FH's parent's contributed to one son's wedding, but doesn't want to contribute to ours

I read your initial post and got flashbacks to being a kid with my brother and whining that he got more ice cream, or I got a bigger cookie. Aren't we supposed to grow out of this fairness/equal stuff crap when we're kids?

Life isn't fair, sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. I am so sick of hearing about fair and equal and all that garbage. Get over it. If they haven't offered money yet, they aren't going to. If there's an issue of not enough funds for the guest list then you should approach BOTH sides of the family and state that cuts need to be made. Set a number and shoot for that.

Welcome to my world.

my brother is the favorite. 4 yrs younger than me (got married 2 summers ago), my parents hosted a shower, engagement party and took everyone to an expensive restaurant for the dinner. (I do not know if they also helped with the wedding...probably) The first comment out of my dads mount was "she's old enough to pay for her own wedding" This when I hadn't asked for a thing and he hadn't even congratulated me yet. (still hasn't) I think the fact he said this when I hadn't asked for anything pissed me off more than the fact there is unfair treatment. My bro is the type to ask and I NEVER would even ever have asked. But it still fakes me furious that he would bring it up and bring it up like that.

A$$hole! Needless to say I really don't give a $hi+ if he thinks I should invite his work associates or if he wan't to walk me down the aisle, clearly neither is happening.

I think you need to look at it from both sides before you get too upset. How long ago was the other wedding? Maybe they weren't expecting to have to help out with another wedding so soon. There could also be economic reasons, they have a right to plan for their retirement so that they aren't living off their children or the state, so they may just really be focusing on that right know (which you can't fault them for). I don't want to say this in a bad way, but I would just move on and try to not let it bother you. My FH's parents helped out when his sisters each got married for the first time, but that was a long time ago and this is his first real wedding (he was married twice before, but they were both courhouse ceremonies in Germany) and they are close to retirement, so they aren't helping with anything.

If they decide not to contribute (beverages was all we wanted, nothing more), then I will have to accept that and move on and plan according to what my fiance and I can afford (which means cutting the list down). The problem is that my fiance 1) says "Don't worry about it, they will come through and help us" (which means nothing until money is in hand) and wants to continue planning as if we have their help, and 2) says if the small chance happens that they don't come through then he will pick up that portion, except we can't afford to do that and pay for everything else we budgeted for (which was everything except food, which my parents graciously offered). All I want is a simple Yes or No from his parents. They know what they can and can't afford, so I don't see why they can't give us a firm answer. I also need to make my fiance understand that we can't run ourselves into debt over a wedding because that is just stupid. I don't know where to turn at this point.