FH Won't Dance

You could put together a short slideshow of special moments throughout your relationship. I think that would be sweet.

Why won't he dance? And lol Spazzy, it does sound super weird...

What about everyone (BP, parents of the groom, parents of the bride) dancing with you guys? And choosing a really short song? That way he can be in the centre, so nobody can really see him, and just sway back and forth, lol.

He's very self-conscious about what others think. When we are alone, he dances with me all the time. He just freaks out if anyone else sees him. It's a weird little thing with him. I thought the lessons would help, but after three months of trying that I gave up.

If you want a first dance he better f*in dance...bottom line.

Maybe he's got some extreme social anxiety. It's not as easy for some people to just dance in front of 100 people. I couldn't do it, either. I'd have a panic attack.

Haha Spazzy that sounds reminiscent of a lap dance.

OP if it's really important to you, I don't see why he wouldn't bite the bullet and sway for 2 minutes at the one and only wedding he'll have to dance it. Otherwise, other posters seem to have lots of great suggestions.

Edit: Based on Briana's comment, I'd have a come to Jesus talk with him and see what he says.

My FH also did not want to dance. But when I explained how much it meant to me he said he was willing even though he might be uncomfortable. I'm not making him do a mother-son dance though and said he doesn't have to dance the rest of the night. Asking for one dance is already a big compromise that hopefully he will agree to.

Might I suggest the first dance song "I don't dance" by Lee Brice?

My FH hates dancing...no joke he looks like Elaine...but he's dancing our first dance because he knows it's important to me. Also, a bad case of the "I don't wannas" is no reason to skip out on a first dance as husband & wife!

I think an ultimatum is NOT the way to start off a new marriage. Part of being in a successful relationship is learning to accept and acknowledge our partner's feelings. So, I wouldn't go with a "you dance with me, or I won't marry you" response. If he is self conscious about being in front of others, he most likely won't like to do anything that involves a routine. Maybe talk to your officiant about another ceremony tradition you might be able to incorporate into the reception in place of the dance.

I vote for a really really slow dance that pretty much just has you two hugging and moving very slowly. Not really dancing but passes for it.

FH is the same way. He needs to be in the right mood. And when he doesn't feel like dancing but does for me, he dances really weird. I say to him " just do what feels natural!" and he does really weird stuff. And then I go along with it And then we burst out laughing because we imagine doing that for our first dance with everyone watching.

ETA: Dry ice could also hide most of your bodies, reducing self-consciousness. You could have your parents and grandparents dancing alongside you too. All reduces focus on him.

@Spazzy, We both can sing fairly well, but I have a feeling that without a strong dose of liquid courage that won't work either. Maybe the group dance would be better, like Tania suggested. I also like the slideshow idea. I hadn't thought of that but I did see it done before at my cousin's wedding.

You can also cut short the part where you're alone on the dance floor - maybe 30-45 seconds of music, then the bridal party and parents all join you on the floor and hide you, or the best man/other guy agrees to 'tap in' and he can sit down.

Will he agree if you cut the dance short, like 60 seconds. My FH hates dancing too the only time he's danced around me was once when he was really drunk and he was demonstrating how they danced as children (LOL... so funny I realized then why he doesn't dance, he's horrible) and once on our first dating anniversary. That's twice in nearly 5 years. He's agreed to do a first dance but the song has to be cut so that the beginning isn't as slow and its only 60 seconds long. He is also not doing a mother-son dance, although I am doing a father daughter dance.

He might go for the quick couple of seconds. I already know his mother will drag him on the dance floor eventually, but we are not planning on doing a Groom-Mother dance. I will be dancing with my father though and I was considering a wedding party dance. Most of the wedding party likes to line dance so I think either Footloose or Copperhead Road might be happening.

During the first dance "time", do a slideshow with a song playing - that way you can still have a wedding song to dance to in private. But it does suck that he won't dance with you for 2 minutes on one day of your lives.

I totally feel your FH. Neither of us are dancers, but FH is insisting we have a first dance and I'm kind of freaking out. I know we can just do prom-style hugging-and-swaying, but I'm seriously starting to shake just thinking about it right now as I type. Everyone will be *watching*. And possibly cat-calling. (Some of his cousins, man, IDK.) It'll have to be a very short song and I might need to have a drink or a dose of anxiety meds first so I don't hyperventilate.

I'd encourage him to think about it (and make those concessions of a short song, no "moves"/rhythm required, being joined by bridal party after 30 seconds, or having the best man or your dad cut in), but if he really can't/won't, consider just starting off with the father-daughter dance to open the dance floor, and maybe do your first dance *with him* later in the evening when there's no pressure/spotlight.

My husband was exactly the same way almost 20 years ago so you know what I did? I nixed the dance. It was important to him, and he is so super self conscious. I felt I had no right to make him as uncomfortable as I know he would have been just for the sake of a "first dance."

Please don't issue ultimatums. a year and a half ago one of my DD's got married. She did an anniversary dance and I said - wanna go out there? He said yes. The one and only time he has ever ever danced with me. If he would have said no, I would have been fine with it. He doesn't owe me a dance and your FI doesn't owe you one either if it makes him that uncomfortable.

My FH has two left feet. He also has no desire to learn or dance. We are doing a slow song to which we will start alone then family will join us. One couple at a time will take turns with us and then they go back to their SO but stay on the dance floor, is actually more hugging and kissing people than actually dancing lol

As others have suggested, maybe 20-30 seconds with just you and then have both sets of parents join you on the dance floor, so it takes away some of the focus.

My FH doesn't dance in public either, but I've somehow managed to convince him to learn the Thinking Out Loud video. Since Ed Sheeran mostly just stands there, he's okay with it.

Also, I love Taylor's suggestion of 'I Don't Dance'. Great song if you're into country.