed! He should. He should have to make the announcement if you are calling off the wedding!

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That's exactly what I was thinking :'D

I totally get feeling embarrassed. But, trust me when I say, it's worse to get married and go through this. I've been married before and I didn't trust my instinct ahead of time. I ended up stuck in the marriage for 8 years and getting it out of it was a nightmare. It was emotionally draining and it cost my a fortune. And I still felt humiliated. I was embarrassed that I let someone treat me so awfully for so long and that I had to explain why I wanted a divorce. It's just not a nice situation to be in.

When you get married, you share a happy moment with your loved ones. When you get divorced, you do it in a courtroom in front of a bunch of strangers. It feels like they are taking out your soul and laying it on the table for all of these strangers to see and judge you over. It's just awful. And it costs a lot of money.

I'm just saying all of this because, if you feel you need to end the relationship but you're worried about how it will look or what people will say because it's only 25 days out, it will be 1000 times worse if you end things after getting married. The pain is worse, it's more public, it's literally harder legally to end things, etc.

No matter the situation, it is easier to end things now, or at the very least postpone the wedding so you have time to think. But do not go through with it just because you feel like you have to. I have done that and I can wholeheartedly tell you it is the wrong decision.

Talking to other girls is not cheating on you. People can have friends of any gender, as long as they are just friends. You need to talk this through with him. If he is taking things beyond talking, even with one, don't marry him. If he is not, then see why he thinks this is okay. My husband and I both message members of the opposite sex, same people long term. But not an issue, because strictly friends, both sides. Talking or electronic talking to others is not a problem in itself, but it does depend upon what he is looking for. Meanwhile, sorry for the heartbreak. Knowing that you are better off stopping now, does not erase the hurt.

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I am guessing based on the context of the post that the conversations were way past friendly talking/conversations.

OP, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Just know that he should be the one who is embarrassed, not you. Talk to him about it and follow your gut.

Have your finances straight, what can you do for you at this moment in time? But please do not marry him. Have him announce that the wedding is off and why. you stay put and try to be strong. if family members start to reach out to you and is getting you more stressed, then tell them to hold off until you get your thoughts cleared. if you can't afford to live by yourself, then look to rent a room with a friend or post it on craigslist that you are looking for a room and the price.

I don't want to tell you what to do. It's hard giving this kind of advice when I don't know either of you but I will start by saying that how to handle this is both dependent on what you are capable of moving past and what he actually did. Flirting with other woman IS a big deal and I agree that it is a form of cheating but it is typically handled differently than sleeping with other woman. If he is sleeping with women now, I don't honestly see why he'd stop after a wedding. (That's a big IF though because I am assuming that's what is going on.) He is comfortable doing this when a lot of important people in your life are paying more attention to your relationship than usual, as they are assisting in planning, etc. If he isn't feeling guilty now knowing how heartbroken and embarrassed you would feel if you found out, that's so unfortunate but it is very telling...

If he is just flirting with other woman (I don't mean to suggest that it isn't a big deal because it is) then I would bring it up to him and see what he says. If therapy is an option, I would try that if you aren't sure you want to end your relationship.

Oh my goodness. Hugs. Only you can decide what's best for you and him. I hope it all works out

Girl definitely don’t feel embarrassed (easier said than don of course) but the only person who should be embarrassed is your (ex) fiancé for being a dog. Cheating is cheating and I’m glad you found out before marrying him. I’m sure your so overwhelmed right now but have you reached out to your vendors to see what money you can get back? If you can’t maybe you can have a nice meal with your side of the family and friends.