FH's dad and sister won't attend wedding if we don't invite his sister's 2 kids

OMG! What's so special about these kids that they HAVE to be there and it's a deal breaker? (sorry I don't mean it to sound mean or sarcastic).

I know I'm going to have this issue too. My FH has brother and sister with young children and I want no children there and he said that's impossible. They have to come. I already said, "well, then the parents will have to pay for their plates". He didn't have an answer for that. Why should we pay another $1000 (10 kids) esp when I know the kids are not going to eat that much anyway. Just a few bites then they run around all over the place.

Why can't parents hire babysitters? My sister said she doesn't want her kids at reception (they are well behaved) because she said she wants to have fun and not have to watch them all night long. She'll hire a baby sitter or she suggested place all the kids in a separate room at reception venue and hire someone to watch them. That's under consideration too. But I prefer adults only reception.

As you say "good riddance" that's just terrible they are behaving that way.

carry on with your plans : )

Ugh they are awful. Let them act like the brats they are and carry on with your plans.

Are you serious? What is wrong with these people?

I actually feel the worst for your FH. If his family is so willing to throw away one of the biggest days of his life, over whether or not his horrible sister's kids are invited to a decidedly non-kid-friendly situation (seriously, how would it even be fun for them? If you're a mom, isn't this something you think about?) -- that's just sad. I mean, yes, good riddance, obviously they suck -- but that's still his family and that has to be pretty hurtful to him. I hope you guys have some good friends (or your family) who can "adopt" him since his is so full of BS.

They're basically choosing sides and being super selfish. If they think you two aren't that important to attend the wedding or be cordial enough to get you a freaking gift then screw them. Then you can make room for others who actual care for you and want to be there to support you.

Or if you don't want to make it into some sort of dram thing then you can agree to invite the kids even though it's unfair to your other guests but they should pay for them.

UGH. i am so sorry you and your FH are having to deal with this. i am with you 100% -- i would have stuck to my guns too... it is YOUR wedding, and if you and your FH made that decision together - it should be respected. it is not uncommon at ALL for children not to be included at a reception (which it seems she would know from what you said)... this should be a happy time of celebration and bringing people together, and i'm sorry they have chosen the low road.

@ Kiley: What makes it even more sad is that he is adopted. They adopted him when he was a few days old.

What does your FH think? This is *his* family, so I'd follow his lead. If he wants to stick to your guns, great. If he wants to make an exception, support him-- it's his wedding, too. And if anyone says, "But we didn't bring *our* children!" smile wearily and say, "And we really appreciate your respecting our wishes." They'll get the drift.

My FH is definitely in agreement with me. He was actually the one that said no kids before I did. My FH will not make an exception for his sister mostly because she was rude and nasty about it and didn't even talk to us before saying she wasn't coming. I will support him in his decisions about his family. You ladies have been really helpful!

WOW. I hope his family sees what giant d-bags they're being (seriously? I still can't get over this) but in the meantime I think it's great that you're supporting his decisions and his call on this. We don't get to choose our parents, but we can choose our families to some extent, and I hope you guys are able to find a family that has its priorities in order. His parents (and definitely his sister) will regret this one day.

Stick to your guns... they aren't worth your trouble! People that try to bully others are nasty... and to threaten no gift?!!? Seriously!! and then to cancel the rehersal... come on!!!

They are being hurtful. Lets be real... Like those kids want to go to a wedding!!! I would say stick to your guns or you are setting yourself up for a lifetime of bullying. On the other hand, FH needs to decide if a fall out with his family is worth it. You could compromise & let the nieces come to dinner but have a sitter take them out if the reception when dinner ends.

Stacy- be strong and consistent! It isn't fair to the other guests who are there to have a date night without their kids. You planned it this way and you have good reasons. Good luck!

I'm stubborn so I wouldn't care if they didn't show up. I'm very proud of your FH for sticking with the plan and standing by both of your decisions.

I think you did the correct thing - they might change their minds and come but if not does not sound like that big of a lost. Especially because he and his sister are really not on friendly terms - why would you want to invite someone - family or not who ignores you when you are in the same room!!!

Stay strong.

As far as the rehearsal - just order or go for pizza!

I can understand how she feels, but at the same time she's being childish. My sister and had a falling out a year ago, and she's just barely civil to me. If she was having a wedding and said no children, yeah it would sting, because she wouldn't want her own niece's and nephew there (forget about me), but at the same time, we're not close, so it wouldn't bug me too much, I'd just decline. You FH's sister is probably pulling all this BS to get attention, and she's pulled someone in with her. You're wedding, you're day, you're rules. Period.

We felt obligated to invite her since she is in the immediate family. My FH's mom said it was a good idea even though his sister ignores him. She though we should leave it up to the sister if she wanted to attend. That way it wouldn't look like we were excluding her. His mom was so right! She looks like a huge b***h to her entire family now!! As for his dad...well he just has an ugly soul.

Wow. I was going to tell you to just have them...but their behavior is despicable. Cancelling the rehearsal? Assholes.

Ugh what is wrong with people?! some people cannot pull themseleves away from their children. I believe you should be able to get a sitter for a couple of hours every now and then. I understand how that makes some nervous, but come on. Its so sad for your FH since his family is choosing her petty argument over him. I would continue on with your planning, do things your way and see if they come around. Maybe they are all refusing to come to force your hand and they will come back. Then its on you to decide how to handle it, but I wouldnt be so willing to accept them back. Good for you two for being so strong and standing your ground (trust me, as someone who had no kids at their wedding, it was fantastic and all the parents had a blast and still tell us they had so much fun without the kids being there!)

Tell them you'll miss him.